Thursday, November 01, 2007

Dreams

I hate to go to sleep lately, the old nightmares of post Richard's death have returned. When I first starting having them Maria bought me "The Dream Catcher" so I could record my dreams and then analyze them. The dreams varied with time and place and people but were always variations of not being able to find my clothes, my purse, my car, my home or my way to wherever I was going. Not hard to analyze those kind of dreams but you wake up so exhausted. Usually I was alone in my dreams with strangers around me but sometimes I would converse with friends I hadn't seen for years and then they would disappear. One time my sisters were all dressed up ready to go somewhere and I couldn't find my clothes to get dressed so they finally left me. One time I had Lea in one hand and Jacob in the other and I was racing around with them trying to get somewhere? on time but never reaching our destination. Occasionally I would have what the Dream Catcher called "wish fulfillment dreams" but mostly they were dreams searching, searching through rain, up hills, through buildings, asking people I saw, always searching for something I had lost or just being lost...

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