Yesterday I was having one of my really gloomy days. This time of year especially I tend to reflect on my losses as well as my blessings. Richard passed away at Thanksgiving time in 1996 and real Christmas for Richard was gathering the family together at Park City and enjoying family within the confines of two rooms plus lots of skiing, and sharing snacks and chili together on the decks at the bottom of the hills. Then playing games and just having fun being together--no work, no leaving, just family for a whole week. So I tend to just want to zoom to the New Year and bypass Thanksgiving and Christmas and get past the sadness of being alone now.
So as I was feeling sorry for myself I happened to read an article about the plight of Afghan women and I really grieved for them, the sadness of their plight just consumed me. Their plight in life is so devastating that one by one they continually try to burn themselves to death, to escape their miserable life. I, who never cry, just can't stop crying as I think about them. I swear to myself I will never feel sorry for myself again.
It reminded me of an interesting article I read this past week. It is called A Surpassing Gift.
I quote from the Editorial page of the Church News, October 23, 2010 (my wedding anniversary, actually)
"Though it costs nothing, it will save us money.
It will add to our friendships and perhaps retrieve lost friends and family members.
It will lower our anxiety levels and allow us to concentrate more fully.
With it, we become more teachable, more easily entreated, more open to change and improvement.
It helps us forgive those who have wronged us, intentionally or accidentally.
It makes us more Godlike, for why should we remember to our detriment things we have forgiven?
It will strengthen us immeasurably.
We will seek to overcome our own flesh instead of dwelling on the weaknesses of those around us.
It will allow us to seek excellence with more dedication as we compete against ourselves instead of others.
In the broadest sense, it flattens our horizons; we see a broader view of reality that we will "know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32)
With all these attributes, this most valuable fare is available in such huge servings that it might be hard to swallow.
So what is it we speak of?
It is humility, a surpassing gift of God. Sometimes called "humble pie," it is a diet without calories that can be eaten for spiritual nutrition at breakfast, lunch and dinner. A decision to be more humble takes but an instant but opens a new lifetime path.
We can, as Alma 7:23 suggests; "be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive."
And then the article goes into all the unpleasantness that the opposite of humility, pride, brings into out life. When I am feeling sorry for myself, I am being full of pride and selfishness. I am not reflecting on my many blessings and feeling gratitude. No wonder I bring sadness to my life with such thoughts.
"Pride fills the crevices of the heart, dividing husbands and wives, families, neighbors, countries, states and nations. It creates glass ceilings that prevent spiritual and emotional maturity and nurses revenge and addiction. Pride can recruit those who have more to believe they are better. It taints some who have less to feel resentment; sometimes the poor are more prideful than the rich. Pride nurses the roots of racism and class and counterfeits self-esteem to our hurt...It seeks attention and recognition...Humility includes others; pride excludes others. In its ultimate manifestations, pride leads to slavery while humility leads to added confidence and freedom.
The conclusion of the article is:
Shall we not anticipate the Judgment Day by humbling ourselves now? During our morning prayers, let us indeed discipline our diet by swallowing our daily pride. Let us guard all day against letting it lurk into the silent fractures of our hearts, which should rather be filled by the healing love of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
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