The Mourning Gardens--Mid-July 2011

Sherry's Mourning Garden

Laurie's Mourning Garden

John's Mourning Gardens

The Memorial Mourning Gardens were begun in Spring 2004 after the death of John and added to after the deaths of Sherry and Laurie--all cousins who died in their early to late 40's.

Matt began moving dirt and rocks and that was the beginning.  Considering the gardens grow under the shade of large pine trees and over the pine tree roots and are also the delicacy of the roving deer, rabbits, and squirrels and the fact that they get very little sun, they are doing quite well.  Plus there is only about a four month growing season.  The lilies are just beginning to bloom and the daffodils are already gone for the season.

Anna Karenina--Again!

I just watched the Masterpiece Theater version of Anna Karenina which was produced in two episodes in 2001.  I loved this version.  I must have seen four or five by now and, of course, read the book.  I think I need to read the book again.  I just read one opinion that it is the best novel ever written.  I must think so, I never tire of watching the story or reading the book.

Ad for Masterpiece Theater version:
Leo Tolstoy's powerful tale of love and marriage in imperial Russia comes to Masterpiece Theatre in a stunningly modern adaptation of Anna Karenina.

Completed in 1877, Anna Karenina was not the book Tolstoy intended to write. He had been working on a novel about Peter the Great, designed to follow up his spectacular success with War and Peace. But the project went nowhere, and Tolstoy's thoughts turned increasingly to an incident that haunted him: A neighbor's mistress had thrown herself under a train after being jilted by her lover.

From this tragic seed grew a modern epic of sex, duty, marriage, and moral regeneration that many critics consider the greatest novel ever written.

Tolstoy's themes are particularly resonant today, notes executive producer George Faber of Company Television in Britain: "Anna Karenina isn't concerned with observing the minutiae of social etiquette, like Jane Austen, nor with righting social injustices, like Dickens. It's about raw, often uncontrollable passions, emotional and sexual betrayal, mixed-up people with mixed-up lives. It offers no easy solutions or simple moral judgments."

A Red Rose

 

First bloom on the rose bush I planted this year. Lillies will be blooming soon!

We Were the Mulvaneys

I finished "We Were the Mulvaneys"--at times it was a hard book to read, a family not having the tools they needed to deal with the sometimes tragic realities of life.

The Mulvaneys, a family living in the small, rural town of Mt. Ephraim, New York, during the later part of the 20th century, are the perfect family: four kids, the owners of a successful roofing business, and a high social status. We Were the Mulvaneys tells the tale of the demise of this perfect family—an incident that is hushed up in town and never spoken of again. It is this incident that shatters the family fabric with tragic consequences.--Wikepedia

It is a book where you continually think "if only"--if only she had done this, if only he had felt this, if only she had said this.  Unfortunately there are many "if only" moments in our life because we are not equipped with the right thoughts, the correct understandings, the truth, the correct values, the strength, the compassion, the love, the tenderness--all the basic things we need to navigate the relationships, careers, marriages, events, etc. of our life.  That is why I am so thankful I have been anchored in a "trust in God" belief.  Without it, I would not have been able to muddle through the many personal tragedies and difficulties or even appreciate the many blessings of my life.  I could have been broken so many times or too full of fear to move on...

I was thinking about the moments in my life that have become indelible in my mind.  Little vignettes that are always there for instant recall and feelings, such as:

...being helped down from a tree by my brother when I was about 4 or 5
...standing in front of my Daddy and singing a well-known church hymn with my family in our living room when I was just a tot
...being frozen with fear when a "bum" came to our front door
...riding on the back of our new tricylce with my sister Marilyn when I was about 5
...sharing hard-to-get bubble gum with friends in WWll
...being interviewed for Cougarettes when I was in college
...stranded at the bottom of an icy hill in South Pass when I was in college
...watching a dead boy being pulled from the creek when I was in grade school
...being thrown from side to side in a car that was out of control when I was a sophmore  in high school
...sobbing uncontrollably as they lowered the casket of Marilyn's boyfriend Claude
...Richard telling me he loved me
...being told my Dad had passed away
...seeing Richard wave at me from the upstairs window as I was doing yard work and hearing him say "Your children need you" in a very gentle but persuasive way
...watching my husband die in Maria's house
...hearing over the phone that my son John "did not make it"
...receiving the premonition that James and Cambers  first born was out of danger
...receiving the premonition that James was going to have a life threatening accident
...helping to dress my mother in the morgue
...being sealed to my husbnd and son John in the Temple
...watching my husband helplessly as he had a heart attack in 1970
,,,having the Dr tell the anesethist to "put her out" after the nurse complained they didn't have the right kind of sutures needed (after James was born)
...talking to a friend just before I left my Rancho Barnardo home, after giving the key to the realtor
..feeling so overwhelmed as I looked at all the boxes of files in our garage (after my husband passed away)
...being alone in the office with puppy Bandido trying to make a decision as to whether I could leave unfinished vital office work to make my commitment to be at the Temple--so overwhelmed and defeated
..feelings of despair as I wrestled with my financial situation and having James call at just that moment, with hope
...crying to Maria as I related John's attitude toward my buying my Lake Almanor house
...being with Linda in the delivery room when Gary was out of town
...looking at Maria in such agony just before they did a cesarean on her
,,,talking to a lady at Bank of America as she told me on the phone "that $3500 is yours, come and get it"
...having baby Meagan reach her arms out to me as soon as Jennifer opened the door of their little UCSD apartment


Oh, there are so many moments like this when you have no pictures to help you recall  but they are strongly etched in your mind, never to be forgotten because of your helplessness in the situation, your overwhelming grief or pain, or your great joy.

I love the saying, "Life is fragile, handle it with prayer."  So true.

Books and Reunion

Why do I keep selecting books I have already read???  I thought "The Brave" was a new book by Nicholas Evans but alas, I read it while in San Diego, how quickly I forget.   I will turn the audio off and look for a new bedtime book.  I have read all of Evans books, I wish there were more.  They all take place in Montana though he is an English man.  I just read about his mushroom poisening in 2008 and how it has changed his life.  Has to have dialysis and needs a kidney transplant.  I was just looking at some mushrooms in my yard yesterday and wondering how people knew what was poisenous.  Evidently you can make life changing mistakes by not knowing.

But I will keep reading "We Were the Mulvaneys" by Joyce Carol Oates.  She is an amazing author and I found this book in Tennessee at Goodwill.  What a great place to buy books.

The temp has been up the last few days but thanks to the pine trees my home stays cool and I love the time around 2 or 3 in the morning when it is so cool I need to pull the comforter up around me and really snuggle in.  But will I ever sleep all night ever again?  I doubt it.  I sleep, I wake, I blog, I watch TV, I read, I sleep, I wake, and so the cycle goes all through the night.

I talked for a long time this evening with Myrna, that is always fun.  We are both missing our High School Reunion tonight.  That would be the 60th of Dawson County High School in Glenidve.  It is a long way and not convenient to get to and no family there anymore so we both opted to stay in cool California.  Hope someone fills us in and all the happenings and who was there...and not there.

Letters to God

So enjoyed watching "Letters to God" on Netflix today.  Story of a boy with cancer, an alcoholic, a widow, etc. etc.  Very well done.  Writing letters to God is a good way of praying.

A heartfelt tale of inspiration, hope and redemption, Letters to God is the story of what happens when one boy’s walk of faith crosses paths with one man’s search for meaning—the resulting transformational journey touches the lives of everyone around them.

Dysfunctional Families

Last night I was listening to "Townies" a memoir by Andre Dubus III who wrote "House of Sand and Fog".
I really like 'House of Sand and Fog'.

I did not like 'Townies".  I don't know whether he just exaggerates or what but if not he had the must dysfunctional parents, none of which can be excused by lack of income or having to work and raise children at the same time, after all,  what is new about that?  Most people still try and teach their children the basics of living a good life and being responsible. I turned it off.  I will never know if his parents were really as bad as he made them sound or not.

Why could I read about Jeannette Wall's dysfunctional parents in the "The Glass Castle" and not his?  I don't know but anyway, turned the book off.

Movies and Ice Cream

Tuesday Maryanne and I saw "Larry Crowne" in Susanville.  It was very enjoyable.  After we had a quick taco at Taco Bell (I like the fresco ones) and then did a little shopping in Walmart. 

After I returned home the UPS brought our new Cuisenart ice cream maker and I had everything needed to try the Favorite Ice Cream from the Family Recipes.  The container had to be frozen overnight though so early in the morning I tried it and voila, it worked!!  Very good and I didn't need the Rock Salt I had bought in Susanville.  Since I had cream left over I tried a different Chocolate Malt Ice Cream as well--but here again, it needed to be frozen overnight.  Wow, it works though.  I didn't like the recipe as well as the last one I tried though ,that was more like my cho chos.  I will need to remember that.

Wednesday Michael drove to Sacramento to spend time with his friend and spend the weekend with his Mom and siblings.  I listened to "The Hand that First Held Mine:" by Maggie O'Farrell.  I had listened to it most of the night but kept falling asleep and couldn't follow it.  When you stay awake it really is quite a novel and I will for sure check out more of her books.  She is another Irish author who is now living in London and thus the story took place there.  Interesting that I have several favorite Irish women authors.

The verdict came in Tuesday on Casey Anthony--Not Guilty.  She knows what really happened, how can she live with that???  They say she is a psychopath though and evidently they can live with a lot of bad things.  She will probably get rich by writing a book or doing a movie--will be interesting to see what happens to her next and if the truth ever comes out.

Oh, yes, the daisies that usually come out by Memorial Day, finally bloomed, so I changed my blog pix.  These are wild flowers, that come and go at will with little water, at least I never water them.  It has been very warm the last few days but always cool under my pines.

Oh, yes, there was gluten revenge on me Wednesday for all the hot dogs, hamburgers and pizza I had over the 4th--good thing I am staying home for a few days...and what a tummy ache.

Happy Birthday America!

I fully intended on going to the Chester parade and find Maryanne but I slept in!!!  I wanted to finish "The Age of Innocence" and so read for about 3 hours in the middle of the night,.  I guess I need my sleep more than I used to.

Anyway I enjoyed a lazy morning listening to more of my Bonhoeffer book and then I was curious about how the LDS Church fared in WW ll.  Lo and behold there is a new book out about just that thing!!  Then I find the same author wrote a book in 2009 about being "In Harms Way" during the war.  It is on line so I liked reading about the Saints and some of their stories.  I concluded you are much safer in the small towns and rural areas during a war rather than in the city, of course.  I also concluded the Soviet army that took over after the war was as much, if not more dangerous, as the Nazis..  One story that interested me was this:

In the first few weeks of 1945, the members of the Danzig Branch discussed what they should do as the Red Army approached the city. Branch President Willy Horn had received a letter from Paul Langheinrich (second counselor to the mission leader in Berlin) encouraging the Saints to evacuate the city right away and head west (which some branch members had already done). From Sister Eichler’s recollection:


When Brother Horn finished reading the letter, . . . he [said that he thought that Heavenly Father would protect us from all the terrors of the war, if we had enough faith in him. . . . He asked us to form a circle with the chairs. . . . We all knelt by the chairs, and Brother Horn offered a very humble and long prayer. When he was finished, he . . . told us to trust in the Lord and to return home with peace in our hearts—all would be well. A week later we heard that some of the members did not listen to his counsel but . . . left for the west. . . . Those of us who stayed behind experienced much agony and hardship.

 It would seem that Willy Horn’s inspiration may have been in error on that occasion. In reality, those who rejected his recommendation and left the city right away were spared great hardship. Those who stayed suffered. There were disagreements on the issue even between spouses. For example, Brother Eichler decided that his family should remain in Danzig, though his wife did not agree.

I think the above story illustrates the point that you should follow the direction of your leaders and not take it upon yourself to receive inspiration counter to that for those who you are serving.  I think Willy Horn did a great disservice to his branch by directing them counter to what they had been advised to do.

In another escape story as a family wound themselves through tunnels the wife wanted to follow a different route than her husband.  The daughter who was behind her mother told her Mom she should follow Dad as he had the Priesthood.  They did and they were safe.  If they had gone the other direction they would have been destroyed by fire.  The daughter said it was a testimony to her to always follow the Priesthood and their instruction.

It is interesting to me that these books are being written 66 years after the happenings!!!  Obviously other people are still as curious as I am about what happened in WW ll.  It was obvious from the Bonhoeffer book that the people just did not know what was going on by their government and they trusted to much and gave up one freedom after another until it was too late.

Had a sweet call the other night from a boyfriend from the 50's!  Nice we can still be friends after all this time.  He said he has very happy memories of me.  Nice to hear as I edge closer and closer to 80 years old!!  Who ever thought we would be this old and still feel like '20 something' most of the time????

Oh, yes, I celebrated the birthday of America with another special burger dinner from Michael and the fireworks on the Peninsula.  Unfortunately, I thought they were some of the least exciting fireworks I have ever seen!  The Macy's fireworks on TV are so much more fun and with music to boot!!!  Happy Birthday, America!

Catching Up on the Classics

The last two days I chose to read the classic "The Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton.  I read it on my "Library to Go".  I thoroughly enjoyed it and yesterday watched the film version made in 1993, thanks to Netflix.

.
I think the characters chosen to play the parts were perfect for their roles.  Daniel Day-Lewis as Newbold Archer and Michelle Pfeiffer as Countess Ellen Odessa and Winona Ryder a May Welland.

I actually watched the movie before I finished the book this morning.  Michael queried  that "Wouldn't that ruin the book for me?"  Actually, no, I still like to read the book whether I have seen the movie or not.

Question though, I would like to know why it ended as it did?  Why did he walk away????   He was only 57...which meant they both still had a lot of life and love in them...

Michael, the Gourmet Cook

Yesterday Michael and I reviewed the video "You Are Doing It Wrong?" on Chow.  This is one of the channels received on Roku.  The demonstration Michael was interested in was on making a burger.

He then proceeded to make the best burger I have ever had!!!  He loves to take his time and really does a great job.  It had all kinds of things in it...  I am really enjoying his cooking since I hate to take the time to cook.

Now we just need the ice cream maker!!!  I will do that.

Quotes from Dietrich Bonhoeffer--hung by the Nazis on April 9, 1945

We watched a documentary about Deitrich Bonhoeffer today.  I had no idea Hitler demanded allegiance from the churches and changed them totally.  There are several movies about Bonhoeffer.  I can't believe I had never heard about him.    He was hung by the Nazis just days before the liberation by the Yanks of the prisoners in German prisons.

These are some of his many quotes that have lived on after him.  There are also books of his letters and poems.

 "0nly he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes.”

“Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy.”

 “First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."

It is the nature, and the advantage, of strong people that they can bring out the crucial questions and form a clear opinion about them. The weak always have to decide between alternatives that are not their own.”

The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.”

“The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to h...”

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”

"One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons.”

“If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure.”

 "The morning prayer determines the day."

"Prayer is not just about opening your heart. It means rather to find the way to God and talk to him, if your heart is full or empty."

 "But the Christian also knows that he not only cannot and dare not be anxious, but there is no need for him to be so."

"Praying certainly does not mean simply pouring out one’s heart. It means, rather, finding the way to and speaking with God, whether the heart is full or empty. No one can do that on one’s own. For that one needs Jesus Christ."

The prison doc who attended his execution wrote, “I was most deeply moved by the way this extraordinary, lovable man prayed, so resigned and so certain that God heard his prayer.”

Bonhoeffer, the Man Who Stood Up to Hitler

I am currently listening to this book on my "Library to Go" and it is fascinating!!!

Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy: A Righteous Gentile Vs. The Third Reich  by Eric Metaxas 

From the New York Times bestselling author of Amazing Grace, a groundbreaking biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, one of the greatest heroes of the twentieth century, the man who stood up to Hitler. A definitive, deeply moving narrative, Bonhoeffer is a story of moral courage in the face of the monstrous evil that was Nazism. After discovering the fire of true faith in a Harlem church, Bonhoeffer returned to Germany and became one of the first to speak out against Hitler. As a double-agent, he joined the plot to assassinate the Fuhrer, and was hanged in Flossenberg concentration camp at age 39. Since his death, Bonhoeffer has grown to be one of the most fascinating, complex figures of the 20th century. Bonhoeffer presents a profoundly orthodox Christian theologian whose faith led him to boldly confront the greatest evil of the 20th century, and uncovers never-before-revealed facts, including the story of his passionate romance. 
 
What an intelligent, exciting and sincere man and I like that the author quotes from many letters, etc. in telling his story.  Now I wish I had the book so I would remember it better.