It Is A Good Thing,,isn't It??

If nothing else, I have learned the secret to losing weight.  Just strictly stick to the Special Carbohydrate diet which is for chronic diarrhea, and other serious illnesses of the digestive system.  Since I have been sticking strictly to this diet this last couple? weeks I have lost more weight, and I am not even trying.  And I am not craving anything...much.  Yesterday I went to Jack In The Box and they have my favorite pumpkin shakes (and yes, they are better than "Steak and Shake" and I resisted them.  Never done that before.  But if you realize the consequences will get to you sooner or later, it is fairly easy to resist.  Marilyn, at church, told me her daughter-in-law (diagnozed with Chrohn's) lost 40 lbs!

In 1996 I was told at my physical with Kaiser that I should lose 52 lbs.  I have now surpassed that and am almost at my favorite weight that I was at in 1978 when I was 45 years old.  Which was still 20 lbs more or so than I weighed in high school and 10 lbs more than what I was at when I decided I needed to join Weight Watchers after my last baby was born.  (They said I did not belong there).  However, I weigh heavy with these sturdy legs and arms so what is the best weight, after all?

My waist is not much smaller than my hips were in high school, ha, those were the days.  We had such tiny waists...this pix is probably when I was about 45 years old.

Family Helps in the Big Move in 1999 from San Diego to Lake Almanor

October 28, 2017

For some reason, I am full of energy in the middle of the night and so I was checking out the family blogs to see who is still doing them.  I read Linda's from start to finish and enjoyed it so much.  She has their whole courtship and marriage with lots of movies so concisely done. You can get through it rather fast.  Not like mine, which has a lot...of words.

What was especially interesting was the movies of my move from San Diego to Lake Almanor in 1999 when the Pulsiphers brought me and all my furniture from San Diego and with the help of the Valkos and some of their friends moved me into my house.  What a huge job!!  What a commitment!!!  How do we survive without family???  And they had 10 children in and out and about, helping but playing, too, and taking the movie and playing in the snow.  I don't know how the parents handled it all so well.

It was fun watching the dancing and plays and creative fun the kids were having at Marias's house in Susanville.  So funny.  I wondered where Craig learned to dance so well.  He and Melissa looked really good for being so young.

I was especially impressed with how the yard and house looked when I moved in.  So much has been done to it since, mostly by Mark, in the house and the boys in the yard and Pulsiphers in the rock patio.  Such an improvement now.  It really has been a wonderful place for me to live.  It was fun seeing Bandido as just a puppy, too.

Jimmy and his friends had packed all of my things in the moving van but unfortunately, when James drove it up the hill to the Pulsiphers, something happened and it all got messed up and Gary and his family had to repack it all.  Gary drove, actually, Gary paid for the truck, too.  So appreciative for family helping, as I say.  What a time that was.

When Craig was interviewing me in the movie it was obvious I was overweight but it was also amazing to see how happy I was and how light-hearted I looked.  This was three years after Richard died but I was glad to see I was not so weighted down anymore.  I was really happy with the move.  

I had felt so bad when John said I could not afford a house when I told him I was buying a house in Lake Almanor.  I remember crying and calling Maria and she and Mark consoled me.  But actually John was right.  I could not afford and not realize all the extra costs of home ownership.  I had a lot of tears before I was able to really afford it.

But I was so blessed when Maria found an advertisement for retired loan professionals to work for the SBA during times of disaster.  I was hired in 2000 but did not get my first assignment until September of 2001.

More Pix of Kate's Birthday

Another pix from Kate's Birthday Trip to Magic Mountain

Special pix of Mom and Oldest Daughter, where did Kate get those curls?

How quickly children grow up, look like sisters!!

Love those curls and sun glasses, you look classy, Kate!

Jacob

The family will be visiting Jacob in Hawaii for Thanksgiving.  They are missing him.  I was surprised he has almost 1000 followers on Instagram.  He is a surfing champ.  I remember having such fun with him over the years, he was a delight to take care of as a toddler because he was so interested in everything, every toy I could come out of the closet with, he was fascinated to try.

My Friend Carla

I called my childhood friend Carla (Berta Mae to me) who is living in a Senior Residence Home in Boca Raton, Florida.  She is really loving it there and spends a lot of time exercising in the gym.  She says she does not get tired.  That is good to know.  She broke her hip a few years ago and then while healing from that she broke her leg so it is wonderful she can be so physical.

I forgot to ask her where her grand piano is...wonder if she still has it.  Her boys are both living there in homes of their own.  Evidently, they moved to Boca Raton to be involved in Addiction Rehab facilities.  She is very proud of what they are doing.

This was when her partner was alive.

This is when she was Miss Montana.

These are from several years ago.

Pumpkin Time with the Masseys

Eden was enjoying her first field trip and Nico gets to tag along.

Christmas Jammies...time for fun and dancing.

Looks like Mom and Dad get a night out!

Oh, wow, looks like another night out!!

The Valko Boys

 Mitch and Bahia are living and working in San Diego now.

And Michael has finally shown up on Instagram...yea, Mike we miss you!!

Matt is looking good and his hat reminds me there are still some of his hats here!

Lea and Jimmy

It will be fun to see what is going on with these two, Lea, the beautiful model type and Jimmy the skateboarding whiz and goalie expert.  Lea is a senior!!!   And Jimmy a junior!!!  I am really going to feel my age with all this beauty and energy around me.

Someone said you should get permission before posting pictures of children.  But I feel if they posted publicly on Instagram, then I can put it in my blog.  I am about the only one that reads it and I really enjoy keeping up with everybody as much as I am able.  And, the purpose for my blog is because I will not remember...I really enjoy looking back and seeing and reading everything.  So glad Maria got me doing a blog...

Here they are with their Pulsipher cousins and nieces and nephews.  What a beautiful picture.

Makoshika State Park outside Glendive, Montana

I subscribed to Makoshika State Park on Instagram and am amazed at the pictures I am getting.  We hiked around there outside of Glendive for years but I must not have gone far enough in, I do not remember seeing a lot of these areas.

Medical Numbers

So Dr. Salehi had me do the blood test and I went in for the result.  She wanted me to take statins drugs again.  I don't know why she forgets we decided not to go that way.  Actually the total cholesterol of 285 is good compared to the 360 I had for years.  I just looked at them all again and it has been a lot worse.  My HDL was 65 which Kaiser said is good and just advised me to watch my diet.  We will see what the heart doctor says.

However, the micro-albumin/creatinine ratio was 40 and 30 is normal.  She recommended I see my urologist which will be easy to do as she is just up the road from where I will be living in Del Mar.  However, I had just had a Uti and been on antibiotics so that may have made a difference plus I was on the ibuprofen for the pain, too this last month.  Anyway I am in much better shape than I have been at times.  I should walk more than 10 minutes a day though now that outside yard work has almost ceased with the colder weather.  And I should renew my dancing!!!

I see in 1996 it was recommended I lose 52 lbs so I need to lose 2 more!!!

Nothing said about my blood sugar.

But I am back on my low carb, no sugar and making my own food.  Today I made the white beans baked with tomato juice, honey, vinegar, seasonings and ham hock.  And it is delicious!  Tomorrow I will do the homemade yogurt again and the spaghetti sauce and I know that is good.  Plus I have the spaghetti squash for my pasta sub.

I also found Fodys online which because of the fodmaps has all kinds of sauces, etc that are ok to take.  It is expensive though. 

Kate, Oldest Great Grandchild Celebrates Her Birthday!

What a special birthday celebration for Kate.   Grandma and Grandpa, Mom Kristi, Sarah and Craig took her to Magic Mountain so she could do the roller coasters!  Something she doesn't get to do when she is with her younger siblings.

Ravens or Crows???

There has been a large group of black birds all over the street and in the yard and across the street and I wonder what kind they are and why there is such a gang of them hanging out together and what they are doing!!

Then I see a lone black bird, larger, swooping around.

Since I can never remember the differences I looked it up.  The large group are Crows and they often travel and live in large groups.  Their tails are straight across.

The lone guy may or may not have another with him but they seldom gather in groups.  He has the tail that is longer in the middle and he is a Raven.

Now I know, I should take their pix.

Kelsi, the Youngest Grandchild

Kelsi was born just seven months before my first Great Grandchild, Kate.

Evidently, Kelsi will be giving up her great big bedroom for me for the winter!!  And I will get to spend lots of precious time with her I hope.  Kelsi is always a delight to be around, loves life and everybody in it.  I hope she can teach Sadie some tricks again.  She is very good at that.

I will be arriving on the Tuesday morning before Thanksgiving and will be traveling with Mary Anne, who will be visiting her daughter's family in Santee.  She is flying back the next week, however, and I will be staying till almost April.

Kelsi and I have spent a lot of time together.  I remember one time when I was tending her and her friend as they used the pool and were sitting in the Jacuzzi I heard her come to my defense.  I am not  exactly quite sure what her little friend said about me, but Kelsi defensively said in such a loud voice I looked up from my reading, "She is not!" and they were both staring at me and then Kelsi smiled at me so sweetly, as if to say, "It's ok, Grandma."

 Kelsi has been in Cotillion and is dressed up so pretty here with her beautiful Mom.

Looks like she got to watch the college girls play Soccer.  One of their dear friends is on the BYU team this year.

Hello, World!!!!

A few months ago Kelsi and Camber got to go to New York with James and Kelsi saw her first Broadway Musical.

Happy Anniversary Yesterday!!!

I meant to wish myself a Happy Anniversary yesterday and then I got so intent on catching up on my blog that I forgot.  It would have been 58 years!!!  Richard treated me so well.  I remember when Matt Hardy was living with us for a summer in La Jolla.  He let me know he thought I was very fortunate to have a beautiful home, and a husband who doted on me.  His father had died and left his mother with six children and a baby on the way.  Yes, I am sure my life looked pretty great compared to his Mom's.  And it was especially good at that time.

I am remembering those years serving in the San Diego Temple before Richard died.  With our financial world crashing around  us, it became the oasis in the week.  The time to be out of this world for a time.  Richard would always come up and tell me how beautiful I was or that he loved me whenever our paths would cross while we were doing our specific jobs in the temple.  I was 50 lbs overweight and looked pretty tacky but he never made me feel badly about it.

I have shared pictures of us over and over but this one may have been one of the last.  We were up in Susanville.  I think I look younger now than I did then even though this was probably 23 or more years ago.

Linda just sent me a note.

"Just realized it was you and Dad's anniversary.  Thinking of you and dad and all the happy years you had together.  You and dad were a great example of what a marriage should be.  Love you both so much and your great examples of conquering life, whatever it throws at you, and making the best of it together!!  Can't thank you enough for the loving home and examples you both provided for our family.  Love you!"

Thanks, Linda, I appreciate you always remember the good times.  After talking to my sister, Carole, last night I read my "Dear Richard" letters.  These were letters I wrote to Richard after he died when things in my life were not going well, and I would vent to him rather than my children.  I decided it was time to burn them and only remember the good times.

And, of course, the year it all began...1959.  I especially like this picture because of the way Richard is looking at me...like he loves me.  This picture came from my parent's movie camera which I only saw a couple years ago when my nephew Steven shared it on the Silvergate Cabin page.  Love it!

Oh, NO, Not Again--My Tummy Aches Plus More...Need to Stay Home Alot!!!!

Sometime after Hurricane Katrina I began to have intestinal problems, not that Hurricane Katrina was the cause, it is just a timing gauge.  Although it could have been--I lost 20 pounds the first month on duty and practically lived on Pepto bismo and fiber pills trying to control what food we did get.  But then when I ended up my tour in Galveston and then Beaumont and the restaurants were all operating I was eating everything yummy and I do not remember a problem except for gaining weight.  But anyway, disaster day did hit and...

Dr. Natali gave me information on IBS and Linda bought me a book and I scoured the website and began to change my way of eating to see if we could find the cause and the cure.  Gone were the days when I could eat anything I wanted and not end up having some disastrous consequences.  I appreciated Dr. Natali so much, he tried so hard to help and was very understanding.

The first thing I found for sure was the relationship to gluten and so I gave up gluten.  The times I would slip or eat unawares always resulted in problems.  Gluten was definitely out.  Sugar could definitely be a problem, and I found the Special Carbohydrate Diet and that really solved the issue but another opinion was that it was just the Fodmaps (lactose, fructose, fructan, etc etc) and rice was ok, and potatoes were ok and watermelon was not ok, etc. etc. and so bread could be made from rice flour and not just almond flour, etc.  The fact that these two diets disagree on certain foods to solve the same problem is why trial and error is necessary.  Fodmap diet does not want you to eat onions and yet it is ok on SCD.  Frustrating!  Plus fodmap diet says Gelato ok, SCD no!

It is the opinion that when bacteria in our gut gets out of  wack that the small intestine could not digest certain foods and they would just wiz on through.  It is more complicated than that but lots of reading and experimenting helped me to find what worked to keep me fairly stress-free and not so many tummy aches and runs to the bathroom.   I have lots of books and recipes and have experimented a lot.

But of course, you always cheat a little, slip a little and soon you are out of balance again.  One thing that can be a real problem is antibiotics and last month with all the antibiotics with my dental issues my system is out of wack again and I am back to square one...so to speak.

So back to cooking what works and eating what works and avoiding the rest...plus I had given up more dairy last summer when I found my congestion and phlegm problems could disappear with the dairy...who knew.  Well actually if you read books and the internet a lot of people know.

But actually, the homemade food is much better than any other.  It just takes planning and shopping.  Since I have found my love for Havarti Cheese I am especially anxious to try the fresh tomatoes and Havarti pizza on a homemade almond flour crust...I never tried that before!!!  We will see if it is as good as the margarita pizzas on the Mediterranean Cruise.  I am looking forward to my homemade spaghetti sauce, too, so much better especially with spaghetti squash and zucchini and hey, I have missed my cauliflower mashed potatoes...

After I get my tummy settled down again I will try my rice flour bread again and my potatoes one at a time and gradually see what else I can handle...Oh, yes, I am back to making my own yogurt again.  Why did I stop, it is so good and much better than probiotic pills.  Just takes a little effort.

My favorite breakfast...an egg mixed with half a banana and made into a big pancake and then slathered with butter...yum.  Or an egg stirred up with cheese and microwaved for 45 seconds.

Well, the heart doctor did say to make my diet just protein and vegetables, I guess that is what it will be.

The funny thing I can remember tummy aches being a part of my life from the time I was a child, definitely when I was a teenager and young adult so I probably have been eating things I was allergic to or that were toxic to me for years.  When I had an exam as a young adult the doctor said I had a wrinkled stomach? lining and so acid and spicy foods would always irritate me...that is all I remember about that.  And there have been other sporadic episodes but not chronic until about 2006-7 or so.

Zack has Grown Up!!!

Zack is the son of my niece Sherry who passed away from cancer when Zack was just a young man.  They lived with us in La Jolla when he was just a toddler.  As soon as I find a pix of him at that time I will load it.  He lives in Austin, Texas and does very well with his sweet family.

About Christmas 2011 in October 2017, Carole

Last night I was talking to Carole and she was so sad and depressed I asked her if she had ever read the letter I wrote to my children at Christmastime 2011 ( I actually keep a copy in my drawer with all my book reading ideas and article "There's a Horse in the House" and letters I write to Richard when I am sad.  These are things I want to remind myself of from time to time.)  She said, "No", so I read it to her and she thanked me.  She said I should send it to the Ensign.  "So many need to hear that."

Here is a copy.

Dear Linda and Gary, Maria and Johnny, James and Camber,


Saturday morning a wondrous thing happened to me. I had been feeling so dark, so discouraged, so hopeless and I just couldn't pull myself out of it.  It had gone on for months.  I had been seeking answers from the Lord and they were not coming. Friday night I pleaded again and cried for help.


Saturday morning the answer came. It was like I was getting patient instruction from a loving parent. It was:


"Janet, do you remember when ....and I did this for you... and do you remember this...and this... and He went through all the things I knew but was refusing in my dark mind to remember. All the many times the Lord has answered my prayers, has forgiven me, has carried me when I couldn't handle it all, has actually saved me from my myself and directed me down another path, all the many mini-miracles and tender mercies and all the loving people in my life, all the blessings, life saving experiences and learning experiences, and actual miracles.


The way I had been feeling was that I had had too much steeped on me and it wasn't fair and why didn't the Lord love me when I had tried my best to do what was required of me and why this and why that and my complaints went on and on.   I couldn't see where I was going from here, there was no joy in my life, I had nothing to show for all my work and struggle.  I was a failure and unloved.


And after the Lord instructed me it was like a great weight was lifted from me and He reminded me that everything was going to be all right and I should have peace and love and faith in my mind and heart instead of fear and doubt and discouragement. He reminded me that He had always been there and He would always be there. That we all have different experiences and what is really important and what doesn't matter and I should recognize the difference, I shouldn't be confused and doubt, I knew better. He was there always and all was well, He assured me He knew I was doing my best and I had done well. (I was also made aware of when I had failed to be my best but the pain from those experiences was lifted).


It was like a panorama of all my blessings of which my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are my greatest blessing now and I should just love and enjoy them and all the experiences of life that are still available to me. My home and the blessings of it are one. He reminded me of the many people in my life who had taught me, helped me, showed me the way and how blessed I was to have had them in my life. Richard as the father to my children and a faithful, loving, companion was one of my greatest blessings and I should not minimize that. The many experiences I had were for my instruction and not a curse in my life.


It all happened so fast, was I awake or still in sleep? I am not sure. I just know I was feeling joy and peace when it was over and it seemed I had so many things to do and I was excited to get on with my life and I felt such a strong knowledge of the Lord and the atonement and the plan of salvation and I was so grateful to have the gospel in my life and all it had brought to me. And all those bad feelings I had had for certain experiences were gone. I should have written it all down immediately. But what I have now is the feeling of peace and faith in my Savior and a desire to have more gratitude and a greater appreciation for each of you in my life. The fear I had been carrying for the future is gone. 

I am so thankful to have each of you helping me to endure to the end.  Each of you seems to have a different gift to give…  I know that life is good and we have much happiness in the simplest experiences we share. All is well. I will do the best I can and I know the Lord will make up the rest (probably through you). I love you all. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives.

Thank you all for being so patient with me.  Merry Christmas 2011.

This morning Carole texted me and said again I should send a copy to the Ensign as many need to read my letter.  I am not so sure about that but I did send it as I did not want her to think I do not respect her opinion.  We will see what they say.  I know they are very picky about what they print.  I actually submitted my article about "An angel at the Airport" in 1999, but they turned that one down, and it was actually a very tender mercy for me...and a very much needed mini miracle in my life.

It was so strange before I talked to Carole I sat down by the bed and was checking to see if my phone needed charging before I went to bed.  As I plugged in the charger I heard a voice talking so I put it to my ear and there was Carole.  She said her phone had rung.  I was not aware of it but we began to talk and that was when I realized how sad she sounded.  I know how hard it is to be alone without your husband after so many years of always having them near.  It never gets easy.

My sister Carole in between my sisters Jeanne and Marilyn.

Carole with her granddaughter.

.

Melissa Was Here!!!

Maybe I should put in a picture of me when I was Melissa's age so we can know I was not always so wrinkled!!!  Melissa has the most amazing skin and teeth and eyes and hair, I was not nearly so pretty or gifted with such amazing looks so just as well not.  I have earned those wrinkles and scars though, believe me.

I so enjoyed having Melissa here for two days.  For some reason we can carry on a continual conversation until she tires of talking anyway.  But I always enjoy our conversations and usually learn many things I did not know.  She is so smart!

We ate out a couple times and I cooked a dinner for Saturday night and then Sunday afternoon she needed to get down to Sacramento in time for supper and fly home the next day.  I am so glad she took the time to come and see me though.  And I learned something I need remember always.  She has lots of decisions to make about what she wants in life and I wish her well.  I am sure she will continue to be exceptional in whatever she chooses.

After we had discussed some frustrating things about working with others and in an office and our own needs not being met, etc.  I must have had it all on my mind because the next morning I woke up and said, "I have had and epiphany!!"  All these years I have resented Richard wanting me to learn all about mortgages and then having learned too much it became my career for the next 30 years and so much of that time I hated it!!!  He said to me once, "How can you hate something you are so good at?"

What was the epiphany?  Richard didn't ask me to learn all about brokering conventional loans.  He did not know anything about that.  He asked me to come down and be an office manager and do a few private loans if I wanted to.  Yes, I needed my real estate license to do that but...It was I that learned all about the business of brokering loans to other lenders, it was I that spent hours with the Beverly Hills Loan Specialist to find out how to do it, that invited other lender reps and brokers to our office to teach us, that got us approved with so many lenders, that got us educated in processing and getting loans and understanding adjustable mortgages and etc. etc. etc.  It was I!!! Not Richard.  I chose to learn it.  I chose to do it.  And why?  Because there is something in my personality, and Maria's personality and Melissa's personality that if we see a need to improve a situation we are in, we research and learn and figure out what can be done and how to do it better...to improve continually.  How many times did I organize and reorganize everything in our office...

Maria says if  you work in a job like hers, that kind of drive gets you promoted!!  And she was recently promoted again!!!  And Melissa was promoted a while back, too.  She also said our weaknesses are our strengths and our strengths are our weaknesses.  I see now the secret is learning how to manage it.

You need to learn how to harness this drive to where you don't spend all your time trying to make everything better and forget to take the necessary time for yourself.

In a letter that I wrote to myself  many years ago when I was trying to figure out why I hated my mortgage life so much I had decided it was because I never had time for myself.  I never "took" the time for myself though.  I did not make it a priority.  Everything to do with the job was a priority  and yes, there was always things to do better, things to finish, things to start.  These things were always more important than myself.  I did emotional eating,  I was stressed, I was frustrated but I did not learn how to manage my time to have a balanced life.

When I worked for SBA it was much better but I still was spending a lot of my time developing charts and lists and etc. etc. for the good of the whole but having to take my 'own' to do them instead of spending that extra time on my own needs.

Anyway Maria says if I processed that all in my mind so I can stop blaming others for my own choices then I really did learn something and she is right.  And now I have it down in black and white so I will always have to accept the responsibility for my own choices and not blame anyone else (Richard) etc.