Bandido only!

This blog is especially for Kelsi who wants to see Bandido!  Bandido poses for a picture.

Bandido loves to dig a hole and sit in the cool dirt when the sun is very hot.

Happy Endings Only, please!

I have found myself doing these three things over and over in the last few months:

If I am watching a recorded movie and I come to a part I don't like (such as children in danger, etc) I click ahead till I come to a safe part to make sure all ends well.

If I am watching TV and come to a part I don't like such as someone being demoralized or badly hurt, I switch to another movie.

If I am reading a book and a character I like is in trouble or something is happening I don't like, I go to the end of the book to see if there is a happy ending. If not, I don't finish the book.

So what is that all about??? Can I only handle happy endings at this juncture in my life or is that my way of always finding joy in my life?

President Thomas S. Monson

I have always been aware of President Thomas S. Monson's tender side and his great love of service to the widows. I was not aware of how young he was as he accepted responsible callings. Another thing of interest is his uncanny perfect memory. Could you name all the squares on the Monopoly board in perfect order? 

What a Wimp!

On the way in to vote today, there was a talk show on public radio about how honest we should be in our everyday life. One psychiatrist who had worked in Washington D C for years says it is absolutely mandatory if you are to have a satisfying, intimate relationship with another. He said the problem in our culture is not so much the 53% divorces, but the 47% marriages, some of which are very bad marriages with a lot of deception. He said, "If you honestly relate to someone, there will be ups and downs but you forgive and become better friends or partners because of the trust and belief in one another."

Another writer had the opinion that if a little deception is better for the relationship and doesn't harm anyone, do it. She said there were some things she wish she hadn't been told. And, of course, the discussion on whether you honestly tell someone the truth when they ask if they look fat in their pants, etc. Do we really want someone to be totally honest with us if it is going to make us feel badly?

I know my husband kept certain things from me because he didn't want me to worry or to rethink and complain about what he was doing business wise. He didn't lie, he just omitted. Keep peace at all costs is some people's attitude.

After I voted I decided to eat some of my favorite Mex food, but they were closed so I thought I would try the hamburger at the "50's Diner". Surely that could only be good, it should be their specialty. NOT! The hamburger looked ok but the meat tasted terrible (like old) and was not as grilled brown as it should have been. The fries were greasy. I vowed never to come back and did not finish the meal... When she came and asked me how everything was, what did I say? Did I tell her what I thought? NO, I lied!!! I said, "Fine."

And I thought of the "Honesty" discussion I had heard. Why didn't I tell her? To keep peace? To avoid confrontation? Because it would be a hassle? Just not coming back was my choice, not to have them take it back and do over, etc. I am acquainted with some men who certainly would have complained. They are confident, assured and leaders in their career choices. Whether they are always honest I don't know but they wouldn't pay for something that was bad and if asked about the food, they would have spoken up...

Many fine nuances to being honest: Is "omitting" dishonesty, is being diplomatic dishonest, is blunt truth too cruel, can all friendships and relationships weather total honesty??? Something to think about.

Unfortunately, sometimes I can be too direct and "honest" in a way that can hurt. And other times, I do not assert my rights by being as honest as I should be... I can be a wimp or a jerk depending on the mood. Something to think about. Hopefully, generally I am somewhere in between and just nice and agreeable with a little positive feedback thrown in...

Problem Solved!!! Sleeping Well...

For the past six weeks or so I have been bothered by an aching leg which I understand is probably from a pinched nerve. I have decided I will try acupunture when the snow lets up and I can get down to Chico. But...

In the meantime I have been tossing and turning and hurting. A few nights ago I started a new routine. I lathered my leg with muscle rub, pulled on my long ski underwear, pulled on snuggy wool socks (after a hot soak in the tub) and then laid under my flannel sheets and down quilt in the soldier sleep pattern (on my back, legs slightly apart and arms straight down, nothing touching and totally relaxed). My bed has the feet raised also. There were no nerves touching each other all night and no matter how much I was tempted to turn on my side, I wouldn't do it. I slept like a baby, just like I saw Kelsi sleep and it worked!!!! I think the snug underwear keeps the heat on the leg. Anyway, I look like a dork, but who's looking anyway. I AM SLEEPING!

As I have said before, growing old is for the pits...

President Hinckley's Funeral

It was a beautiful funeral today for President Hinckley. He was such an amazing father, Prophet and leader. He has put the Church in the limelight all over the world. There were so many informative stories that I learned many things I had not heard before.

The main thing I realized is that I need to get back to work and stop thinking I am too old to do anything!!! He was 23 years older than I am when he did most of his traveling around the world and he was still making momentous decisions. What a man...how blessed we have been.

I am looking forward to getting to know President Monson better. He has always been a marvelous speaker and quite a caretaker of the widows. He is following quite a legacy and we all pray for him as he makes his own mark on the direction of the Church.

Tomorrow

Well, the sun is supposed to come out Monday anyway. We have had snow all day again. The "Christmas Trees" in the back of my yard are the heaviest I have ever seen them and the snow is half way up the bird feeder.

You can't see him but at the moment I chose to take a picture a big squirrel was choosing to escape across the snow. I wonder from where to where??? It currently is a white-out outside and will be the same tomorrow. On our walk today, I slipped again, it is pure ice underneath the powder--another two days by the fire for sure. Since I ran out of fire starter I am a real pioneer at getting my wood to burn.

I love the song "Tomorrow" from Annie. FDR was president when I was in grade school and this is who Annie was singing to in the musical. We were totally impressed at listening to him on the radio or seeing him in the newsreels at the movie. When the musical Annie first came to LA the children were all quite young but Richard loved taking the children to musicals. So we bought seats close up front (our philosophy was if you are going to spend that much money, spend a little more and make it really memorable) and drove them up there. It was a wonderful experience but I wonder if they remember it as well as I do!

The last musical Richard took me to, was a near up front seat of "Phantom of the Opera" in San Diego. It was a marvelous production. I have never forgotten that "Phantom"--his voice, his hands, amazing. It was one of the best birthday presents I have ever received.

The Enchanted Cottage

I have certainly read some good books and seen some good movies while sitting in by the fire. Yesterday it was an old WW II movie I had seen before but I didn't know it was specifically made to make the casualties of war feel better about themselves. Supposedly as the story goes the enchanted cottage was let out to honeymooners only and had been for over 200 years. There were many romantic tales about the charm and mystery of the place.

Robert Young was the handsome pilot who returned with a deformed face and arm. Dorothy McQuire was the homely, kind old maid who he married for convenience rather than love. (It is interesting that to make a beautiful woman homely all you have to do is take away her makeup, give her a frumpy hairdo, frumpy dress, and poor posture). At any rate they fall madly in love as they are transformed by the enchanted cottage (they think) into beautiful people. They do not realize they still look exactly the same to other people. They have become beautiful to each other because of the loving and caring way they treated each other.

It is like Goethe said, "If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become what he ought to be."

Anyway it was an enchanting, romantic story, just perfect for a snowy, lonely day.

If you have someone in your life that makes you feel beautiful, you are very fortunate. I have never forgotten one day in the San Diego Temple when Richard came up and whispered in my ear. "You are the most beautiful lady here." This was at a time when I was 30 lbs overweight and with a frumpy hairdo as well. And believe me, I was not the most beautiful lady there, but he treated me as if I were...a very kind man.

Snow predicted until Monday--Yikes!

Bandido and I dressed up like eskimos and enjoyed the beautiful snow today. He didn't like it since the road wasn't cleared yet and he was getting a snow belly.

If you look closely you can see it is snowing quite heavily... This is my attempt at a photo op--about 20 feet from my door. Not bad... Where I laid my black glove is the top of my head and I am 5'4" so you can see the sides of the road are over 6 feet high now.

Marjorie learned how to measure the snow weight. We need a 4 inch diameter plastic pipe--put it down in the snow (on the roof) put a shovel under the bottom of the pipe and then put the pipe in a plastic bag and drop all the snow in it. Weigh the bag and times it by 11 and that will tell you how much weight you have per sq foot. Hmmm....

President Gordon B. Hinckley passes away

"President Hinckley has been one of the most loved modern Church leaders and is the greatest temple builder in the history of the world. Of the 124 temples in the Church, President Hinckley has dedicated 85 of them and rededicated 10 more. "

The remembrance I always cherished is his prayer with his family that they would "live a life of no regret"... something we would all desire. We all loved our Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley.

Astrology

So every day I send an Astrology email to the "block sender" and everyday I get another one, so doesn't that work to block them??? Anyway today's is pretty good:

"Get the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop? It's not -- so relax and let the universe drive. Things have been going splendidly, and they'll continue to do so. All you have to do is show up -- and stop trying to find the dark cloud in that silver lining."

Now if only my leg would stop aching I could get some sleep...

"Left to Tell"

Jeanne sent me the book "Left to Tell", the story of Immaculee Ilibagiza who was a survivor of the Rwandan Holocaust. For 91 days she and seven other women lived in a cramped bathroom of a Pastor's home while hundreds of machete-wielding killers looked for them.

She asked the Pastor for a Bible and discovered the power of prayer through her many hours of meditation. She came to have complete trust in God and his promise of "Ask and ye shall receive". Immaculee went from 105 lbs to 65 lbs and had two severe illnesses while in those horrible conditions but learned how to cast out doubt and negative thoughts Satan was feeding her and give herself totally to God. She also determinedly learned the English language on her own while in that tiny place with just a French/English dictionary and two English books, because she felt inspired that she would need to know English to tell her story. In the end she was amazingly able to forgive her family's killers and came to know the meaning of unconditional love.

She says, "When I meditated, I touched the source of my faith and strengthened the core of my soul. While horror swirled around me, I found refuge in a world that became more welcoming and wonderful with each visit. Even as my body shriveled, my soul was nourished through my deepening relationship with God."

Several times she was able to look her killer's in the eye and they walked away without harming her. It is really an inspirational story.

The amazing thing to me is that that type of geneocide can still happen in our world in 1994. Over one million Tutsis were slaughtered.

We have so much to be grateful for here in America, so much we take for granted.

Bagger Vance

I just watched an excellent "feel good" movie directed and produced by Robert Redford with Matt Damon, Will Smith, Charlene Therize, "Legend of Bagger Vance". I must have missed it in 2000 when it came out, but it almost makes me want to take up golf (almost). And I was interested in the line "Golf is not a game that can be won, only played." Great movie...

Oh, yes, and the sun came out today, temp up to 50 and good meltdown for a few hours. And good news...the building code up here is 100 lbs per sq ft and 4 ft of snow on the roof would only be about 50 lbs per sq ft. As I found out in Texas and Louisiana, building codes in California are more strict but aren't we glad for that...

And snowing...

So what is more dangerous, too much rain in So Cal or too much snow in No Cal? At least the snow is more beautiful, you have to admit that.

Another 18 inches last night. I cleaned the steps and woodshed run (and Bandido run) at midnight and again this morning. The snow is still light but getting wetter and would be perfect for making snow creatures. If only I had kept my ski pants...

The roof is up to 45 inches by the stairs. How much weight can a roof hold? And I hold my breath every time I gather wood--check out the roof on the wood shed.

It just keeps snowing!!!

Hope the roof can hold it!!! It may snow all weekend. Ron just cleaned off the driveway at 1 and there is already another 6-8 inches. Bandido and I tried to take a walk but underneath all that powder is very slick ice. A broken hip would about finish me up...so we are sitting by the fire.

Nightmare!

I had another one of those crazy nightmares--started out on a trip with Richard but got lost when I sidetripped to find a bathroom. As I tried to talk to people along the way I couldn't hear them because the tape recorder in my hand was too loud and I couldn't shut it down. I finally threw it far away and it still blared in my ear.

I ended up in a station or post office and stood right in front of my Dad and he didn't recognize me (I was 35 when he died). I finally saw Richard and had to admit I had lost my purse with the luggage tickets, all my identities and money. That is when I woke up and found my ipod was blaring loudly in my ears!

3/4 of a Century!

Well, I made it through another birthday, the 75th, a big one! I actually celebrated it last Thursday, my last night tending Jacob, Lea, Jimmy and Kelsi. I made cupcakes earlier in the day, a good dinner, and I intended I would have each of them draw a card for me. However, there was the Lea mishap. She was at ballet, but where, I did not know and there was a problem as her "ride home driver" was out of town. So she was there knowing she didn't have a ride. And I was home, not knowing where she was. Luckily I reached Camber before she got on the plane in Salt Lake City and she alerted someone to pick her up.

However, she didn't get home till 7! At any rate, Jacob and Jimmy sang "Happy Birthday" to me and loved their cupcakes. And then Lea did the same. There were so many cupcakes I put the remaining ones in tupperware in the freezer.

The next morning when the boys were telling me "Goodbye", the big question Jimmy had was, "Are you going to take your cupcakes with you?" I assured them they would be in the freezer for them when they returned from school, so all was well. I could leave, but not the cupcakes...

Having a large family is always a plus on your birthday, you get a call from your brother David, sisters' Carole, Jeanne and Marilyn and children Linda, James, and Maria (well Maria forgot this year, thinking it was the 28th) but Camber had all the children sing "Happy Birthday" again on the phone and Maria gave me a blurb in her blog when she realized her mistake. All in all, a lovely birthday and my daughters are taking me to a Spa in Reno when Linda comes up next month, something to look forward to--I need a Spa treatment at 75!

Winter Wonderland, Indeed!

Today Bandido and I really enjoyed our walk. It was 10 degrees warmer, blue sky was peeking through the clouds, no wind, and lovely big flakes of snow coming straight down. Lovely.

It reminded me of how much time we spent in the snow when I was growing up in Montana. Mother didn't drive so we walked to school, home again for lunch (actually noontime was the big meal of the day) and then back to school and home again in the afternoon. The temperatures were much lower than they ever get here in California but we dressed for it. Long stockings, wool snow pants, galoshes over our shoes, mittens strung through our coat sleeves with crocheted yarn strings, scarf over the head babushka style, long scarf around the chin and nose area, and a long scarf around the forehead. We were ready for cold. Often double mittens. Still I remember how much fun it was to walk and play along the way, often stopping in the park and making angels in the snow or playing a game of fox and geese or building a snow man.

After school we would go sledding on the hill outside our home or ice skating a few blocks away. I remember coming in with hands so cold you had to warm them up by putting them first under ice water and then gradually getting the water warmer so it wouldn't hurt so much. It amazes me how much we could endure in those Montana winters, but when you are skating or climbing the hill or running around a fox and geese circle you stay fairly warm. When Richard and I had our own children we would often draw a fox and geese circle at the beach in the winter (when it was deserted) and teach the children how we played in the snow--well, at least I, Richard grew up in Las Vegas so only knew snow when he went to BYU or over to Brianhead to ski.

This is the coldest winter we have had since I came to Lake Almanor--it may be a long winter.

Living My Dream! 2008

I have only been home a day but it is enough to remember why I don't have a dream, I am living my dream!! This is what I always wanted, a place of peace, security, and I must add, beauty in the mountains!! I love my little space that destiny led me to and to live here in good health with the knowledge that all my descendants are very capable, healthy and wise and able to make their own mark in the eternal scheme of things, I am, in deed, very blessed.

True, when I dreamed this dream I should have dreamed having my love here by my side. Then I would never be lonely. But you know what, in all honesty, Richard would have been bored to death here. He did not have hobbies or "stuff" to keep him busy. He had to have things to organize, to manage, to manipulate, to negotiate or he was just not fulfilled. He had a life full of that and is probably now Heavenly Father's best organizer of councils in heaven.

I have so many books to read, my organ to play, quilts to quilts, material to sew, family history to complete, memory books to finish, friends and family to visit, gardens to tend, a temple near by and always a step away from a beautiful walk in the woods. Who could ask for more. I may even go back to swimming in the lake this summer. (And I love my fire wood stove burning every day.)

When I was at a park with Kelsi in Rancho Santa Fe I talked with a realtor who was tending her grandchild. She told me of a client who was just a little younger that I. But this poor woman was having to sell her home and move to Texas where she hoped she could get some help from her daughter. This 70 something woman had two grandchildren she cared for full time, one 10 and one 11. She also had a 26 year old disabled grandchild who was bedridden, her full charge. And she recently had to bring her daughter into her home who was 49 and had had a stroke. The woman had had a reversible mortgage on her home but had to sell soon and hopefully recoup some equity to move on to a cheaper place to live. The realtor said the government who helps so many was not much help to this lady. As always there are those who know how to get every freebie there is while others who have a need go without.

As a friend keeps telling me, "Gratitude is riches, complaint is poverty," I have nothing to complain about and can only be very grateful. I am living my dream.

Update:  Who knew that I would have to do the same thing, sell my dream home with a reverse mortgage and live with my daughter.  Enjoy your moments, life is always changing.

If You Don't Have a Dream...

Lea and I have been watching the Rodgers and Hammerstein Musical "South Pacific" and one of the songs is "If you don't have a dream, How you gonna make a dream come true" (polynesians singing English). Reminded me I am supposed to be deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life. So what is my dream? Or do we ever get to choose anyway? Isn't it just like John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans?" I think so and I have always hated to want something for fear of being disappointed. Seems that is what always happens if you really want something. I got that lesson early with my Shirley Temple Doll and I think that is why it is so hard for me to set goals and make plans. I would rather not be disappointed.

In "SOUTH PACIFIC" you have your "cockeyed optomist". I guess I am the cockeyed pessimist. I have also been thinking I need to review my "25 Things I Want to Do Before I Die" or as the recent movie called it, "My Bucket List". I think I did most of the ones I chose 11 years ago and need to choose some more. Now I know this shoots down my theory of not planning because of disappointment possibilities but I didn't think they would really happen and so I wouldn't have been disappointed if they hadn't and then they just did. Strange now that I think about it. I think I have had my heart broken too many times though to want anything too much again.

So how do people know what they want to do with their life and where do their dreams come from? I remember when I was a senior in high school all I wanted to do was get married after I graduated and my brother talked me into going to college--which I am very happy for but it wasn't my dream. My friend Carla had many dreams and plans for what she wanted to do--because of that drive she became "Miss Montana" and was on Broadway, on TV, had multiple careers. Why do some people know exactly what they want and the rest of us become the audience or the enabler or just do what someone else needs us to do??? I wish I had the answers.

What do I want to do with what is left of my life??? I wish I had a dream...

So what things did I want that actually came true? When I was in college I thought it would be neat to live in California. But I went back to Montana by choice and then ended up in California anyway, and I have lived here for 52 years. When I first moved to San Diego, I saw La Jolla and said I wanted to live there some day but I did not actively pursue it. I lived there for 20 years. One of my "25 list" was to go to Sweden. I went there in 2000 but I had not actively pursued that either. I wanted to be a fulltime Mom and wife and I was that for 20 years before other forces took me into the career life. I had always wanted to live in the mountains and finally achieved that in 1999. Hmm, so I guess the thought or dream is the beginning...

So what do I want to do with the rest of my life??? I wish I had a dream...

Sleeping Positions

I once read an article on what our sleeping positions mean. Last night the two year old Kelsi ended up in my bed and she sleeps "spread eagled" with both hands and feet spread out and laying on her tummy. I think it means "domination" as opposed to my sleeping habit in a fetal position which means just the opposite. I started her out in the middle of the bed but she keeps turning and spreading out until I had about 12 inches on the side. I moved to the other side and left her where she was with pillows edging her side. A few hours later I was hugging the side of the bed again and she dominated our space. Oh, well, two more sleepless nights and then I am heading home to Lake Almanor to peace, calm and aloneness. It has been a great trip, but there's no place like home.

Winter Wonderland

Jean and Ron sent me pictures of what I am missing at home today, it is beautiful...you have to admit.

Gratitude Letter from Bill 2008

 

New Year's Resolutions

I commend my daughters for making resolutions. I must admit that the thought never even entered my mind till I read Linda's and Maria's. Now is that because I do not think I need to change a thing or that I think I am past hope of any improvement at all...??? Obviously it is the latter, at my age it is all downhill from here...Happy New Year!

Let it Snow, Let It Snow!

I have been in Southern California for almost three weeks now and though it is cool at times, there is snow at my home!! So let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Images of Meagan's Wedding

The ceremony of Matt and Meagan's wedding was held in the living room of James and Cambers home. It was very touching and personal and a history of their acquaintance and romance preceded the vows. The courtyard was used for the eating, cake cutting and the innovative delight for all, "the candy bar". After delicious snacks of all kinds, there was dancing to a terrific band by the pool. It was a fun, festive wedding that went from 3:30 till 9 pm. Meagan's mother Jennifer had made beautiful place settings and lovely shawls were given to all the women. Terrific toasts were given and the traditional first dance and throwing of the bouquet. As a sidelight, Lea, 8 year old daughter of James, caught the bouquet, just as she did at her aunt Kelsi's wedding...