Saturday, December 31, 2011

Keira Tries Walking on the Beach



The Mantras I Live By

I have had some mantras I try to follow faithfully.  "Do What You Have To Do When It Has To Be Done" has been with me since Sister Holladay proclaimed it in a First Ward Sunday School Class in San Diego in 56 or 57.

"Never Assume" is something I imbued in all of my loan processors and loan officers when I was heading Choice Mortgage in the loan brokerage business.  I find it is also a truism in Suduko, something I have been doing for about the past five years.

A newer one that is so important is "Always Hold On When Going Down Stairs".  This means I cannot carry anything with two hands and go down stairs.  This has been in my life since I slipped on the stairs two years ago and dislocated my shoulder.

"Step Carefully" and "Eat Slowly" are new ones I am adding.  If I don't pay attention and trip I can fall so easily.  And if I don't pay attention to what and how I am eating I can suddenly have something lodged in my throat and it is very painful to release.

Growing Old is an interesting time which those who die young never get to experience.  You need a sense of humor and a great appreciation for what it is like to be a toddler.

Hardy Family at Park City

What a beautiful picture of Jacob, Camber, James, Kelsi, Lea, Jimmy and Camber's Dad Greg.

Martin Hardy Family at Park City

Wish I could name them all.  I know Susan Sutehall is in the purple on the left.  Nice looking family!

More Pulsipher Christmas 2012



What a beautiful family amongst the beautiful colors.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Just Do the Best You Can

Today I put all the Christmas things in their containers and Michael will help put them on the shelves when he returns.  He is in Sacramento for the night and I will clean good tomorrow and then get on with something more interesting.
I talked a long time to Marjorie yesterday and she is going through what I was going through.  Reason tells you that you should not feel so depressed but you just can't reason yourself out of it.  I ran across this quote in The Ensign today and thought it makes so much sense in light of my experience the other day.  "Just do your best every day" (and don't dwell on the negative) I might add.  This was the quote from Elder Russell Ballard.

“Not long ago, one of my children said, ‘Dad, sometimes I wonder if I will ever make it.’  The answer I gave to her is the same as I would give to you.  If you have had similar feelings,  Just do the very best you can each day.  Do the basic things and, before you realize it, your life will be full of spiritual understandiong that will confirm to you that your Heavenly father loves you.  When a person knows this, then life will be full of purpose and meaning, making balance easier to maintain.”
 

Christmas Day, Part 2, Lake Almanor, 2011



I had made some of Ray Collins Swedish Meatballs and decided to cook them in the Chili Sauce, Grape Jelly as Carole and Jane told me about. 

 Michael bought some really spicy Chili Sauce for me and WOW did it make them good.  That is a wonderful meatball recipe.  I also made some of Michael's quiche with some ham leftover from the Branch party.  

Michael planned to make some Ramaki when Mitch, Melissa, 
and Sean  came from their Dad's house.

But he did have his Cheesecake ready.  We were just not sure how it would be after the pan had leaked so much liquid.  Actually it looked a little strange but was still delicious. 

 Michael also unwrapped his three presents from Mark, Barry, and his grandparents and he liked the shirts and hats and money.

I watched "The Nutcracker" all afternoon as performed by the New York Ballet and it was superb.  I think I enjoyed it more than I ever had before.  Camber and the boys and Kelsi called so I enjoyed talking to them.  Linda sent pictures of the children in the hats and scarves I knitted for them.


The gate closed at 5 so Melissa called and I went down to let her and Sean in.  But Mitch had gone home to get some things and did not have a phone!!! 

 Melissa went back to the gate a half hour later and waited and waited and finally came back.  A little bit later Mitch and Bruce came through the back door.  They had left the car outside the gate and taken the shortcut but it was so dark they had a very hard time.  When there is no moon shining it is almost impossible  to see without a flashlight on the Peninsula. 




Anyway Michael made his treat even though it burned a little and they ate our goodies and then hurried home, except for Mitch who stayed the night and played games with Mike.  Note to myself: Never put burned bacon items with sugary sauce on a paper towel.





























It was a good holiday.  Melissa brought three presents from Crystal, Mark's wife,  though supposedly the peanut brittle was suggested by Mitch.  Anyway more chocolates and good hot chocolate for us.

Christmas Day, 2011

Christmas Day I awoke early and fed Bandido and sent him outside and then because I stayed up so late I went back to bed for another hour of sleep.  Oops, I awoke at 9:20.  Ordinarily if I did that I would say it is too hard to get myself together and be late for Church when it is only an hour anyway.

But I really wanted to go so I quickly dressed and made myself up (hair and make up looked not too good as I saw later in Melissa's pictures).  But I am so glad I hurried and only missed part of the first song.  Jane Brown's son and Kaylene, home from BYU, did some beautiful musical numbers.  Kaylene gave me a big hug after and is so happy to be at BYU.  She and I had talked on the same Sunday this past year and talked afterward a long time about going to BYU.  She looked more beautiful than ever.  Her sister is looking so beautiful, too, but I think when Kaylene is home Kristin takes a back seat and lets Kaylene get all the glory.

Anyway Ron Martin gave a good message and then BP Goolsby gave A Christmas Story.  It was about how life is like a puzzle and sometimes there is a missing piece and then when we find it, it fills and completes our life.  He told about the death of his second son at four months and how it hurt them and their marriage and the struggle they had and they decided to adopt because Darcy had diabetes and pregnancy was so hard on her.  The next year they unexcpectedly had the opportunity to get Josie a year before they thought they would be allowed.  She is part black but as soon as Darcy held her, she said This is our Josie!  And she has been such a blessing in their  life.  Darcy died when Josie was in Jr High and she was so strong through it all.  John said he asked her how she did it and she said,  "I don't know, Dad, I just do it."  She is a beautiful girl who married this past year.  

I found out his son Jesse writes and so I went on line and read a couple of his short stories and he is quite a writer.  He is writing a novel.  He is not active in the Church but has certainly done well in his education and is working at the pentagon now.  He has a lovely wife and two childdren.  Josie married in the Oakland Temple.  John is married to a nonmember but he said he felt Darcy picked her out for him.  She is such a lovely lady and is always a wonderful hostess to the Branch when we go to their home for parties but she does not come to Church for anything.  What a complicated life Bro Goolsby must have to maintain the balance.


2011 Pix

Monday, December 26, 2011

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Eve 2011

Christmas Eve started out with Mike and I making a cheesecake.  This is Mike's thing but he was leaving soon for Susanville to spend the Eve with his Dad and other siblings, so I did the crust.  I noticed that the flat bottom on the spring form pan didn't lay as flat as usual and I pushed it down as best I could but didn't think much more about it.  After it had been cooking for about a half hour the smoke alarm went off and smoke was pouring from the oven.  I couldn't imagine what this liquid was on the bottom of the oven because I had made cookies earlier and hadn't noticed anything.  Anyway, bottom line, I had to keep cleaning the oven and turning the oven off and on.   (Michael had left by now  and it was for me to finish!!)  I guess it was seepage from the cheesecake but it was clear and tasted like nothing.  We will see today whether it even completely cooked, whether it is too dry or what.  Oh, yes, and it did crack horribly on the top.  This is a no, no, for a good cheesecake. 

Then Lea called and asked if I had seen the movies of them skiing at Deer Valley and I then watched four movies of them skiing.  When I talked to Kelsi she said her Mom was teaching her to ski and she was just whizzing down it looked like.  And Jimmy went whizzing past her.  This was their first time skiing ever.  Yesterday they did the bottom of the hill for learning.  Kelsi said you just make your skis like a slice of pizza and go down.  No Fear, that girl!!  Lea looked good in her white jacket and Camber was on the sidelines skiing down looking lovely in a white ski outfit.

What did I eat, my favorites, I cooked a butternut squash and mashed it up well with lots of butter, had salami and cheese on a roll, and summer sausage and cheese on Ritz crackers with diet root beer and finished it off with peppermint ice cream, homemade ginger cookies and cinnamon bears.  Yes, the diet starts on Monday.

I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" which I hadn't seen in years and forgetting I had it on Roku I watched the longer version with all the commercials and that lasted until past midnight with stopping for phone calls from Maria and Linda and looking at both my Christmas books (from 1961 to 2010) and reading all the cards I had sent over the years.  Some of them were some pretty good poetry and some were pretty messy but it certainly gave me a time capsule of my life.  It was a pretty good life according to the Christmas cards.

Three observations:
1-In a Christmas card I had had the children draw Christmas pictures on and reprinted when Jimmy was 3, Maria 6, Linda 7 and John 9, John had drawn a little balloon over Baby Jesus with a line down to him as if this is what He was thinking about and in the balloon  was a drawing of the Crucifixion!!!!!  I wonder if I really noticed that before and asked him about it.  Amazing how children's minds work.   Linda had a very neat drawing of the Nativity scene and she said she remembered being very disappointed because she thought they were going to be printed in "The Children's Friend"!!!  Maria had a Santa Claus and Jimmy had something that looked like the manger.  Interestingly I just read that the manger would not have been wooden as has always been depicted, but it would have been made of stone.  In fact it said Joseph was not a carpenter but a stone mason!!!

2-In our 1981 card there was a picture of Meagan when she was around 1 year old and she had a big smile and showed her teeth which looked so much like Keira's Christmas picture.  Meagan had a little more hair but other than that, very similar.

3-After my 1997 card telling about the death of Richard at Thanksgiving time 1996 there was a beautiful letter from Sherry expressing her gratitude for living with us so long and everything Richard had done for her and expressed some  beautiful sentiments about him.   It was sad thinking they have both passed away.  In the 2004 card I didn't specifically address the death of John except as a byline, it was as if I thought everyone already knew about it.  I thought that was strange.

The Christmas cards also helped me to get straight in my mind when I had traveled where with SBA,  I do get those trips and years confused in my mind.

All in all,  it was not a lonely Christmas Eve sitting by the fire but it passed almost too quickly, just as my life passed too quickly as I viewed it through my Christmas cards and pictures.

Christmas in San Diego



Pulsipher Christmas Morning, 2011

Fun unwrapping presents in Las Vegas at Kristi's house on Christmas morning.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Fuqua Family Christmas 2011


My sister Carole's Family Christmas in Billings, Montana and Stephanie's in Livingston, Montana

Sunlight

 Today as I opened the blinds to let the sunshine in my dining room window, I was reminded that in the year 2000 I had gone to a man's house to pick up my census supplies so I could work for the 2000 Census (this was before my SBA job).  I loved the way the sun shined into his dining room window and I wished I could have that.

At the time the lot next to me was vacant and covered with very tall and thickly growing pine trees.   I could not even get reception from any of the TV companies. 

In 2005 the trees were mostly all cut down to make way for a new home.  Voila, sunshine in my dining room!!!

More Blessings

James gave me extra money for Christmas, how wonderful.

With the extra money I may be able to pay most of my HOA, that will be a big relief, I have been so worried about that!!!  Some people think it is silly to live in the club and have that cost but for security alone, I think it is well worth it.  It is a shame I do not use all the facilities and social aspects but...  It is nice I can walk across the streeet at high noon in my leopard  flannel pajamas to the postbox and not have to worry about anyone seeing me!

It has been so cold, I am so glad I discovered how wonderful it is to wear my long ski underwear every day and night.  Yesterday I made Linda a box from London pix.  It will be a delayed Christmas gift.  If only I had the boxes and calendars I could make Meagan and Camber one, too.  I used the box of the Vera Wang perfume Linda gave me and found the London calendar at Walmart.  Since we took a trip to London together it seemed appropriate.  I like the way it looks.

Michael and I are trying to decide what to have for Christmas afternoon snacking.  I have the meatballs and he is doing his favorite appetizers and making cheesecake and we still have the summer sausage and cheese.  I wonder about Meliss and Mitch???

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Wondrous Thing Happened to Me (Christmas Letter to my Children) 2011


Dear Linda and Gary, Maria and Johnny, James and Camber,


Saturday morning a wondrous thing happened to me. I had been feeling so dark, so discouraged, so hopeless and I just couldn't pull myself out of it.  It had gone on for months.  I had been seeking answers from the Lord and they were not coming. Friday night I pleaded again and cried for help.


Saturday morning the answer came. It was like I was getting patient instruction from a loving parent. It was:


"Janet, do you remember when ....and I did this for you... and do you remember this...and this... and He went through all the things I knew but was refusing in my dark mind to remember. All the many times the Lord has answered my prayers, has forgiven me, has carried me when I couldn't handle it all, has actually saved me from my myself and directed me down another path, all the many mini-miracles and tender mercies and all the loving people in my life, all the blessings, lifesaving experiences and learning experiences, and actual miracles.


The way I had been feeling was that I had had too much steeped on me and it wasn't fair and why didn't the Lord love me when I had tried my best to do what was required of me and why this and why that and my complaints went on and on.   I couldn't see where I was going from here, there was no joy in my life, I had nothing to show for all my work and struggle.  I was a failure and unloved.


And after the Lord instructed me it was like a great weight was lifted from me and He reminded me that everything was going to be all right and I should have peace and love and faith in my mind and heart instead of fear and doubt and discouragement. He reminded me that He had always been there and He would always be there. That we all have different experiences and what is really important and what doesn't matter and I should recognize the difference, I shouldn't be confused and doubt, I knew better. He was there always and all was well, He assured me He knew I was doing my best and I had done well. (I was also made aware of when I had failed to be my best but the pain from those experiences was lifted).


It was like a panorama of all my blessings of which my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are my greatest blessing now and I should just love and enjoy them and all the experiences of life that are still available to me. My home and the blessings of it are one. He reminded me of the many people in my life who had taught me, helped me, showed me the way and how blessed I was to have had them in my life. Richard as the father to my children and a faithful, loving, companion was one of my greatest blessings and I should not minimize that. The many experiences I had were for my instruction and not a curse in my life.


It all happened so fast, was I awake or still in sleep? I am not sure. I just know I was feeling joy and peace when it was over and it seemed I had so many things to do and I was excited to get on with my life and I felt such a strong knowledge of the Lord and the atonement and the plan of salvation and I was so grateful to have the gospel in my life and all it had brought to me. And all those bad feelings I had had for certain experiences were gone. I should have written it all down immediately. But what I have now is the feeling of peace and faith in my Savior and a desire to have more gratitude and a greater appreciation for each of you in my life. The fear I had been carrying for the future is gone. 


I am so thankful to have each of you helping me to endure to the end.  Each of you seems to have a different gift to give…  I know that life is good and we have much happiness in the simplest experiences we share. All is well. I will do the best I can and I know the Lord will make up the rest (probably through you). I love you all. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives.


Thank you all for being so patient with me.  Merry Christmas 2011.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Christmas Party in Rancho Santa Fe I Missed

White Elephant and Tacky Christmas Sweater Party at Hardy Home 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Crazy for Musicals

I just read about a musical I would love to see.  "Crazy for You" is a musical adapted from the Gershwin hit in 1930 of "Crazy Girl" but they have added a lot of other songs from other musicals.  It was first produced in 1992 Broadway and is now running for another year at least at a small theater, so it has had a long run.

If I had money, that is what I would do, go to New York to see a lot of musicals, go to Branson and see all the shows there, go to Nashville and see shows there.  I do love musicals.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Slooh and the Lunar Eclipse

Slooh is on my computer and you can watch interesting things happening in the skies.  This morning I woke up to watch the lunar eclipse.  However, as I looked outside at 5:30 AM I could see the crescent moon very bright in my own sky.  It was shining between two large pines and as I manuevered back and forth across my patio glass door I could see it get smaller and smaller in the next half hour.   I kept going back and forth between the real thing and my computer.  I could not distinguish the redness as it was covered, just the darkeness of the moon.

Eventually I couldn't see it at all and the early morning was so dark.  I could not see to the edge of the deck even.  Anyway I saw the Lunar Eclipse and Mike must have been traveling while it happened.  Because my noise had waked him, (he hates that), he decided to make his run to the ATM while he was awake and come back to sleep a few more hours before work.  He was not interested in the lunar eclipse at all!

Life

Bad news this morning, my SBA friend Bill has fallen and has to start all over again with physical therapy, he can't even stand,  He had been recovering well from a previous stroke and his wife Susan had  quit work to be with him 24/7.  Their life changed so dramatically from their skiing, traveling, full life.  Bill was such a healthy, physically fit man, a good Christian man who cared so much for family and friends.    Why we always wonder do good people have bad things happen to them.  He has spent a lot of time in physical therapy already and now he has to start all over.  He won't be able to be a ski instructor with his friends this year.  Even though he was only two years younger than me he was fit for this and loved it.

On the other hand I received a Christmas card from Richard's dear friend Vernon.  His dear wife died about the time Richard did.  He is at least 10 years older than I am.  He married last year  to the lady who lived across the street and is very happy.  What is amazing to me is how busy and active he has always been and still is.  Travels around the country in his camper for months every summer visiting friends and fishing.  His wife went with him this year.  Each week they entertain family at home and out.  They make regular trips to the hospital to cheer others and to the graveyard with flowers for loved ones.   They go to shows and other entertainment.  He lives like a young man, loves life and is extremely healthy.  Interestingly, as wealthy as he has always been, he has lived in a mobile home for years so a house and yard have not stolen his time of doing exactly what he wants to do with his life.  He is even writing western stories now, too.

Then their is my dear friend Myrna who has a problem with falling and so her 3 million dollar home in Manhattan Beach sits empty while she is in a convalescent home!!!  Myrna loved to dance, but no more.  She has lots of money but no place to use it.  She has always had many friends but can't go visit them or entertain them like she used to do.

When I walked into the Dollar Store the other day I glanced at a lady who had just come out.  She was much younger than I but very ragged and unkempt, very sad.  Looked like she was homeless.

Yesterday on the Dr. Phil show a very impressive 41 year old woman and her 37 yr old brother met the man who had killed their parents.  The woman was 7 when her mother was shot and she had to testify against the man in court.  Her father died 7 years later from injuries sustained that fateful day a drunken friend shot both of the parents.  The daughter said her father just could not live without his mother.  He had been a pastor and the woman and brother said their parents taught them about love and forgiveness.  The woman and man were amazing in their attitude of forgiveness and life skills they lived.   Her husband said she is the strongest person he knows.  She has written a book about it and the hateful third party person who had caused it all.  The book is called "The Devil in Pew 7".

Everyone has such different experiences and challenges, such different lives to live and who is to say who is doing the best job with what they were given.  As my granddaughter Meagan says, "everyone is just doing the best they can".  We like to believe that but life seems a lot harder for some people than others.  As Sister Parmely once said, "The Lord never said life would be fair, He just said He would be with you."  I hang on to that.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Little Things Mean A Lot

Several years ago I sat by a lady at a show in San Francisco and she talked about her long silk underwear her children had given her.  I now wear mine every day and heavier ones at night.  I love them.

For months I tried to find my favorite Loreal lipstick shade but finally decided it was discontinued and it was futile.  Than I discovered drugstore.com online.  They not only had the shade but at a reduced price and would ship free if I bought four of them.  Why not?  At least I won't have to buy any for awile.  So is it a discontinued shade and they just bought the left overs?  Or is it fake?  Or what?  I don't know but I am happy to find out about drugstore.com.  It appears to be the real thing, I received them in the mail.

Does it really work?  I have been eating a lot of grapefruit and voila I have lost a few pounds.  I am just not as hungry as usual.  How can that be???   Maybe I better buy some more grapefruit, I have already finished a big bag and that is only eating one a day.  I should be eating a half of one before every meal according to the article I read.  Maybe it really does diminish your appetite.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Bent Road

I've had a hard time focusing on a book lately,  starting them, putting them down, not listening to the audio, forgetting about the book, losing interest, etc. etc.

Then I started 'Bent Road' and listened all night and day, what a great book, the way the secrets unfolded, the suspense, the horror, the way I could envision everything so well.  It  will make a great movie and I am sure it will  be one.  The amazing part... this is the author Lori Roy's first book!

Great read, wish it wasn't her first book, I want to read more!

Thursday, December 01, 2011

in Keeping with the Tradition

Only a small batch but something different.  These are gluten free.  Maria gave me a cook book that uses potatoe starch and cornstarch in lieu of the usual rice flour for gluten free.  However, they are really good tasting so I am happy about that.  I also made some cinnamon bread yesterday and shortbread cookies, all with the potatoe and corn starch and they are very tasty with a great texture.

Keira Goes to the Desert

Oh, my goodness...
Queen of the World
So peaceful out here.
I need those sunglasses, Mom.

John Hardy Memorial Hike 2015

My Life So Far