It has been 22 years since Richard passed away but when I am alone at Thanksgiving I relive that night over and over. Still, I cannot believe it has been that many years since it happened. My life has gone by very quickly even though I have been very lonely for most of the time.
Since the horrible fire last Thursday I have been very nervous and unfocused. It is just so overwhelming how fast someone's life can change by a death, by a tragedy, by an accident and one is never prepared. I feel so alone and vulnerable but I do not know what to do about it. Over and over I make the decision that I stay here in the summer and just go to San Diego for a few months in the winter but I keep having to rethink the decision over and over.
For three days here I am eating everything I have missed over the past year or more. I really need to stop, it is too fun. Dr. wants me to not eat any yogurt for the next six months to see if I can get my sugar level down. He says there is too much sugar in it. Oh, if he could see what I have eaten today. But....
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