Thanksgiving Eve

It has been 22 years since Richard passed away but when I am alone at Thanksgiving I relive that night over and over.  Still, I cannot believe it has been that many years since it happened.  My life has gone by very quickly even though I have been very lonely for most of the time.

Since the horrible fire last Thursday I have been very nervous and unfocused.  It is just so overwhelming how fast someone's life can change by a death, by a tragedy, by an accident and one is never prepared.  I feel so alone and vulnerable but I do not know what to do about it.  Over and over I make the decision that I stay here in the summer and just go to San Diego for a few months in the winter but I keep having to rethink the decision over and over.

For three days here I am eating everything I have missed over the past year or more.  I really need to stop, it is too fun.  Dr. wants me to not eat any yogurt for the next six months to see if I can get my sugar level down.  He says there is too much sugar in it.  Oh, if he could see what I have eaten today.  But....

What Now?

It is early am on November 5th and I have not written in my blog for part of September and all of October, why is that?  I am not sure, I just can't decide how I want to spend my time!  I can't seem to finish any job I start, why is that?  I am even having a hard time finishing a puzzle.  That is not like me.  But I just can't seem to get the right pieces to fit at the end and I keep taking them apart and toying with the idea of just not finishing it and putting it back in the box...wow, that is not like me at all!!!  What is going on in my mind?

Here is what I do know.  I am experimenting in cooking with the Instant Pot and so far have made delicious Split Pea soup with ham hocks!!  I also took a whole bag of frozen chicken thighs and made chicken taco filling.  Most delicious and oh, so easy.  I need to get some accessories so I can try other  of my favorite foods but I really think I can get rid of other utensils and will just take the Instant Pot with me when I go down to San Diego.  Still, up in the air about taking my big computer or laptop, it is so hard for me to be decisive anymore.

I have also decided for sure not to buy Christmas gifts this year.  What I contribute is not worth much and probably will not be missed and since James has paid me off I just do not have enough cash flow to take care of the basics without going into debt and I just cannot do that anymore, so Christmas without presents, for sure.  I will have to think about how to spend it more wisely.

I am meeting Linda at the Sacramento airport on Dec 14 at 10:30 and going to stay at James and Camber's house.  James is making lots of money and toying with the idea of getting a condo or something which they would use as income property and let me live in but very up in the air and I need to retain my house.  I will probably end up in Jimmy's room as Kelsi wants to keep her room this year.  Whatever beggars cannot be choosers I keep reminding myself and I just know I cannot stay up here all winter alone again.  However, they are going to Park City and ? for three weeks and little Jimmy and Kelsi will probably be back for school in January when Camber and James go to Viet Nam for business!!!  Wow.  Anyway, I will be alone with the dogs so hope I can make my techy stuff work or my sisters or someone will come to visit.  Life is so up in the there.  Just remembered I have my appointment with the heart doctor tomorrow.  I wondered when I will have a heart attack?  There is that, too.

I have been experimenting with bone broth and decided it is a very healthy thing to keep up.  Except for cheating on some milk chocolate chips I eat very healthy and I had a long time sore throat but after I drank the bone broth for a few days it went away.  I was taking the bone broth for getting rid of belly fat but it cured the sore throat instead...oh, my, what is real anymore?  I am not sure at all but it is healthy, I am sure of that and easy, if you can just find the bones.

So, do I finish my 80's book? Or do I not?  Cannot decide, I guess I will just get rid of some more stuff today, that is always needed, for sure.

Sadie

Since I moved the rockers Sadie has adopted the other rocker to sleep in whenever I am in the rocker watching TV or reading.

Summer is Over Too Soon

This is usually my favorite time of year but it was 36 degrees the other night and it has been cool in the day, too.  It is more like October!  Sadie and I have been trying to take longer walks, he is very encouraging, but I just can't seem to do it every day.  However, this week I wore a raincoat and gloves!  It was that cool.  But I think the sun will return again for the rest of the month, hopefully.

I talked to the Handyman.  I will have to use him to do the trim on the house.  It really needs it and it is very high.  Hopefully, it will get done before it gets really cold.  Joe helped me get my kindling finished and in bags and I have some wood, hopefully enough.  The staining of the decks, etc. will just have to wait till next summer. 

I really like using the blower to help clean the immediate yard and I did a really great job and threw away a lot of the squirrel's cones they have been sending down.  Next day they had quadrupled the amount, it did seem like it was total revenge.  Can they really process that in their little brains?  They were throwing them at me, it seems.

Haven't been to a movie for a while but Saturday Maryanne and I saw "Alpha".  Very well done, great photography and story.  How they got the animals to do what they did I thought was amazing.

I have been working on San Diego 2 and it goes slow but oh, I wish I could finish all my books this year and totally get rid of everything unnecessary.  My plan is to live here as long as I can and just go south for a couple months in the winter.  We will see how that goes.

Nice day at church yesterday except the furnace was not working and we took blankets from our cars to keep us warm.  Halfway through there was a worker there and he found the problem and fixed it!!
The microphone seemed to be working better and Bro Dyer said he thinks they worked on it and also said he wants to replace the whole sound system.  YES!!!!

Jacob

Jacob will be leaving for his mission to Buenos Aires, Argentina in October.  In the meantime, he has spent hours creating a half pipe in their backyard.   A really tedious job, but how great it is!!  He did get some help.

 He is also working at the Temple!

 And, of course, getting in some beautiful surf time.

New Dog for Maria and Johnny

It is a lemon-drop beagle and a new friend for Bali the cat.  I think her name is Chica.  So cute!  I like the rug she is sitting on which Maria says she got at Amazon.  Nice!

Mary and Greg have a 50 Year Anniversary!

Masseys Come to Lake Almanor

They fly to Sacramento, Rent a Big Van, Drive to Lake Almanor through Chico.  They like to play the organ, scooter to the lake, play in the lake, paint pine cones, eat at Buffalo Chips and get cinnamon rolls at the Frostys at the miniature golf course.  Renting a boat on Labor Day is the favorite thing and they pretty much have the lake to themselves.

I made an extra bed in the office so sleeping was more comfortable than staying on the couches I think.  

We late tacos, hot dogs, hamburgers, peanut butter and meringue cookies, yogurt ice cream and the weather was near perfect.  No winds while they were here.  

They are the perfect guests, love having them come to visit.

Sleep

Lea Goes to BYU Hawaii

Lea says she loves being at BYU Hawaii.  Camber took pictures of her room, snorkeling at night, and views outside and in. 

Tripping in the Van...Maria and Johnny

Maria and Johnny set out to visit three State Parks (their ambition is to eventually visit them all?) go to the Silvergate Anderson Cabin, visit Johnny's sister in Utah, snap a picture of Ferrell's in Idaho Falls and visit cousins at Silvergate.  They have a lot of beautiful scenery pix on Maria's Facebook.  This is just a few showing the van Johnny has converted into their traveling abode.  Pretty nice!!