Northern Lights

When I lived in Glendive, Montana we could see what we called the Northern Lights and they moved back and forth like a light show. This picture was taken in Alaska but what we saw was similar, though perhaps fainter. I just read that scientists think they have discovered the energy source. New data from NASA's Themis mission (satellites lauched this winter) found the energy comes from a stream of charged particles from the sun flowing like a current through twisted bundles of magnetic fields connecting eath's upper atmosphere to the sun.

They said there was a two hour light show in March over Alaska and Canada and the geomagnetic storm raced 400 miles in a minute across the sky (equal to a 5.5 earthquake).

I was surprised to read they had expected the existence of these wound-up bundles of magnetic fields but this is the first time it was ever mapped--and get this--mapped some 40,000 miles above the Earth.

It is an amazing world we live in and so much we still don't know about it.

Nice Weekend!

I am surely glad Mitch had a cookie decorating party and Maria invited me, too. I ate both of the ones I did and see how large they are. I haven't done this for a few years with being gone so much the last several Christmases with disasters. They tasted so good! I made some this year also to take down to San Diego for the little ones to frost.

We would put them in tupper ware in the freezer and there was always a complaint that someone had left the lid off, but it didn't matter. They were all gone before Christmas anyway. We still use the recipe I started using in college when I made cookies for my nephews.

Saturday, Maria took me to the Reno Temple and that was an enjoyable morning and then lunch with Matt and his friend Russ at Chevy Mex--they have the best salsa and chips--did you know you can buy them for your own party? Matt and Russ were stoked with all the snow at Tahoe right now and more on the way. In fact it snowed quite a bit in Reno while we were there--but not here yet.

Then we met Kristi and Mike and saw their cute little Kate walking all around. They showed us their house that is being built in the south Reno area. Very nice area and lovely house. So glad they will be close!

Christmas Time again...

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!" (Yes, I think in song all the time). Decorations go up right after Halloween because I love the lights of the Christmas tree and other decoration lights along with the burning warmth of a wood fire to make my evenings warm and cozy for as long as possible. Sometimes I don't take decorations down till February. This early prep for Christmas started when we went skiing every year during the Christmas and New Year weeks and so started using an artificial tree to avoid having to take it all down (for safety reasons) just before we drove to Park City. I just have room for the top half of the tree, now...anyone need a bottom only?

And with the DVR I can make sure I have a Christmas Show or a Christmas program to watch every night as well. It's a good time of year...

And earlier this week I had this thought while shopping at the Dollar Store...

When I was a child we would go to an Elks Christmas Program every year and as we were leaving they would give each of us a brown paper sack and it would always have the same things inside. There would be an orange (very precious to us), hard ribbon candy and creme drops. I especially loved the creme drops so when I saw a bag of them at the Dollar Store I was very excited.  I had not had one of those in years.

The front of the package says "Low Fat Candy"--I checked the label on the back and it said 10 calories!! Yea, I won't break my diet! I quickly ate 4 of them --I mean, only 40 calories!! I was curious as to what they were made out of to be a whole bag for a dollar and only 10 calories, so when we arrived at the restaurant I took them inside to read the ingredients. I was thinking "No wonder they could give us so many, they are cheap and made out of something strange, not like Hersheys or M & Ms". The package also said they had been making them since 1919 so I knew they were the same thing we had as children.

Imagine my dismay when I read more closely and it said 110 calories! Yikes, there went my diet. And it is chocolate, sugar, corn syrup and all the usual suspects.

Montana Friends

Posting Santa Claus on my blog reminded me I have a picture of my first boyfriend, George, his wife Susie and son and family so will post that. George and I were best buddies from second grade on and always had fun together. Bill and I were remembering when Bill and Carla and George and I were in sixth grade and we had our first double date. Suddenly, best buddies who could always talk, didn't know what to say to each other. It was funny and fun. Walking home from that date there was a beautiful spring snow still on the trees and I have never forgotten how beautiful Glendive could be with all those overhanging trees.

I lived with Susie in Billings when I was teaching school for one year. She was known as "Beauty and Brains" and still is. Great memories.

Santa Claus

Whoever thought one of your school friends would grow up to be a Santa Claus? Not me, but here he is, Bill, the class flirt, an authentic Santa Claus with a real beard and mustache!! He says he has been doing this for over 15 years so look for this face in those Christmas commercials!!

"The Thick and the Thin of it"

I am only a size 10 but standing next to a size 4, that is pretty huge. Where Melissa is, I once was, never to be there again--but it is nice to remember. She looks so great. Of course, we didn't wear the low necks except at the swimming pool but we did look pretty good in those latex bathing suits. The two piece ones only had a halter going around the neck and I learned the hard way you don't go diving in that kind of a suit! I think in our day the sizes were different. A figure of 36-23-36 (high school days, not now) was a size 9 then, would probably be a size 4 today. Of course, in England, the sizing is different again--I would probably today be a size 14 there. Oh, well, what is in a number? Just happy to be healthy and able to get into jeans and sweaters and still jump out of bed in the morning...

Richard

Yesterday, Nov 27, was the llth anniversary of Richard's death. The song "I Cried For You" is dedicated to him and the way I felt when he passed awy after 37 years of love, marriage, family and sharing all my joys and woes with a wonderful friend and husband.

Bruce to the Rescue

Maria told in her blog about Bruce biting through Bandido's leash and leading him to the back door so we could let him in. I got to thinking about that. Bandido wanted outside at Maria's but I didn't feel I wanted him roaming a neighborhood he didn't know so I hooked him up to Bruce's run. Unfortunately the run is a little way from the house and when he probably started barking to come in, I did not hear him. To tell you the truth, I had forgotten all about him and was concentrating on the dinner.

This just shows you how smart dogs really are. I would give anything to have witnessed Bandido in distress and Bruce figuring out what to do to save him. Reminds me of when my sister Carole was about 2 or 3 and wandered down to the football field. We found her there with our dog Star sitting beside her on the top step of the football arena. Dogs are so smart.

Thanksgiving at the Valkos

Grandma and Bandido get invited to the Valkos for Thanksgiving. It is a beautiful, though colder, sunny day and all the Valko family have arrived from Sacramento, Redding, and Truckee. Bandido was even excited to see Bruce and they had a fun day together as did we all...

The table is set..

The cooks do last minute touches...

The turkey is carved and food set out to serve...

Handsome Matt is in snowboarding competition this weekend...

Model Melissa strikes a pretty pose...

Beautiful Family Portrait...

Maria at Coventry Gardens

Maria as she exited from Susanville's own tea house Coventry Gardens. Meagan will be happy to hear that even Susanville has High Tea now. We had lunch in celebration of Maria's birthday and the Spinach Quiche was wonderful as were the Pumpkin Mousse and Pumpkin Crisp. The interior has been restored beautifully and the tables are set with lovely cloths and napkins in keeping with the fall season.

As I was waiting for Maria to arrive a couple of ladies drove up by me for tea and one of them I see in the Gym all the time. She is the wife of the realtor who handled my house purchase. She introduced me to her sister and then informed me it was her brother who owned the tea house. What a small world.

In talking to the owner's wife we found that they had run the Little Norway in Lake Almanor for 30 years with the wife's mother. Since her husband came from England they had always had tea. Anyway they had sold and retired and then wanted to go back into business. The idea for the business had arisen when the wife cleared out the furniture in her home one day and had a tea party for 40 women. It is a charming place and I am anxious to go there again when it is all decorated for Christmas. The house is only one block from where Maria and her family lived for a dozen years or so.

One of the magazines inside had some interesting facts about Victorian Days. For instance did you know there was a whole "language" in using the fan. There were 32 listed such as : The fan placed near the heart means "You have won my love". The half-opened fan pressed to the lips means "You may kiss me". Drawing the fan across the cheek means "I love you" while fanning slowly means "I am married" and fanning quickly means "I am engaged". And twirling the fan in the left hand means "We are being watched". I just wonder if the men really understood the language and how did they learn it? No wonder they didn't have to do a lot of talking. Fascinating to say the least.

"You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby"

was a popular song in days past--and Maria was a very beautiful baby and is a very beautiful lady today on her birthday. Happy Birthday, Maria!

I remember well the day I went in for a check up. Since John had been a cesarean and Linda had come natural they were waiting "to see" what Maria would do.

Well, it appeared Maria had turned and was now in a breech position and labor had started. Two doctors conferred on "what to do"--let the labor proceed and hope for a peaceful delivery? or do a cesarean?

They finally decided a normal delivery was too risky, the inner sutures might tear, a risk to me as well as the baby. So another cesarean was performed and Dr. Rust commented on the unusual circumstances of each of my deliveries--"You are always a surprise," he said.

Well, Maria was the surprise. An angel till age 3 and then tantrums and such after James was born. I think since she came only 17 months after Linda she had too many bottles in the carriage and not enough cuddling but she turned into a most compassionate, caring, and creative Mom and friend and hopefully she has forgiven those early competitive years with her demanding siblings.

We love you Maria, you are a terrific, beautiful, and amazing person who we all love to imitate, read everything you write, and listen to your interesting tales of the life of a working Mom, a determined college student, a computer expert and a writer 'extraordinaire'.

Last Bud of Summer

This poor little rosebud has been like this since I came back from San Diego over three months ago. It is below 30 degrees at night--and though it is up in the 60's-70's in the daytime, it will never be warm enough till spring for this little bud to bloom and yet it looks so promising--there must be a message here. "Unfulfilled wishes?" "Frozen in time?" "Stilted growth?" "Never grew up?" You name it. When will it finally give up????

Bandido

I heard on the TV today that people and pets become very much alike in personality, so I have been thinking about what is similar with Bandido and I. It has been 11 years we have been together. For the most part he is much more patient than I am but when he feels neglected he really lets me know. If I forget to let him in from the cold, he really scolds me. If I haven't put his food out yet, he complains. Yes, I guess that is like me, I want what I want when I want it. For the most part though I think we are both pretty mellow. And we are both walking slower, taking more naps and I think we kind of look alike, don't you?

I read once that Lhasa Apsa dogs were watch dogs for the monks. And he is certainly that (he is part Lhasa and part Maltese). If I get up in the middle of the night and come to the computer, he gets himself up and comes and lays beside me till I am done. If he is outside and I am in the kitchen, he keeps a watchful eye through the patio door to see what I am doing. He waits beside the door of the room I am cleaning ready to follow me to the next room. The other night when I let a pot of veggies burn he barked and barked and would not leave the kitchen till I came and took care of it.

And, of course, there was the "Bandido to the Rescue" story I like to share with the granchildren. Camber's big dog had stolen the prettily dressed teddybear off my bed and was in the midst of tearing it apart on the patio off my bedroom. I screamed and went after the dog and Bandido immediately ran out and began retrieving the pieces of teddy bear and her clothing and running them in and dropping them in the bedroom and then going out for more until all the pieces were safe inside again. So smart.

Whether we are alike or not, he is surely a great companion and friend. It is amazing how he can sense my moods and be so sympathetic and concerned. And I swear he can understand exactly what I tell him.

Years earlier Camber dressed him up as a surfer and took this picture.  Such a darling puppy.

Dreams

I hate to go to sleep lately, the old nightmares of post Richard's death have returned. When I first starting having them Maria bought me "The Dream Catcher" so I could record my dreams and then analyze them. The dreams varied with time and place and people but were always variations of not being able to find my clothes, my purse, my car, my home or my way to wherever I was going. Not hard to analyze those kind of dreams but you wake up so exhausted. Usually I was alone in my dreams with strangers around me but sometimes I would converse with friends I hadn't seen for years and then they would disappear. One time my sisters were all dressed up ready to go somewhere and I couldn't find my clothes to get dressed so they finally left me. One time I had Lea in one hand and Jacob in the other and I was racing around with them trying to get somewhere? on time but never reaching our destination. Occasionally I would have what the Dream Catcher called "wish fulfillment dreams" but mostly they were dreams searching, searching through rain, up hills, through buildings, asking people I saw, always searching for something I had lost or just being lost...

Rancho Bernardo Fire

Last night I saw President Bush visiting the neighborhood where I lived in Rancho Bernardo. It was such a charming neighborhood with all English country names and tile roofs. I loved that home. It is where we were living when Richard passed away. It was to be our retirement home. The fire struck just one day before our 48th wedding anniversary--we were only in the home eight years and this is a picture of our first or second Christmas there I believe.

It looked like a war zone with just a few houses left standing. It showed the house number of the home they were filming and it was just a couple streets beyond my street. It also showed the hill we looked out on from our home. So far no houses on Camberwell Lane have been listed as destroyed (there were only about 5 on that Lane). But every street around Camberwell Lane had most of the homes listed as burned. It is so sad.

James called though, and after being evacuated since Monday from their home in Rancho Santa Fe, he said everything looks fine. It appears the fire went around them and the ashes drifted over them to Fairbanks Ranch. He hasn't looked at the new house being built yet, but from what he has been told, it appears that one has come through unscathed also. So thankful!

My Love for Sweatshirts!

A few years ago, when I began traveling so much with the government, I starting buying a sweat shirt at places I visited. Then, family members also began buying me sweatshirts at places they visited and I can now wear a different sweatshirt each day of the month and still not wear them all. I love sweatshirts and though a good many are red or blue I really like my yellow one, my two coral ones, my Bear Hug beige, Hawaiian beige, four white ones, three black ones, purple etc. as well. Since I live in sweat shirt country most of the year and also need beach sweat shirts when traveling south to San Diego they all get lots of use.

Some of the places represented in my collection are Billy-Bobs, Fort Worth, TX; Galveston Island, TX; Coronado, Ca; San Diego, Ca; San Diego Zoo; Lake Tahoe, CA; Lake Almanor, CA (2); Maui; Old Navy (San Diego); Oxford; Yale; Lassen College; BYU; BYU Alumni; Makoshika, Glendive, MT; Silvergate, MT; Yellowstone; Rain Forest Cafe, Denver, CO; Annapolis, MD; Crossing the Chesapeake, MD; Virgin Islands; Los Cabos; New York City; Park City, UT; Okika, HA; Charleston, West VA; Venice, Italy; Vince Buzz (John's trademark); Harrods, London; and UC Davis. Also T Shirts from Guam, Dawson County High School, Greece, Silversea Cruise Line, Parrot Cafe and Pulsifer Ortho which I use at the Gym in the summer.

When Richard passed away each of the grandchildren were given at least one thing from him. However, he was not a collector so there was not a lot to go around besides his ski paraphernalia and his books. With all my collections of Dolls, Paper Dolls, CDs, Videos, DVDs, Sweatshirts, Memory Books, Family Portraits, Scrapbooks and Quilts I am sure a lot of my things will end up in the dump. Ce La Vie!

Carla

My friend Carla whom I had written about from my childhood sent this picture today. She is sitting with her son Ken on her last birthday. She still looks like a young gal and he is very handsome. Thank you, Carla, it is so fun to see friends in our old age who we knew as children.

Unfulfilled Wishes

I think, as adults, we try to fulfill those wishes we had as children that never came true. Which is why Baby John ended up with a red ranch wagon at the age of 3 (Richard's unfulfilled wish) and why I ended up with 7 Shirley Temple dolls in my 50's. It was 1939 and I wanted a Shirley Temple doll with all my heart. My mother knew that and had purchased one (though they were hard to come by). She had hidden it, along with all the other special Christmas presents for the six of us, at the store my dad managed downtown. Just before Christmas, a customer had pleaded with my Dad to sell him a doll and Dad, thinking the doll could be easily replaced, sold it to the man. Mother was furious, so I am told, because not one could be found at that late date. Thus my doll for Christmas was a substitute, building three things into my young mind. 1--You do not get what you wish for 2--Christmas can be very disappointing, so don't get your hopes up 3--If you really want something, you have to get it for yourself. Those three impressions stayed with me the rest of my life.

Mother had a friend named Bertha and she and her husband Bud had never been able to have children. We loved Bertha but her husband was a little gruff and frankly, he scared me. Bertha knew my desire and told me if I would just come to live with her for awhile she would see that I got my Shirley Temple doll. I don't remember discussing this with my mother but I am sure I did. I do remember packing a little suitcase and my brother Dick carrying it for me as we walked about a block to Bertha's house. It was getting dark so it must have been after supper. As we stopped in front of the house and looked up the stairs, there, lighted in the window, was Bud! I can still see him as if it were yesterday. He was sitting in his chair reading his paper. I was frozen. I could not go up those steps. Dick tried to encourage me but I would not move. Finally, with sadness in my heart, but no tears (no one would ever see me cry)I turned and slowly walked back home and I never got my Shirley Temple doll.

Many, many years later after the children were raised, and I was earning money, I told no one, but I starting buying my Shirley Temple doll(s) one by one.

"I'm Going To Buy A Paper Doll"

Was a favorite song in the 50's but I have taken it literally and have collected over 50 books of paper dolls. My favorite is "Gone With the Wind" reprinted for the 50th Anniversary of the movie. Meagan's mother Jennifer bought them for me. The reason I like them so well is they are an exact replica of the kind we played with in my early grade school years.

My first set of dolls was when I was about 5. I remember because we were in the white house on the South Side of Glendive and all my brothers and sisters were in school. It was a large Snow White and all the Seven Dwarfs. I would play school with them all over the living room. You can't find a set like that anymore. Nor can you find the Bride and Groom set we had with all the attendants, flower girls, ring bearer, plus mother and father of the bride.

I probably did not have many of my own, but my friend Donna had many sets and they were all kept neatly in boxes in her closet. She and her sister Pat had a huge double bedroom with beds to the side of the room so we had a lot of room to spread them out. Donna and I would play for hours, she was a year younger, but we had lived next door to each other on the South Side and we followed them to the Heights. Our parents fished together among other things so we were together quite a bit.

Her mother always had homemade vanilla ice cream and Hershey's topping and often home made cookies. It was a nice place to be. Sometimes I would stay till after dark and because I was afraid to walk on the sidewalk by all the bushes and hedges, I would walk for a block in the middle of the street and sing "He Walks With Me", a hymn I had learned at the Methodist Church, and then I would run up the dark hill to our house as fast as I could go.

BYU and FIZZIX

When I attended BYU, there were 5000 students and probably 1/4th the buildings. Now, among other things, BYU is seventh in the world for turning research into products for the marketplace, based on licensing income relative to research expenditures. This is the latest!

BYU food science professor Lynn Ogden invented the “zing” in General Mills' new carbonated yogurt product by experimenting with dry ice and yogurt. His patented tingle is now available in stores all over the country. It has taken 20 years to get from his first idea to actual manufacturing.

"Brigham Young University was a great partner for us," said Lisa Schroeder, R&D Vice President, Yoplait division, General Mills. "The launch of Fizzix(TM) carbonated yogurt is an example of successfully bringing together two parties with complementary capabilities and resources to introduce a novel product to consumers."

Besides this The Wall Street Journal ranked Brigham Young University’s Master of Business Administration program first among regional schools in the paper’s 2007 report of top business programs, up from third in 2006 and sixth in 2005. The Marriott School was also ranked number two among the best schools for hiring graduates with strong ethical standards behind Dartmouth College.

It's A Small World

When Lea was born about 7 1/2 years ago Camber chose the name of her mother Mary's best friend from college days in Utah, Leah (but spelled it differently). She had said she really admired Leah and loved the name. I had mentioned at the time that my first baby sitter with Baby John in Pacific Beach was a Leah and she was a really special girl, beautiful and smart.

This last year when Camber was looking for a cleaning lady her mother Mary suggested she talk to Leah's brother Tracy in San Marcos as he knew some ladies who hired out. In their conversation Camber mentioned her mother-in-law and Tracy was incredulous. "Janet is your husband's mother? You are married to that Jimmy. I know Janet, we lived near them in Pacific Beach. I even babysat Jimmy!" She gave Tracy my phone number and he immediately called me and we talked over the 60's, when we lived in Pacific Beach, and where we had been since that time.

Thus we found that the Leah from college days of Grandma Mary and the Leah from babysitting days of Grandma Janet was one and the same person! It is a very small world, indeed, and Lea has a beautiful name, named after a very beautiful lady.

Oh, No, Snow in September!

And last year, it didn't come till November...Oh, well, as

Annie sang, "The sun'll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow, there'll be SUN!"

Le Cage

While watching "The War" the other night I made cages to plant my lily bulbs in so the squirrels wouldn't get them. Now I find out the holes are about eight times too big so it may all be for naught!!!

The Ken Burns special on World War II on PBS has been excellent. Since I was only in 3rd grade on Dec 7, 1941 (Pearl Harbor) I have learned so much. It is probably the one and only time our country has come together as ONE! It helps you to understand how necessary that war was but how unprepared we were and the terrible mistakes that were made. You also see how American ingenuity and drive made us into the best manufacturing country in the world by the end of the war. One airplane plant was putting out one plane every hour!!! It is a must see, if you haven't had a chance to watch.

Myrna never signed!

Myrna called me to tell me that she never signed the LTL pledge to not smoke or drink! I didn't remember this. Mrs. Lowe, a church biddy, called and reported to Myrna's mother that Myrna had refused to sign the pledge. Her mother asked if Myrna had said why. "She said she didn't know what she was going to do when she grew up." "There's your answer!" her Mom said and that was that. And Mrs. Lowe never spoke to Myrna's mother again.

The Specialist

Maria showed me her new office digs at the college the other night. Very impressive!! Maria is the Payroll Specialist at the college and from the little experience I had of doing payroll, this is most impressive to me. The detail of data and rules and applying them all correctly would be so difficult.

But Maria has always been an expert on detail. She worked as an assistant for Richard from the time she was in high school and he always said she was the best he had. In the meantime she also pursues her 4 yr college degree and has only about a year left. Congrats, Maria, you are amazing.

We also went to a Concert on the Green, which I enjoyed, since it was Country Music. They were actually very good. I have always enjoyed the landscaping at the college, very beautiful, especially in the fall with the change of colors.

Fall

It's that time of year again, cool nights and the furnace turning itself on, switching from silk to flannel pajamas, transforming bedrooms from a cool summer look to a cozy, warm winter took, burning a wood fire while watching TV at night, and yet, Indian Summer days. I love it. Today I readied my gardens for the new bulbs that have come and trying to make a plan to keep them from the squirrels. Between the birds, the squirrels, and deer the survival rate around here is about less than 50% I think. I wonder about more drastic measures...B B gun? What do you think--would it scare anybody, besides me?

Heartaches

The word Heartaches"

reminded me of my friend Myrna who I stay with when I travel back and forth to San Diego. She lives just off the freeway in a beautiful home in Manhattan Beach. This song

"Heartaches" was one of her favorites in high school when she was going through a heartbreak romance. She also loved "My Blue Heaven". Funny how songs remind you of people and places. Here she is with Eddie, a neighbor in Glendive, at our 2000 high school reunion. They were not a romantic couple but were the best jitter buggers in our high school!

Myrna had to work from an early age in Kaplan's, the dress shop next to our store Anderson's, so she missed out on a lot of the after school happenings. She was such a great clerk because she is a people person and took an interest in all of their customers. Myrna is such a people person that she had and still has friends of every age. She is everyone's best friend, with a very compassionate heart and kindness for all. She has a fantastic memory and knows all about each of us. We all think she is our best friend... and she is!

Myrna had some heartbreaking moments in her life but persevered over all. Unfortunately the "love of her life" passed away in 1993 and they did not have enough years but she was so happy those years together in Manhattan Beach. Now she lives alone with a daughter, son-in-law and two granddaughters near and two stepsons and their wives and two grandsons a little further away.

Myrna had the smallest waist of all of us. We made these ballernina skirts that were a full circle and so fun to dance in. Myrna's mother worked but I remember her being so fun to be around, always laughing and joking. Myrna and her mother made this fabulous boiled white frosting and chocolate cake and the best divinity. Myrna is still a great chef today and it is always a pleasure to eat whatever she is dishing up. My favorite outing with Myrna at her church was Easter Sunrise Service and then to the basement of the church for scrambled eggs, sausage, hot cross buns and orange juice and then we would go wake up our Catholic friends...Even though we had our own church in our home on Sunday nights, I went to the Methodist Church with Myrna. Her aunt was our Sunday School teacher when we were in grade school.

A really fun adventure in junior high was to travel by open truck (We were all in the back--against the law today) all the way from Glendive across Montana to Livingston for a Church Camp.

It was really fun--here we are discussing the weighty things of the world, Raine, Myrna, Myself and Eddie. On the way back to Glendive the back of my jeans came unsewed and so I tied my fringe jacket around my waist and said I was too hot to wear it--actually it was freezing in the open truck.

We also joined LTL (Loyal Temperance League) and signed our names that we would not smoke or drink. I was probably one of the few who never did.

A Broken Heart

Tonight I was remembering the day I left my Rancho Bernardo home, after turning over the keys to the realtor. Everything was ready for the new buyer. I had been a widow for about two months. I looked a wreck, I was a wreck. Brian, my realtor and friend, looked at me and said, "Janet, I'm worried about you." I said, "Brian, I have a broken heart."

Oh, I had had a broken heart before. I remember so well as a freshman in college walking with a couple roommates and we were talking about boys and love and all that stuff. And I said, "I hope I can have a broken heart someday." That is probably one of the more stupid things I have said in my life. Several years later, I did have that broken heart. The sleepless nights, the depression, the pit in your stomach that never goes away, the extreme sadness, the loneliness. I don't remember any one thing that I did to get over that broken heart but moving to California and starting a new life, with new friends and exciting new places probably helped a lot.

A few years later, another heartbreak. I went away to summer school this time for classes I hadn't had time for in college. New friends, new faces, new experiences. Eventually I healed and moved on. But I found that a little of those heart breaks always remain with you to pop up and cloud thoughts and give a jab of pain from time to time.

But never had I had heart break like this--the death of my husband, the loss of our "retirement home", a complete change to life as I had known it for the last 37 years. I think I had lots of help, but I couldn't tell you exactly what I did to recover from that heart break, if, indeed, I have recovered, as I don't think you ever do completely. I prayed a lot and the Lord was with me, directing me, giving me strength. And then a few years later, there was the loss of my son, and more heartbreak.

I remember one time my friend Marta heard me fretting about something and she said, "Janet, is there anything you can do about it?" And I had to say that no, there was not. She said, "Then stop worrying about it." Sounds simple, doesn't it?

Today I see the internet has all kinds of help for getting over a broken heart. I checked out a few and they are interesting. One in particular had stories written by people suffering from broken hearts and it was sad to read them and know there wasn't anything anyone can really do for them. 

 Another site had 5 steps, one of which was specific music to listen to--none of which I was familiar with, but music played a big part in my recovery and why I have two trunks of videos and DVDs and over 200 cds.

One thing I know for sure, broken hearts are inevitable in our life and we all need whatever help we can get as we suffer through them and move on to new experiences, new friends and possibly more heartbreak-----Another kind of painful heartache is to watch a loved one suffer and know the pain they are in and not be able to do anything about it.