Where Was Richard?

Last week Maria and Mitch were looking for Richard's Grave at the El Camino Memorial Park.  They called me and I gave them the directions I knew.  Finally I sent them pictures from our 2015 meeting there and they could see where it was located by the other buildings and such in the distance.

Strangely Maria was sitting right by it and Mitch said, "I am looking at it and it is not there, Grandma, do they ever take them out?"

He put down his pencil and felt it and then he began to pull away the long grass and mounds of dirt.

I notice in the upper right hand corner it looks like one above is also sinking into the ground.

I know we stopped digging for the vase as it kept getting buried long ago, now the tombstone, too?

I called the El Camino office and was immediately put with Rebecca who had been there for 21 years.  Richard was buried in 1996, 22 years ago.  She said she only knew of one other time that this had happened.  She apologized profusely and said she would send a crew out and do whatever needed to be done.  She did say that they had started using recycled water in January and there were more vitamins, etc in it and the grass was growing much more.  Mitch said it seemed very wet and soggy in that area.  She also said they were putting in a new system of maintenance which she thinks will prevent that happening again.  She also said she would call me and tell me what they find the problem is.  So far she has not called so I will make that call this week.

Thank goodness Mitch needed to write a paper about cemeteries or it might not have been discovered until when????  

She did say whenever you cannot find a plot immediately to come to the office or call their number and they will send someone out to find it for you.

For future reference, it is lot 167, space E and F (for me, too) in the Cumorah Lawn hill.  There is a beautiful large tree to the left of it.

Nico, The Second Youngest Great Grandchild

Meagan just sent me this happy picture of Nico.  Doesn't he look pleased to be riding this elephant, just like it was real.  Such a joy, that boy.

Sharing Thoughts from Maria, James and Linda about their Father on Father's Day, 2018

Maria worked closely with Richard as his assistant for several years and she knew best about his business troubles and how he struggled to make everything work during that last fiasco which destroyed his financial world and probably his life.  She wrote a beautiful long talk about Richard which is in his memoirs.  Let me share just the ending for this Father's Day.  She was living in another city at this time.

"I never worked for Dad after all that, it was pretty disheartening to be a part of such a difficult time, it caused us a lot of stress not only because we worked there but seeing how difficult it was for Mom and Dad.  Dad tried hard to shield Mom from how bad things were but she knew.  I wrote in my journal one day during that time that Mom had started crying to me because of all the problems that were going on and the frustration she felt toward Dad. it really scared me because my mom never cries, in fact, I only saw her cry one other time in my life.

Dad did his best to make the project work, but too many things were working against him, he didn't have a chance.  Constantly putting more money in so they could get it done and get out.  Those who were involved with him, his investors, those who stayed close to what was going knew it also.  Even through all that, even through the money the investors lost, and the fiasco of the project, his investors, his clients, still think the world of him.  Once the project started, there was no quitting, it had to be seen through to the end.  He couldn't have walked away if he wanted to, there were so many loose ends that needed to be tied up for any of the partners to walk away, it wasn't just Dad, they were all stuck like glue to the bitter end.  It was definitely these projects that financially ruined Dad.

Interestingly enough though, the worse things got, the more Dad read and shared his insights and testimony.  When I was having a difficult time with money and he felt bad that he had none to give, he had great wisdom to share instead.  He always stayed positive in his views and was a wonderful example of perseverance, integrity, and courage.  

My Dad may have died penniless, but he was wealthy to me, wealthy in all the things that mattered."

I found this from a talk that James gave in 2001.  I think it is beautiful the way he talked about Richard's testimony.  The talk was on Testimony.

"In preparing for this talk I thought of my Dad who passed away a few years ago.  He lived a successful life in business and as a father and as a husband.  He enjoyed a full life of boats, cars, dream homes, and dream vacations. Yet toward the end of his life, his business was not as successful.  His net worth was dismal and his car was less than desirable. Yet I believe his last years he spent reflecting on his life.  Wondering at times if he had done all he could.  Wondering at times if he had accomplished all that he should have. 

 A few years before he passed away he was called as a Temple worker.  He told me when he was first called he was concerned that he didn't have time, with his business being less than optimal, but he had never turned down a call.  While at the Temple often his thoughts were focused on his life.  The example he had lived, the people whose life he had touched and served.  He was a great missionary who bared his testimony often. I think of what he left and what he took to the other side.  He left his testimony.  And he took his testimony.  And today he is still busy about his Father's business."

Linda gave a wonderful Father's Day talk a few years ago and included a little about Richard's background so I am including it as well as her thoughts about him to show how it probably influenced how he became the charitable and kind person he was.

"To give a little background of my Dad, his own father passed away when he was just 11 years old.  He was the youngest of 3 brothers and his mother worked very hard to raise 3 boys alone.  Money was scarce and life was hard.  I think that at some point in my father's life he made a decision that his own children would never have to experience the same hardships he did. And he did accomplish that goal.  My father worked very hard to provide his family with the things that he so desired as a child. But at the same time, it was also very important to him that we knew that the material things we enjoyed in this life in no way made us better or worse than someone else.   I received very few scoldings from my father but I do remember him being very disappointed in me when in my youth I didn't want to give someone a ride to the dance.  He made it very clear that as long as I was living in his house and driving his cars that I would give this person and any other person that called a ride to the dance.  He was a very generous and non-judgemental person.  If we spoke unkindly about someone's behavior or looks he would point out that we don't know enough about that person's background to make assumptions about this person and the things he does or doesn't do. 

 He was never too busy to help someone who needed him and I never heard him speak unkindly of anyone.  He owned his own business and often hired people not because they would be an asset to him and his company but because he could provide an opportunity to train this person and give them some skills they couldn't get somewhere else.  I remember one young man that he hired who had no desirable work skills.  But my father gave him a car to drive and simple tasks and errands that he could perform.  This young man was not very responsible and at one point he even stole from my Dad.  But my father never got angry or talked poorly about him, and he did not let him go.  He knew he was a troubled youth without a father or anyone to guide him, and he saw a chance for him to make a difference in someone's life.  His attitude was that if someone stole from him, they probably needed it more than he did.  

My Dad was a great example of a person with charity.  He was always more concerned with other's needs than his own."

My Husband on Father's Day, 2018

I guess it is natural I would marry a man who was also kind, caring and gentle.  I used to tell my Mom I wanted to marry someone like Dad and she would say, well, it takes time to become that person, they have lots to learn even when they get married.

Nevertheless,  the thing that attracted me to Richard was his caring way and how kind he was to everyone.  From the night we met he made me feel that I was so important to him and he was not letting me go to anyone else and he would take care of me.  That was that. 

Six weeks later he made it happen, we married.  It was not until he had his first heart attack that I realized I could not be "taken care of" forever, I needed to grow up and be a partner and less his burden, not make it more.  He used to always call the babysitter and do anything else I did not want to do.  For instance, scrub the kitchen floor. 

 

Of course, I did the yard work, he did not like that.  And I was a good wife, who did all the things wives in the fifties were expected to do, much more than most think is necessary today, but he took care of me and tried always to do what I asked of him.  Actually, he always used to take my car and get it gassed, even when I had been a career woman for years.  He was always kind and of service.  Resting on the couch? and I needed something, he would willingly go...always of service.

I surely learned to take care of myself, 22 years now...but always, even in those last years when things were so hard and I was not a happy camper a lot of the time and I gained so much weight doing work I did not enjoy in the mortgage business and seeing our world fall apart with the business disasters, he would tell me he loved me, most every day.

 In the Temple, those last three or four years of his life whenever we would chance to meet in our service there, he would immediately whisper in my ear how beautiful I was or tell me he loved me.  He was a caring man.  And he was a caring father, a good father, a good example of work ethics and faithfulness and dutifulness.  He cared so for his Mother and his brother's family and his office workers and anyone else in need.

My Father on Father's Day, 2018

My Dad was such a gentle man, he did not say too much but was always there to listen or just be there.  In these pictures he would have been about 57 or 58 even though he looks older.  He and Mom had driven to be with me after I broke up with Bill in San Diego in 1959.

He loved sports and when I was a junior my friends and I had boyfriends on the football team and he would drive us to games that were far away (in Montana everything is far away) and put up with us.  My friends all thought he was amazing.  I think it was a tournament in Billings, maybe basketball, and we stayed overnight in a hotel and he actually surpervised us.  He did not have a friend with him or Mom.  Just him.  And I am one of six children.

You can tell he was not a Californian, so white.  But he was never overweight but he never exercised like the guys do today, just hunted and fished and often walked to work.

Hey, how about that white glove effect, we often wore the gloves and that is a dress I made.  I made most of my clothes for awhile in my life.   What a dear man with many gifts and abilities but always humble and kind and thoughtful of others.

Sadie

Sadie has just got to be the best dog in the world.  I have hardly had to use the leash at all when we are not walking.  She stays around the yard unless the people in back of me are out.  She does like to visit them as well as their dog.  Last week when I had to retrieve her so I could go to the movies she was not outside with their dog and the lady of the house, she was inside with the man of the house.  

She loves to supervise my watering and gardening and she sits and watches and follows me from front to back.  I know it is a big temptation when dogs are walking by to go out and greet them but she has learned if I remind her to come back or just sit and watch, and even when little children are talking to her she will just sit and watch.  She is not a barker and sometimes she will just sit and wait for me to let her in without uttering a sound or occasionally give a little cough to let me know she is there.  She follows me from room to room and when I want to stay up in the living room for awhile even though it is her bedtime she hesitates to leave me unless I tell her it is OK to go to bed without me.  If she is napping and I settle down on the couch she is immediately there to sleep with me.  I don't know how she hears the slightest sound but she does.

I am sure she understands so many sentences and if not she will cock her head and just listen intently trying to understand what I am saying.  She always looks very sympathetically if I am sad.  I often toy with the idea of getting a kitten but somehow I just can't make that decision.  But I am so glad Sadie is in my life.

Alas, her groomer's phone is not working anymore, what to do, where to go...a bad groomer around here is not guaranteed by any means.

Leah Graduates from Torrey Pines High

Now these pictures of Leah are much better.  She has the college name on the back of her hat.  She is off to BYU Hawaii!

Posing with her beautiful Mom.

And her handsome Dad.

And Mom and Dad!

And Grandparents Mary and Greg Carlston.

And Siblings Kelsi, Jimmy and Jacob.

Looks like a happy day!!  Congratulations to Leah!!!

Kelsi Graduates from Sixth Grade

So these are not very good pictures, taken from such a distance, but it is what was on Instagram today.  Hopefully a better one might get placed on there,  So Kelsi is off to Junior High next year!!!  The school she went to in Solana Beach was really a nice one.  I was so impressed every time I have been there.

Richard's Patriarchal Blessing

 I thought it was interesting that Richard was always of so much service to everyone and he enjoyed it and the second to last paragraph of his blessing addresses that very matter.  I scanned some things for Linda today and she asked me if I could scan them into my blog.  Yes, I can but I cannot make them a large as I would like.  So it may be hard to read. 

No More Itching!!!

Finally after six months of itching on the head, face, neck and upper chest, no more itching.  I had been on a steroid but it obviously did not solve the problem.  I went to my GP Dr. Salehi and asked her if she could get me in to the dermatologist in Chico earlier than August.  She immediately called and I had an appointment the next day!!!

Dear Maryanne drove me down, I get too stressed going to Chico alone, I just do not know the town well enough and I hate driving the windin canyon.  I so appreciate that she will go with me.  We ate at Chili's before coming back and had back ribs!

Anyone I saw Dr. Buttolph in the same office as Dr. Saejan as he had a cancellation.  He talked so fast and had an assistant on the tablet who wrote what he said and then they printed it out for me and gave me a list of recommended products.

So, yes, I do have eczema, it is the seborrheic dermatitis which is like a fungal infection -- dandruff.  He put me on two prescriptions: the topical steroid Clobetasal which is a solution I put on my scalp twice a day (just where it itches) and a prescription shampoo I use three times a week and wash my face and hair and he said when I wash my hair I should rinse it so it goes down the drain instead of on my shoulders and body.   He switched me to Zyrtec instead of Benadryl for the itching.   The redness has already started to go away.  So the dandruff shampoo and the other steroid did not work...wonder why.

But the steroid worked immediately and  I have not had to use the Zyrtec for itching at all.  After six months I think that is amazing!!!  We go back on July 9th.  Ha, I just noticed they have Robin Crockett on my instruction sheet as my name.  I better call them!!!

Oh, and the red skin syndrome...he says that is after years on steroids, not weeks.  So toss all the information away.

And and the Dr said rash from foods is not necessarily a part of this disease but if food makes you make out in a rash...stop eating it!!!  It is an individual thing...

They did give me a list of all the sensitive skin products than they recommend plus detergents to wash your clothes in....

Maria and Johnny's Neighborhood

Birdrock is so beautiful!

Seminary Graduation at Torrey Pines High

Here they are posing at the Hardy Home.

Dyno Dave

My nephew Dyno Dave is an expert on Dinosaurs and has tours at Makoshika State Park at Glendive, Montana.  Here he is showing a recent donation to their Museum.

Yikes--Withdrawal from Topical Steroids?

So the Derm gave me a topical synthetic steroid for my eczema...beware of using too prolonged and then stopping because it causes Red Skin Syndrome and you think your eczema is spreading.  You can get hives, rashes, and what looks like eczema and it continues on and on and gets worse and more itchy than what you began with!!!  And the doctors do not warn you.

There is actually a grass roots organization called ITSAN which addresses the problem and I am totally saturated with all there is to read about it.

And guess what foods make it worse--cow's milk, eggs, soy products, gluten, chocolate, nuts, fish and shellfish.

And which can help--apples, blueberries, cherries, broccoli, spinach, kale and probiotic foods like yogurt, sourdough bread, miso soup, naturally fermented pickles, soft cheese such as Gouda, sauerkraut, kefir, tempeh.

What else can trigger--high sugar foods like cakes, soda, some smoothies, fast food items like burgers.

I think the only things I have not given up by now is eggs!!

Sooooo what now...I am using the moisturizers, and oral antihistamine (Benadryl) and guess I need to change my laundry soap.  I do not suppose I can get rid of dog dander with Sadie around.  And do not wear clothes that irritate (stick with cotten).

So this affects the under 2's and the elderly the most and because our skin is so thin it is even worse, it gets inside the skin and causes problems.  You should not stop taking cold turkey? is a debate.

So not sure nuts caused the eczema but certainly makes it worse...so what did cause it, they do not know.  Curing it is even more of a guess but steroids in any form I think it is best to avoid or only use a little and not the over the counter ones either.  I used several Cortizone before I went to the Dr and got theTriamcinolene.

Anyway looking at the pictures of cases, mine is very mild...so far.

Yikes--Withdrawal from Topical Steroids?

So the Derm gave me a topical synthetic steroid for my eczema...beware of using too prolonged and then stopping because it causes Red Skin Syndrome and you think your eczema is spreading.  You can get hives, rashes, and what looks like eczema and it continues on and on and gets worse and more itchy than what you began with!!!  And the doctors do not warn you.

There is actually a grass roots organization called ITSAN which addresses the problem and I am totally saturated with all there is to read about it.

And guess what foods make it worse--cow's milk, eggs, soy products, gluten, chocolate, nuts, fish and shellfish.

And which can help--apples, blueberries, cherries, broccoli, spinach, kale and probiotic foods like yogurt, sourdough bread, miso soup, naturally fermented pickles, soft cheese such as Gouda, sauerkraut, kefir, tempeh.

What else can trigger--high sugar foods like cakes, soda, some smoothies, fast food items like burgers.

I think the only things I have not given up by now is eggs!!

Sooooo what now...I am using the moisturizers, and oral antihistamine (Benadryl) and guess I need to change my laundry soap.  I do not suppose I can get rid of dog dander with Sadie around.  And do not wear clothes that irritate (stick with cotten).

So this affects the under 2's and the elderly the most and because our skin is so thin it is even worse, it gets inside the skin and causes problems.  You should not stop taking cold turkey? is a debate.

So not sure nuts caused the eczema but certainly makes it worse...so what did cause it, they do not know.  Curing it is even more of a guess but steroids in any form I think it is best to avoid or only use a little and not the over the counter ones either.  I used several Cortizone before I went to the Dr and got theTriamcinolene.

Anyway looking at the pictures of cases, mine is very mild...so far.

Trevor Also Called on a Mission and Leaving in October

Trevor, the grandson of my friend Jean in our Clear Creek Branch, is leaving for a mission in Mexico in October.  The reason this is so interesting to me is Maryanne, a friend from Clear Creek Branch, had a granddaughter leaving the same month as Sarah, and now Jean, has a grandson leaving the same month as Jacob.  It's a small world, after all...

Stephanie Diede visits her Cousins Linda and Maria

Steph is the daughter of my sister Carole and our girls knew each other when they were toddlers and then later when Steph and her husband and children lived down in Escondido for a short time and then later the girls started getting together at the Anderson Cabin in Silvergate and visiting back and forth in Montana or down here.  I am happy they have stayed connected.

As ususal when Stephanie comes down, she and Maria have lots of fun.

Mitch Proposes!

Mitch and Bahia are engaged after a romantic serenading by Mitch to Bahia at the Beach!  Such a darling couple.

Jacob Receives His Mission Call

Jacob read his Mission Call Letter to a large group assembled at the Hardy Home.  He will be going to the Buenos Aires South Mission in Argentina!!!

Flowers Are Planted!!!

 We made our annual trek out to Martin's Nursery and bought a lot of flowers.  I did not get any of the hanging baskets this year.  Just filled my own and everything looks beautiful.  Wish the wind would stop blowing, seems to be more than usual this year.

We also went this to Walmart twice this week and got some garden soil and I put it on top of the mound in front and seeing if I can find enough catmint and white stuff to transplant and fill the whole hill--I have about half done!!

Eden Graduates from Preschool

So sweet and Nico joins in.

Well, she will be a beautiful Mermaid when she grows up!

Mom and Dad are so proud and so is Eden.

Is that the Peace sign?  Meagan is a beautiful Mommy.

Boots, Boots, Boots

Kristi sent me these pictures today.  She knows I love boots.  They are all ready with their jean jackets and boots for their annual trip to the Family Ranch in Wyoming.  I think they look darling.

Kate

Molly

Brynn

+Ryan

Charli is One Year Old

I missed the big party held at Linda's house for Charli.  Amy and Joe and Charli are now living in Carlsbad while looking for a home of their own.  Looks like Joe will be working on Pt Loma, have not heard all the details, but very exciting.  

In Bloom!!!

I can't believe it, this rhododendron has bloomed.  It has only happened once before in all the years I have been here.  The only thing I can think of that I may have done right is last year I bought all that red mulch and I just read that they will not bloom if they dry out and maybe for the first time they stayed with moisture cuz of all the mulch???!!!

And this was my crabapple tree before the wind blew all the blossoms off.