She did say I had forgotten that we had an 18th Birthday Party for Marilyn at Norma Kay's house. Kay was in my grade, not Marilyn's. I do not remember it at all.
It is very interesting what "selective memory" we have. I am not sure that term applies here but I did look it up and this is what it means:
Lacunar amnesia is the loss of memory about one specific event. It is a type of amnesia that leaves a lacuna (a gap) in the record of memory.
According to Steven Johnson, (the author of Mind Wide Open: Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life):
"Scientists believe memories are captured and stored by two separate parts of the brain, the hippocampus, the normal seat of memory, and the amygdala, one of the brain's emotional centers... the brain is designed to preserve emotionally strong memories. Even amnesiacs, under the right circumstances, can remember their past feelings."
Furthermore, according to Alex Chadwick speaking on NPR:
"Some scientists now believe that memories effectively get rewritten every time they're activated... Theoretically, if you could block that chemical reaction in a human brain while triggering a specific memory, you could make a targeted erasure. Think of a dreadful fight with your girlfriend while blocking that chemical reaction, and zap! The memory's gone."
Daniel Goleman, in his book Vital Lies, Simple Truths, defines a lacuna as :
"... Lacunas, in short, create blind spots "
As I say, I can't imagine why I would selectively forget Marilyn's birthday party, but the above has certainly happened in the selective memories I have regarding relationships that fall apart. I simply have erased certain memories from my brain, absolutely. I also would erase from my mind disagreements with my husband. It certainly makes for a more peaceful coexistence. Richard, on the other hand, could remember everything--this is not nearly as good for the psyche.
Selective memory is a great survival mechanism.
Marilyn, a few years ago, at the Anderson Cabin.
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