Dave and Dorothy--Married over 65 years
1-You can remember all your youth and high school but not what you did last week.
2-Your spirit is willing but your knees are weak.
3-By the time you get ready to go, you are too tired to go.
4-Young ladies treat you nice, they know you’re harmless.
5-Your wife says you only hear what you want to hear—you are glad you can’t hear it all.
6-"Ben Gay” is your best friend.
7-Your favorite song is “Memories”.
8-You can’t afford to live and you can’t afford to die.
9-You have too much stuff.
10-A new bike now costs more than your first car at $1800.
11-You have more friends under ground than above ground.
12-You can gain weight just by looking at food.
13-You steer the car but your wife is the driver.
14-All the dummies are in Congress and all the smart ones are on TV.
15-You have lived happily for 85 years without Facebook, Google, Internet, Smart Phone, or even a computer.
16-You remember paying 25cents for a gallon of gas.
17-You have lived through at least six wars.
18-You have to buy a nice head of hair.
19-You are still paying taxes!
20-Your best exercise is just going up and down stairs.
21-Most of your social life is in grocery and post office lines.
22-Most of your phone calls are a pain in the a.__.
23-Everyone looks older than you at your class reunion.
24-Looking in the mirror the first thing in the morning is the worst thing you can do.
25-You can afford steak but you don’t want it.
26-Your wife knows far more than you do.
27-A morning BM is the best thing that happens all day.
28-You have lots of time to read but your eyes get tired.
29-You hit the golf ball with a Driver about the distance a Pro can with a 9 iron.
30-You don’t lose many golf balls anymore because they don’t go far enough to be out of sight.
31-The suit styles are still changing but you don’t care.
32-The old songs and movies are better than the new ones.
33-You remember when a $6.50 hamburger was 15 cents and a $3.50 ice cream cone was a nickel.
34-The way the youth talk you wonder if there are any good English teachers in the schools today.
35-You only take the daily paper to read the obituaries.
36-Your families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts.
37-You can’t understand why anyone would go to a “Harry Potter” movie at midnight and who is Harry Potter anyway?
38-You like Harry Truman!
39-You remember when only sailors had tattoos.
40-You walked to school.
41-You ate 3 meals a day with the whole family!
42-You remember when no one wore shorts, especially to school.
43-You have lived through many 3 initials WPA,PDQ,OPA,CBS,NBC,ABC,FOX,LDS,USA,QVC…
44-Most of your rump has disappeared and reappeared around your waist.
45-The only four letter word you like and use is “four”.
46-You delivered papers for years but “tips” were not invented yet and neither was Mom driving you in a car.
47-You remember when Mom called in her grocery order and they delivered them at no extra charge.
48-Castor Oil and Vicks cured everything when you were young.
49- And dogs did not live in the house!
50-And children played outside as much as they could.
51-You made your own kites, wooden guns and lead soldiers.
52-You never got spanked even when you deserved it.
53-Family picnics were a BIG deal.
54-There was no Fast Food except for Mom’s cooking.
55-Movies cost 10 cents and on Pal Nite two could go for a dime.
56-A ‘Black Cow’ sucker lasted through most of the movie but not the Friday Night added Serial.
57-You went through 12 years of school with no back packs and no car.
58-Passing gas in the morning is the best feeling of the day.
59-You usually win “Longest Marriage” (65 years) at the programs and reunions you go to. When they ask “How did you do it?” You reply “Don’t die!”.