The Dilemma

Sent to Debbie in September after Marilyn had lived here for 4 months and her house was sold.

Debbie, I would like to try and explain one more time about the $15,000.  David was one who kept track of me after Richard died in bankruptcy and I had to take care of myself, sell my retirement home, and continue to work. Which I did till I was 79.  However, I never had benefits on those jobs.  He also kept track of Carole and realizing we would have problems in our old age he figured out a way to help us and that was to leave the money from the sale of his house to Carole and I.  He had discussed it with both Jeanne and Marilyn and they both volunteered that neither of them needed any help.  Jeanne has lots of property and Marilyn had money in the bank and a house free and clear.  

Dorothy had a separate account which had grown to over $250,000 and that was for her nieces and nephews and educating their children.  David thought the house would provide about $100,000.  He was the one person in the family who always found out where I was working for the government and called me on my birthday.  I really don’t think anyone else even realized what was going on in my life.  Thought I was rich I guess.

I lived with Linda and then James and then was able to buy the cabin in Lake Almanor which I had for 22 years.  Because I was in the mortgage business I knew who to go to for financing even though I was bankrupt.  I had a lifetime teaching degree, a securities license, an insurance license, a real estate license and I had already 16 years experience in the mortgage business..  I was going to do something and I received a loan and refinanced to better terms when I got the job with SBA.  I had a reverse mortgage on it so I could afford to live there even after I stopped working, but when the aortic stenosis was discovered I had to sell it and live where better medical was and the children.  Maria had already divorced and moved back to San Diego.

I could afford about two years of independent living but wasn’t expected to live so that did not matter except now I am still living and all my money is gone and Linda and Gary had always said, you use what money you have and then we will take you in when it is gone.  When I came to live at Treeo they were thinking they might even keep me here but due to selling their business which closes Friday I think that all changed and it is ok because I need to be back there for James and Kelsi.  Camber is not getting any better.  It is very sad.  James is struggling to keep it all together.

Now back to David.  He really thought Dorothy would die before he did.  He had called his insurance man who was his nephew Doug to put in the will about the house but he died before that happened I think though Carole thinks they did have the information but not a formal change.  At any rate David died and Dorothy went to an expensive retirement home and died later and it was after that the home was sold and the money sent out the way it was.

Jeanne and Steven immediately sent  $15,000 to Carole.  Steve even asked me, what if Marilyn won’t send you yours and I said, well, at least Carole will get the help she needs.  I talked to you and you said her children needed it, so I let it go.

But now Marilyn’s house is sold, she is set and I really thought you would realize I still need the $15,000.  My money is all gone and Linda is even having to pay for October because they are not ready for me till then.

That is the whole story though I do not know what Marilyn tells you, she changes her stories all the time.  I am sorry  she is having the dementia problems.  Mine has not hit yet.  If you still feel Marilyn deserves it and don’t see things as we do, I will respect that and not persist.  Otherwise it would be very helpful for me to receive the money as David intended.  

I really enjoyed you and Holly being here and it was so helpful to Marilyn.  I think she is enjoying it here and I know she likes having the meals and also people to talk to.  I can’t go with her to the Dentist on the 19th but Bobby said they would take her.  

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to write it all down and let you kind  of know what happened because I am not sure you do.   And Marilyn trusts you and whatever you say is what she will do and that is a good thing that she has someone who will do what is best for her.

Love to all of you,  Janet

PS. The answer came back No, it is Marilyn's inheritance from David. I explained again that they were settling the estate as they had to and even if Dick were alive, he would have received a portion, too.  It was not David's inheritance, it was a settling of the estate and he intended to help his sisters, now Marilyn's children.  Their attitude is it is Marilyn's money and she can choose to use it anyway she wishes.  In light of her now having $750,000 for the sale of her house makes no difference.  And the fact that many of us know what Dave's intention was, it makes no difference. Debbie texted me to stop talking to Marilyn about it and so I have but it has been hard for me to understand both of their attitudes and harder to forgive than I imagined.  

Especially since we had taken in Sherry when she was just out of high school and she lived with us and Richard helped her get a car and taught her a profession and she moved out when she could support herself and married and had Zach.  And then when the marriage went bad they moved back in our home and were there until Zach was 3 and with her profession she was able to move to Austin where she wanted to live.  We never asked Marilyn and Arky for any help but we never charged Sherry rent.  We treated her as one of our own and she was must appreciative, especially of all the help Richard gave her.  They never offered any help and I am not even sure they thanked Richard for all he did.  

In spite of the fact that they both know my money is gone as I had no benefits from all my years of work.  Marilyn said I was rich and very unaware of my working until I was 79 to support myself.  Very strange.  Debbie said Marilyn scrimped all her life and that is why she has money.  (In other words I piddled mine away).  Richard spent our money on the business but our home was not worth much more than hers but Richard borrowed on it and when he borrowed on our retirement home that was the end for me.  I had to sell and support myself.  I had a hard time forgiving that, too but I did.  He worked very hard but he was dedicated to his service to his clients that last situation he tried to save them from took all our money.  I understood but it was very hard for me, for years.  Debbie did send me a check for $1500 for all the help I did to get Marilyn in and settled etc, etc, etc.  I really needed it so I could pay off my dental bills, etc.  But I intend to pay Linda and Gary back for October over time and I just wish I had some burial money.  I am having a very time forgiving this.  Those of us that know the situation all have a hard time understanding both Marilyn and Debbie's attitude.  I am spending my thoughts on my digitizing and reading and trying to forgive by ignoring.

Sept 25, 2020