It is beautiful weather in San Diego and I am loving the springtime. However, I have been troubled for some time and not satisfied with my circumstances and not sure what to do about them.
We had such a challenge looking for a place for me to rent in the San Diego area. Finding something suitable for Sadie and I, that we could afford, and was a reasonable place to live for an 87 old lady who has a dog.
Quite miraculously this place was found in Rancho Bernardo, where I had not even thought of living, and it was perfect. So much light in the home, newly remodeled with a large covered patio and mature landscaping that had gardeners! Even a fireplace! And the real plus was that my furniture fit perfectly, room for every thing and to top it all off, room for all my books!!!! Photo albums and etc I was putting online, etc. It was a perfect location, very quiet and yet so close to everything I would ever want to go to. I even found great medical just 10 minutes away. My children were all within 20 to 30 minutes away. Meagan and her family were just living down the freeway close enough to visit often. The ward was close and people had been wonderful to me.
So why was I not happy, why was it so troubling to me, why was was it stressing me out? I was praying fervently for answers as to whether to renew the rental and if I didn't, where to go and why was I not satisfied with my situation?
And then one morning last week it was as clear to me as a bell. Go back to Utah and live at Treeo where Jeanne is. I could not believe the answer. I never wanted to go back to Utah. I loved living in San Diego after 21 years away. It was perfect here. I never wanted to live in a Senior Living Place, did I? I don't think I ever did. I loved my independence, my own home and yard. This place was so perfect, why wasn't it right? What was missing? When I told my son later, he immediately said, "People". Yes, I did not want to be alone anymore, did I. I wanted to be able to see and talk to people and yet I did not want to live in my children's homes and I had all my stuff I wanted to take with me. And then I realized I did not want to run a house anymore, it takes too much of my time, too much thought. Why did I think I wanted to do that. I really did not want to have to cook anymore. I loved it when I was working for SBA and was living in a hotel where I was serviced. And wouldn't it be fun to have one of my sisters in the same place and yet I could still have my own stuff?
It all seemed absolutely correct, why had I not chosen this before? I was so ceertain of the answer, I immediately called Treeo and was given a Ryan to talk to. I asked all the questions and he gave me all the answers. I then texted Linda and blew her away with my latest thoughts. She was surprised but offered to go up with me to check it out. I texted her back that I did not need to do that. I was familiar enough with it and I knew it was the right thing to do.
The next day Ryan called and gave me a virtual tour of the place and showed me rooms I could choose to live in on the first floor and have a doggie door and fenced area for Sadie, our own little patio. Could he hold it to the end of June? Not sure but asked and came back with the answer and arrangements to do so.
Linda was concerned I was making my mind up too fast. I texted Maria at 5 am and she came over and had lunch and I showed her the plans and, etc. Both of them really thought it was a good idea, actually. The same day James and Camber came over to take Kelsi to a track meet in Poway and me with them to watch. I shared the news with them and they thought it was a great idea, too. Although I must admit there was the thought that I had been neglected too much? I assured them that was not the case at all. Meagan was in Hawaii but I told her to call me as soon as she arrived home. She also was blown away by the decision and was disappointed to see me go but, too, could see the sensibility behind the decision. The fuarniture I could not take was being spoken for, and I began moving items I could not take to one side of the garage. And my mind was so at ease.
Thank you, Lord, for helping direct my life, once again.
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