Showing posts with label Richard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Richard. Show all posts

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Friday, January 03, 2020

Richard's Home in Las Vegas

Linda had seen the address of Richard's childhood home on Family Search and so visited while in Las Vegas for Ryan's priesthood ordination.  

It is now in "town" next to a large building and I am not sure why it has not been made into a commercial building.  It is evidently a lawyer's office but is badly in need of a new roof.  After Vida died, Richard and Martin gave the property to Miriam and I am not sure when it was sold or if it has even been sold.  Interesting.

Vida had a huge can of tinker toys and the children could make very interesting creations and would try and build them as high as they could.  I have never seen a larger collection of tinker toys in one home.

Vida's husband Merlin died when Richard was only 11.  Vida kept tenants in the bedrooms.  Her brothers were lawyers so she had a constant supply of women who were getting divorces.  I am not sure if she rented to men or not but I definitely know there were women and this is how she supported herself.

There was a nice basement with beds down there for when it was hot when we visited.  



Linda and Sarah pose in front of home.


This is a picture of Richard's home which is in his Memory Book of a picture taken when he left for college at BYU in 1949.



Saturday, June 16, 2018

Where Was Richard?

Last week Maria and Mitch were looking for Richard's Grave at the El Camino Memorial Park.  They called me and I gave them the directions I knew.  Finally I sent them pictures from our 2015 meeting there and they could see where it was located by the other buildings and such in the distance.

Strangely Maria was sitting right by it and Mitch said, "I am looking at it and it is not there, Grandma, do they ever take them out?"

He put down his pencil and felt it and then he began to pull away the long grass and mounds of dirt.


I notice in the upper right hand corner it looks like one above is also sinking into the ground.


I know we stopped digging for the vase as it kept getting buried long ago, now the tombstone, too?

I called the El Camino office and was immediately put with Rebecca who had been there for 21 years.  Richard was buried in 1996, 22 years ago.  She said she only knew of one other time that this had happened.  She apologized profusely and said she would send a crew out and do whatever needed to be done.  She did say that they had started using recycled water in January and there were more vitamins, etc in it and the grass was growing much more.  Mitch said it seemed very wet and soggy in that area.  She also said they were putting in a new system of maintenance which she thinks will prevent that happening again.  She also said she would call me and tell me what they find the problem is.  So far she has not called so I will make that call this week.

Thank goodness Mitch needed to write a paper about cemeteries or it might not have been discovered until when????  

She did say whenever you cannot find a plot immediately to come to the office or call their number and they will send someone out to find it for you.

For future reference, it is lot 167, space E and F (for me, too) in the Cumorah Lawn hill.  There is a beautiful large tree to the left of it.


Sharing Thoughts from Maria, James and Linda about their Father on Father's Day, 2018

Maria worked closely with Richard as his assistant for several years and she knew best about his business troubles and how he struggled to make everything work during that last fiasco which destroyed his financial world and probably his life.  She wrote a beautiful long talk about Richard which is in his memoirs.  Let me share just the ending for this Father's Day.  She was living in another city at this time.

"I never worked for Dad after all that, it was pretty disheartening to be a part of such a difficult time, it caused us a lot of stress not only because we worked there but seeing how difficult it was for Mom and Dad.  Dad tried hard to shield Mom from how bad things were but she knew.  I wrote in my journal one day during that time that Mom had started crying to me because of all the problems that were going on and the frustration she felt toward Dad. it really scared me because my mom never cries, in fact, I only saw her cry one other time in my life.

Dad did his best to make the project work, but too many things were working against him, he didn't have a chance.  Constantly putting more money in so they could get it done and get out.  Those who were involved with him, his investors, those who stayed close to what was going knew it also.  Even through all that, even through the money the investors lost, and the fiasco of the project, his investors, his clients, still think the world of him.  Once the project started, there was no quitting, it had to be seen through to the end.  He couldn't have walked away if he wanted to, there were so many loose ends that needed to be tied up for any of the partners to walk away, it wasn't just Dad, they were all stuck like glue to the bitter end.  It was definitely these projects that financially ruined Dad.

Interestingly enough though, the worse things got, the more Dad read and shared his insights and testimony.  When I was having a difficult time with money and he felt bad that he had none to give, he had great wisdom to share instead.  He always stayed positive in his views and was a wonderful example of perseverance, integrity, and courage.  

My Dad may have died penniless, but he was wealthy to me, wealthy in all the things that mattered."

I found this from a talk that James gave in 2001.  I think it is beautiful the way he talked about Richard's testimony.  The talk was on Testimony.

"In preparing for this talk I thought of my Dad who passed away a few years ago.  He lived a successful life in business and as a father and as a husband.  He enjoyed a full life of boats, cars, dream homes, and dream vacations. Yet toward the end of his life, his business was not as successful.  His net worth was dismal and his car was less than desirable. Yet I believe his last years he spent reflecting on his life.  Wondering at times if he had done all he could.  Wondering at times if he had accomplished all that he should have. 

 A few years before he passed away he was called as a Temple worker.  He told me when he was first called he was concerned that he didn't have time, with his business being less than optimal, but he had never turned down a call.  While at the Temple often his thoughts were focused on his life.  The example he had lived, the people whose life he had touched and served.  He was a great missionary who bared his testimony often. I think of what he left and what he took to the other side.  He left his testimony.  And he took his testimony.  And today he is still busy about his Father's business."

Linda gave a wonderful Father's Day talk a few years ago and included a little about Richard's background so I am including it as well as her thoughts about him to show how it probably influenced how he became the charitable and kind person he was.

"To give a little background of my Dad, his own father passed away when he was just 11 years old.  He was the youngest of 3 brothers and his mother worked very hard to raise 3 boys alone.  Money was scarce and life was hard.  I think that at some point in my father's life he made a decision that his own children would never have to experience the same hardships he did. And he did accomplish that goal.  My father worked very hard to provide his family with the things that he so desired as a child. But at the same time, it was also very important to him that we knew that the material things we enjoyed in this life in no way made us better or worse than someone else.   I received very few scoldings from my father but I do remember him being very disappointed in me when in my youth I didn't want to give someone a ride to the dance.  He made it very clear that as long as I was living in his house and driving his cars that I would give this person and any other person that called a ride to the dance.  He was a very generous and non-judgemental person.  If we spoke unkindly about someone's behavior or looks he would point out that we don't know enough about that person's background to make assumptions about this person and the things he does or doesn't do. 

 He was never too busy to help someone who needed him and I never heard him speak unkindly of anyone.  He owned his own business and often hired people not because they would be an asset to him and his company but because he could provide an opportunity to train this person and give them some skills they couldn't get somewhere else.  I remember one young man that he hired who had no desirable work skills.  But my father gave him a car to drive and simple tasks and errands that he could perform.  This young man was not very responsible and at one point he even stole from my Dad.  But my father never got angry or talked poorly about him, and he did not let him go.  He knew he was a troubled youth without a father or anyone to guide him, and he saw a chance for him to make a difference in someone's life.  His attitude was that if someone stole from him, they probably needed it more than he did.  

My Dad was a great example of a person with charity.  He was always more concerned with other's needs than his own."




My Husband on Father's Day, 2018

I guess it is natural I would marry a man who was also kind, caring and gentle.  I used to tell my Mom I wanted to marry someone like Dad and she would say, well, it takes time to become that person, they have lots to learn even when they get married.

Nevertheless,  the thing that attracted me to Richard was his caring way and how kind he was to everyone.  From the night we met he made me feel that I was so important to him and he was not letting me go to anyone else and he would take care of me.  That was that. 

Six weeks later he made it happen, we married.  It was not until he had his first heart attack that I realized I could not be "taken care of" forever, I needed to grow up and be a partner and less his burden, not make it more.  He used to always call the babysitter and do anything else I did not want to do.  For instance, scrub the kitchen floor. 
 
Of course, I did the yard work, he did not like that.  And I was a good wife, who did all the things wives in the fifties were expected to do, much more than most think is necessary today, but he took care of me and tried always to do what I asked of him.  Actually, he always used to take my car and get it gassed, even when I had been a career woman for years.  He was always kind and of service.  Resting on the couch? and I needed something, he would willingly go...always of service.

I surely learned to take care of myself, 22 years now...but always, even in those last years when things were so hard and I was not a happy camper a lot of the time and I gained so much weight doing work I did not enjoy in the mortgage business and seeing our world fall apart with the business disasters, he would tell me he loved me, most every day.

 In the Temple, those last three or four years of his life whenever we would chance to meet in our service there, he would immediately whisper in my ear how beautiful I was or tell me he loved me.  He was a caring man.  And he was a caring father, a good father, a good example of work ethics and faithfulness and dutifulness.  He cared so for his Mother and his brother's family and his office workers and anyone else in need.







Richard's Patriarchal Blessing

 I thought it was interesting that Richard was always of so much service to everyone and he enjoyed it and the second to last paragraph of his blessing addresses that very matter.  I scanned some things for Linda today and she asked me if I could scan them into my blog.  Yes, I can but I cannot make them a large as I would like.  So it may be hard to read. 





Monday, October 23, 2017

Melissa Was Here!!!


Maybe I should put in a picture of me when I was Melissa's age so we can know I was not always so wrinkled!!!  Melissa has the most amazing skin and teeth and eyes and hair, I was not nearly so pretty or gifted with such amazing looks so just as well not.  I have earned those wrinkles and scars though, believe me.

I so enjoyed having Melissa here for two days.  For some reason we can carry on a continual conversation until she tires of talking anyway.  But I always enjoy our conversations and usually learn many things I did not know.  She is so smart!

We ate out a couple times and I cooked a dinner for Saturday night and then Sunday afternoon she needed to get down to Sacramento in time for supper and fly home the next day.  I am so glad she took the time to come and see me though.  And I learned something I need remember always.  She has lots of decisions to make about what she wants in life and I wish her well.  I am sure she will continue to be exceptional in whatever she chooses.

After we had discussed some frustrating things about working with others and in an office and our own needs not being met, etc.  I must have had it all on my mind because the next morning I woke up and said, "I have had and epiphany!!"  All these years I have resented Richard wanting me to learn all about mortgages and then having learned too much it became my career for the next 30 years and so much of that time I hated it!!!  He said to me once, "How can you hate something you are so good at?"

What was the epiphany?  Richard didn't ask me to learn all about brokering conventional loans.  He did not know anything about that.  He asked me to come down and be an office manager and do a few private loans if I wanted to.  Yes, I needed my real estate license to do that but...It was I that learned all about the business of brokering loans to other lenders, it was I that spent hours with the Beverly Hills Loan Specialist to find out how to do it, that invited other lender reps and brokers to our office to teach us, that got us approved with so many lenders, that got us educated in processing and getting loans and understanding adjustable mortgages and etc. etc. etc.  It was I!!! Not Richard.  I chose to learn it.  I chose to do it.  And why?  Because there is something in my personality, and Maria's personality and Melissa's personality that if we see a need to improve a situation we are in, we research and learn and figure out what can be done and how to do it better...to improve continually.  How many times did I organize and reorganize everything in our office...

Maria says if  you work in a job like hers, that kind of drive gets you promoted!!  And she was recently promoted again!!!  And Melissa was promoted a while back, too.  She also said our weaknesses are our strengths and our strengths are our weaknesses.  I see now the secret is learning how to manage it.

You need to learn how to harness this drive to where you don't spend all your time trying to make everything better and forget to take the necessary time for yourself.

In a letter that I wrote to myself  many years ago when I was trying to figure out why I hated my mortgage life so much I had decided it was because I never had time for myself.  I never "took" the time for myself though.  I did not make it a priority.  Everything to do with the job was a priority  and yes, there was always things to do better, things to finish, things to start.  These things were always more important than myself.  I did emotional eating,  I was stressed, I was frustrated but I did not learn how to manage my time to have a balanced life.

When I worked for SBA it was much better but I still was spending a lot of my time developing charts and lists and etc. etc. for the good of the whole but having to take my 'own' to do them instead of spending that extra time on my own needs.

Anyway Maria says if I processed that all in my mind so I can stop blaming others for my own choices then I really did learn something and she is right.  And now I have it down in black and white so I will always have to accept the responsibility for my own choices and not blame anyone else (Richard) etc.


Sunday, December 20, 2015

Richard and Janet in 1959

I have very few pictures of Richard and I in the first year of our marriage.  We did not buy a movie camera until after John was born in 1960.  I am not sure what kind of camera we had.  But these pictures were taken in December 1959 when Mom and Dad came to visit.   We had eloped on October 23 after knowing each other since the Sunday before Labor Day 1959.  These pix have been captured from the movie film Steve T put on YouTube so they are not very good.





These two pictures are with my Mom.




 This picture has one of my favorite outfits.  I had made the skirt and had a sweater to match with a wide belt.


Thursday, January 22, 2015

Honoring Richard and Frenchie

Thursday morning I walked on the beach and enjoyed the Jacuzzi again.  Then I left for Linda's.  Gary's Dad Frenchie is at home and not expected to live much longer.  Hospice and Amy have been caring for him.  We decided this was a good morning to visit him and Marilyn in El Cajon.  Frenchie and Marilyn are still a beautiful couple.




This is a very caring way to say a slow goodbye to your loved one.  There is so much love surrounding Frenchie.  It is beautiful to see.  Still it is so sad that Marilyn will now be a widow, too.  We have some good sharing moments as we pay our respects to Frenchie and talk to Marilyn.  Amy said that caring for her Grandpa made her look at her job as a nurse in a whole new way.

I don't think I had noticed Marilyn's beautiful garden in the front, it is mostly all succulents.  I have always wanted to have that kind of garden.  Several of the homes around Linda' house have the succulents mixed in with other plants and it is really lovely.

Linda and Maria had invited me to go to lunch after visiting and tending to the grave of Richard at El Camino.  I was overwhelmed to see so many join us.  We had a lovely time sharing stories about Richard.  So many of the grandchildren did not know him at all.  I really appreciated everyone coming.  In attendance Linda, Amy, Kelly, Sarah, James, Camber, Jacob, Lea,  Maria, Matt, Meagan, Keira, Eden, Kristi, Brynn, Molly,






Meagan's Keira and Kristi's Brynn




Meagan's Eden and Kristi's Molly


Then we all went to a Crepe place nearby.  We were the only ones in to store but it overwhelmed the attendant.  Actually she did a great job getting everyone served.  Some of the youth wondered to other near by vendors and brought food back.  It was such a great time to be with so much family.









It was an emotionally packed day as we shared time at Frenchie's and then with Richard and with so many of the family there.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Thanksgiving Time

Well, it is that time of year again--the saddest time of the year.  It was 18 years ago that Richard died the day before Thanksgiving in Susanville.  We had come to spend the holiday with Maria's family.



My brother David says he feels the same way  as my brother Dick also died at Thanksgiving time and Jeanne's husband died in early November also.  Thanksgiving, a time for remembrance.






 It really hit me this last Sunday as we were singing the first hymn, it was a song I was not familiar with but the music was by Alexander Schreiner, the great organ player and author.  It was "Thy Spirit, Lord, Has Stirred Our Souls".  For some reason it brought tears to my eyes and made me think of those sad Thanksgivings.  I should learn to play it on the organ, it is so beautiful.


Over the years the holidays have just not been the same without Richard in my life. Every year I have to decide, should I decorate for Christmas or not???  Seems I always feel alone, no matter where I am.  The Hardys were thinking about coming up this year for Thanksgiving but I really think it would be better for them to come up when it is warm and there is more to do.  It has been in the 20's the last few nights, the coldest we have had so far and I understand there have been some broken pipes. Thank heaven Matt called and he is coming for Thanksgiving and maybe he will bring a friend, I hope so.


My neighbors were up because some gutter workers found their front door open.  The raccoons had gotten in and made a terrible mess in the kitchen.  It is unbelievable to me as well as to him that he had left the door open.  I have watched them as they close up the house and they are so meticulous.   He is getting older, no doubt.


This month there were so many birthdays.  Kate's was the end of October and then Ryan, Jimmy, Mitch and Maria all had birthdays in November.  I just send the E Cards anymore.


I finally got a speaker for my tablet.  It makes it so much easier when I am doing work and don't have to be so near to hear.  Of course, I have my big speakers I got in Guam but I use them on my computer, I just got one of those little round ones like Linda showed me.


I am listening to the life of Billy Crystal.  He is really an unpretentious nice guy.   So far one of the funniest chapters I thought was his lamenting about how much more fun the Christian holidays were than the Jewish--with Christmas trees and presents and Easter bunnies, chocolate eggs, etc. and the Jewish holidays are all about fasting and asking forgiveness, etc.  It was so funny and I have never heard any Jewish person talk about it like that.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Happy Birthday, Richard, from Maria...

Maria called Johnny and had him meet her at El Camino and he had brought some things to put on Richard's grave.  So nice.  Love the pictures and that she was thinking of her Dad.  And that Johnny come and met her, too.  She also said they ate at a new place nearby that was really good food--called "The Grave" I thought she said...and I should go with her next time I am in town, which will be January 22nd for my birthday!


Anyway I was also reading in Richard's Memory book some of the messages and letters that were said about him to me from his clients, temple workers, friends, relatives.  So many lovely things were said, he was so loved by so many.  



Happy Birthday to Richard! 83 years...in Earth Time



Richard's birthday today, so feeling gloomy.  I remember when I was working in Galveston after Hurricane Katrina and Rita and we went to a Christmas parade downtown.  Glenda dressed up in Victorian costume but I did not.  There were many who did.  One couple in particular  in white hair caught my attention.


I thought how wonderful that would be to have a partner to grow old with together and look so comfortable marching in a parade or anywhere.  Of course, there is no knowing how happy they were but they looked happy.  I was envious.


I remmber also in Hong Kong with Meagan when we visited some town and were in the mall.  I was watching the escalator as a Mormon missionary senior couple emerged at the top and were animatedly talking--on their day off, I suppose, and I was really envious.  They looked so happy in their togetherness.


No answers as to why some people live a long time in pain or bedridden and others just drop dead at a young age...no answers.  And others live a long time sharing a lifetime of joy and trouble together. Seems I have been alone a lot...oh, well, hope Richard is happy on his mission up there.  Wish I had it a little easier in my old age.


But I am working on the front deck.  I did a lousy job of cleaning it because I ran out of deck wash and steam so the stain job will not be so good, but there is always next yearr...maybe do a better job then...or no job at all.  Life is so unpredictable.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Father's Day 2014


Father's Day today and while I was listening to four children talking about their Father and telling Father's Day stories I was thinking of some about my Dad.


I remember so well in my preschool years standing in front of him at our Cottage meetings and singing "In Our Lovely Deseret"--an old fashioned song they never sing in Church anymore.  I didn't know all the words but the ones I did I loved to sing out.


We went on picnics and he would help us get that strange thick grass that had joints--so fun to play with, I wonder what it was.  We also gathered cattails.  This was when I was in grade school.


He expected us all to work and always had something for us to do--I started putting price tags on clothes at the store when I was very young.  It was things like sox and simple things like that.  He made us all part of everything and never acted like we did anything wrong.  Were we really that helpful when so young?  I remember doing the inventory every year between Christmas and New Years.  Very tedious but no one complained that I remember.


He never yelled at us, did he?  Very gentle.  No physical punishment of any kind.  Were we always so good or did my parents just not believe in punishment.  They just expected us to do what we should and be where we should be it seemed.


In high school he was always at all the ball games and knew our friends who played ball and would talk to them.  He drove me and my friends to many a football and basketball game away from home. My friends thought he was marvelous to be willing to do that.


He didn't get mad at me when I dented the car running into someone else, he just talked quietly to me and had me drive the car home so I would not lose my confidence or dignity I guess.


He never seemed stressed by so many children with needs--just seemed to enjoy the whole family scene.   He had three in college at a time for quite awhile.  Never complained that I remember but he did expect us all to work to share in the cost.


Maria also sent some thoughts about Richard, her Dad, which I appreciated so much!


Happy Father's Day!  Since I don't have one here to send anything to, just thought I'd tell you picked a great dad for your kids!


A few favorite memories as a child:

You always had dinner in the oven for him and a place set on the table for when he came home late (which was often).  I loved coming downstairs and sitting with him while he ate.  He would put bread in his milk...I always thought that was so funny.


He made bologna treats, just wrapped lettuce and miracle whip in a bologna burrito for a snack.


I loved running down the stairs and jumping in his arms, standing on his feet to dance and playing games with him in Sacrament meeting with his hands, while his eyes were closed.  He was so patient and easy going.


Once was challenged to walk on his hands, and he did, right in the foyer at church.


I still miss him and often wish I could talk over things with him because he always had a great perspective and an analogy that shed light in a new way.


Lots of good memories of growing up in our house!


PS--About the bread in the milk.  This was something we did when we were growing up, too.  If it was toasted, we put butter on the bread and put it in warm milk--so soothing.  If it was plain white bread in cold milk, we would sprinkle a little sugar on it.  My dad loved to put his cake in milk--always ate it that way that I remember.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Words of Wisdom by Richard Hardy


Happy Birthday, Richard.

Richard had a lot of thoughts that he tried to live by.  This was a contribution that he gave to a monthly letter when he was a young missionary.
     I have often told myself how wonderful it is to be independent.  Independent in thought, action, and in all the daily dealings with our fellow men.  To be independent is to be self-sufficient.  To provide your own living expenses, to drive your own car, to have more knowledge and more experience than those whom you contact, all these things, contribute to a feeling of independence.

     From early childhood our goal in life seems to be independence.  First we try to break the ties to our parents and from there we gradually increase our independence until we need no council, need no friends, need to accept help from no one and are not obliged to help anyone.

      At one time or another every soul that comes to the earth realizes that we are inherently dependent.  The greatness of the individual is in direct proportion to the degree that he accepts his dependence.  The great souls are those who need love and therefore give it to others, those who need council and therefore give it without reprisal.  Jesus Christ, the greatest of all, never spoke one thing that his Father didn't tell him to speak (John 12:49-50.
 
     When we remember that we are dependent on others and that others are dependent on us, then and only then, do we gain a true perspective to fulfill our calling.

     The very best lesson that can be learned beyond perhaps faith in God himself, is to enjoy what you're doing, the people you're with, the place you're in , and not to let life be postponed, for the happiness you have has to be today.  As expressed by the poet, "At every dawn I say, if not today, my joy will come to me tomorrow, and hoping for delight dawn becomes night till thus deceived I find unto my sorrow at last that hoping for tomorrow my life has passed."

     We should do what we are alive to do today, and should do it by divine guidance.  This guidance can best be gained by having charity for others and making a real effort to understand their problems.

     Arthur Snitchler in "Vanity Fair" tells us, "The world would be better off if every believer did not feel himself superior to the doubter in nobility of soul, and every doubter did not have the same attitude toward the believer on the score of intelligence.  The doubters can be imbeciles, and believers can be scoundrels, and vice versa." As Shakespeare said, "A man may smile and smile and be a villain still." A man may be a leader and a missionary, and a girl may be apparently a pillar of truth and light, and act like she knows how to handle herself, and it may appear that she's really qualified to be emulated and loved and admired, and she may not be, and he may not be.

     May the Lord bless us to be what we are, to do what we have to do today, and to do it with charity and a feeling of dependence on our Father in Heaven.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day Gift.



Maria cleaned up Richard's tombstone and laid a rose across it. It gets covered with lots of tough grass and it is hard to clean up.  So appreciative, Maria, thank you.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

In Memory


In 1978, prior to the terrible 80's, happier times.  Richard passed on November 27 at 2:20 AM and I have missed him so much and I am so sorry he missed knowing his grandchildren and great grandchildren.  He would have been very bored in Lake Almanor though, not his style.

Today I stocked up prior to the storms we are supposed to be getting.  I treated myself to the Pumpkin Shake I have loved ever since discovering them in Galveston after Hurricane Rita  and Katrina--will ever remind me of that lovely place or what was a lovely place.

I was so exhausted when I returned I didn't even put the groceries away and immediately fell to sleep.  When Maria called at 5:30 I had just awaken and thought it was 5:30 in the morning and wondered why on earth she was calling so early.

I believe that Mitch is right and what I thought were spider bites and  aches and pains from being on my feet so much over the holiday is Shingles...Yikes, I wonder how long this will go on, I have read from 2 to 4 weeks!!!!  Better get back to sleep with my heating pad.  Somehow it is a comfort.

John Hardy Memorial Hike 2015

My Life So Far