Congregational Church

When we moved to Glendive, Montana in 1934 my parents found a church they wanted us to attend.  This is as I remember it.  We would attend Christmas Eve and Sunday meetings on the main floor and they had nice wooden benches.  My Dad sang in the choir.  In the basement they would have Bible School in the summer and I liked the activities very much.  It is the Congregational Church and we could walk there from our house on the South Side.

Anderson's Store in Glendive, Montana

I like this picture taken in Glendive several years after I went to college.  This is Main Street and there is my Dad's store.  Lots of memories here.

Rescue

I am just finishing Anita Shreve's newest book "Rescue".  It is very poignant to me as I just had a friend tell me about her daughter and then her granddaughter becoming alcoholics.

The thing that is interesting about the book is that the daughter who supposedly became an alcoholic in high school had not  been living with her alcoholic mother after the age of 2 so--she could not have learned the behavior from her mother and her father was not a drinker.
 
On a side note: One of the medics explained the situation about alcohol in marriage.  He said you start out your married life with romantic dinners with wine and like it so well you continue.  And then one of you eventually has a problem with alcohol and becomes alcoholic. This is the problem with having that first drink.  You never know who will be able to take it or leave it and who cannot leave it alone.  In the book, Webster discovered his wife was drinking whiskey while nursing her baby. 

Although the daughter does not see the mother again till she is 17, she knows from age 12 what her mother was.  The question remains, did the daughter drink because of a physical dependence because of her genes or did she believe in her mind that she had no other option than to be "just like her mother".   In either case she would have to totally stop drinking to overcome the problem.

The following is from the A.D.A.M Medical Encyclopedia:

Alcohol dependence; Alcohol abuse; Problem drinking; Drinking problem

Last reviewed: March 20, 2011.

Alcoholism (alcohol dependence) and alcohol abuse are two different forms of problem drinking.

• Alcoholism is when you have signs of physical addiction to alcohol and continues to drink, despite problems with physical health, mental health, and social, family, or job responsibilities. Alcohol may control your life and relationships.
• Alcohol abuse is when your drinking leads to problems, but not physical addiction.

There is no known cause of alcohol abuse or alcoholism. Research suggests that certain genes may increase the risk of alcoholism, but which genes and how they work are not known.

How much you drink can influence your chances of becoming dependent. Those at risk for developing alcoholism include:

• Men who have 15 or more drinks a week
• Women who have 12 or more drinks a week
• Anyone who has five or more drinks per occasion at least once a week

One drink is defined as a 12-ounce bottle of beer, a 5-ounce glass of wine, or a 1 1/2-ounce shot of liquor.
You have an increased risk for alcohol abuse and dependence if you have a parent with alcoholism.
You may also be more likely to abuse alcohol or become dependent if you:

• Are a young adult under peer pressure
• Have depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, or schizophrenia
• Have easy access to alcohol
• Have low self-esteem
• Have problems with relationships
• Live a stressful lifestyle
• Live in a culture alcohol use is more common and accepted

Alcohol abuse is rising. Around 1 out of 6 people in the United States have a drinking problem.
.................................
One of the men observed in Sunday School Class that the reason we should not become addicted to anything is that the addiction numbs our ability to recognize and receive spiritual truths. 

A Night Out

I actually had a bit of a social life this week.  One of the new members of the branch invited the ladies to a dinner and game playing at their cabin being constructed in Mineral.

It turned out to be a very enjoyable evening, interesting talk on the way over and back and fun to see a beautiful cabin with the lovely Christmas decorations still up.  The cabin is A frame with a very high ceiling and there was an amazingly  tall Christmas tree all the way to the rafters.

We were served mahi mahi, which was so delicious, and even homemade Key Lime pie which was wonderful, too!  Games were dominoes and a block balancing game.

We should do this more often--only two of use were widows though--maybe not so easy for the others to get away.  Right now there is no snow so very easy to travel anywhere.

Happy Birthday Dad!

This is the way I remember my Dad looking a lot when I was in high school. Casually dressed. He was always slim and did not ever seem to have a weight problem!!! He never went bald but always had a little curl in his hair. Quite a good looking man. You can't see it here but he generally had a smile on his face for everyone. Did he raise his voice, a few times, not much. He loved my Mom alot and us, too, and it showed. He died when Jimmy was a baby, so he did not get to enjoy his grandchildren very long. Happy Birthday, Dad!

20 Seconds of Courage

I really liked that new mantra to live by from the movie "We Bought a Zoo".  We just need 20 Seconds of Courage to often change our life.  I like that.



I have been so impressed with what I have read about George Albert Smith, the eighth president of the Church.  It was in 1947 when I was visiting in Utah and I was walking with my Aunt to go into the Tabernacle for the Centennial Celebration of the Pioneers entering Utah.  For some reason we were walking alone, was some of my family already inside or was I alone with my aunt??  I am not sure but I remember we were hurrying because it was late.  However, my aunt steered me over to an old man who was shaking the hand of a little girl with her mother.  It was President George Albert Smith on his way in to the north entrance. But he took the time to shake my hand as well.  No one else was around.  From what I have been reading this is the kind of person he was, a very kind and loving man who always had time for others.



It was interesting that in 1951 after President Smith died I was also in the right place at the right time.  I was a freshman at BYU and President David O. McKay had come to be with V P Harry Truman as he spoke to us at the football stadium.  I was in a center bench near the front and as soon as it was over I was able to be one of the first to go stand by Pres. McKay and although I did not shake his hand, I was able to touch his arm.  I remember I was thrilled as I had heard so much about him from my Mom.  He was very available to us all.  It was always amusing to me that none of the students were interested in V P Truman who left the stadium in a limousine with his Secret Service men  surrounding him.  I was not aware of any protection around Pres Mc Kay but there may have been some, however he was quickly surrounded by students.

My mother had been a friend of his daughters and had told us stories about his family.  The story I visualized most was him walking my Mom and his daughter to a church dance.  I think my Mom patterned her child raising techniques after Emma Riggs McKay, who wrote about how to raise your children peacefully, and my Mom never did speak to us in a loud voice in all the years I remember.  My sisters say the same thing and we all marvel at it.

Then in the 70's when I was Stake Primary President and we were to go to General Primary Conference we had prepared a birthday card for President Spencer W. Kimball.  It was very large and signed by all the children in the stake.  President Naylor, who had grown up in the same town as President Kimball, said he would try and get us an appointment so we could personally give it to him.  He did and we did and he shook each of our hands and looked us directly in the eye and talked a second or so to each of us.  It was very emotional, he had such a spirit about him.


One other experience I had was when we were preparing the meal the Saturday night before Stake Conference.  President Naylor would have a special dinner for the visiting General Authorities and the Stake Presidency and High Council and their wives.  The Stake auxillaries would take turns preparing the meals.  This was before Howard Hunter was the Prophet and President but he was an Apostle and he took the time to come into the kitchen and personally address each one of us.  Here again, such a kind and spiritual man.  I remember speaking directly to him and shaking his hand.



Another General Authority I conversed with was when Richard was in the Stake High Council and we were to attend the Saturday night dinner.  For some reason Richard could not be there and the wife of the visiting General Authority S. Dilworth Young was not there either so President Naylor asked me to sit by him.  I think President Naylor knew I could carry on a conversation with him or maybe he felt sorry for me being alone.   Elder Young was very kindly and talkative.  He had two pills he had to take and he said one was for him and one was for Huldah, his wife.  I later read a story about his wife in the Ensign.  She had been a single woman all her life and then after his first wife died she married him.  He was an older man, born five years before my mother and he died a few years later in 1981.

Anyway, I do not know why '20 Seconds of Courage' made me think of those experiences but in all cases if I had hesitated to act or speak up I would not have had the opportunity to meet and/or talk with these exemplary men.

Craig's Graduation Pictures!

 

Craig graduated from BYU in April 2011 but I didn't have his graduation pictures at that time so I will publish them in the 2012 book!  Congrats again, Craig.

Keira Tries Walking on the Beach

The Mantras I Live By

I have had some mantras I try to follow faithfully.  "Do What You Have To Do When It Has To Be Done" has been with me since Sister Holladay proclaimed it in a First Ward Sunday School Class in San Diego in 56 or 57.

"Never Assume" is something I imbued in all of my loan processors and loan officers when I was heading Choice Mortgage in the loan brokerage business.  I find it is also a truism in Suduko, something I have been doing for about the past five years.

A newer one that is so important is "Always Hold On When Going Down Stairs".  This means I cannot carry anything with two hands and go down stairs.  This has been in my life since I slipped on the stairs two years ago and dislocated my shoulder.

"Step Carefully" and "Eat Slowly" are new ones I am adding.  If I don't pay attention and trip I can fall so easily.  And if I don't pay attention to what and how I am eating I can suddenly have something lodged in my throat and it is very painful to release.

Growing Old is an interesting time which those who die young never get to experience.  You need a sense of humor and a great appreciation for what it is like to be a toddler.

Hardy Family at Park City

What a beautiful picture of Jacob, Camber, James, Kelsi, Lea, Jimmy and Camber's Dad Greg.

Martin Hardy Family at Park City

Wish I could name them all.  I know Susan Sutehall is in the purple on the left.  Nice looking family!

More Pulsipher Christmas 2012

What a beautiful family amongst the beautiful colors.

Just Do the Best You Can

Today I put all the Christmas things in their containers and Michael will help put them on the shelves when he returns.  He is in Sacramento for the night and I will clean good tomorrow and then get on with something more interesting.
I talked a long time to Marjorie yesterday and she is going through what I was going through.  Reason tells you that you should not feel so depressed but you just can't reason yourself out of it.  I ran across this quote in The Ensign today and thought it makes so much sense in light of my experience the other day.  "Just do your best every day" (and don't dwell on the negative) I might add.  This was the quote from Elder Russell Ballard.

“Not long ago, one of my children said, ‘Dad, sometimes I wonder if I will ever make it.’  The answer I gave to her is the same as I would give to you.  If you have had similar feelings,  Just do the very best you can each day.  Do the basic things and, before you realize it, your life will be full of spiritual understandiong that will confirm to you that your Heavenly father loves you.  When a person knows this, then life will be full of purpose and meaning, making balance easier to maintain.”

 

Christmas Day, Part 2, Lake Almanor, 2011



I had made some of Ray Collins Swedish Meatballs and decided to cook them in the Chili Sauce, Grape Jelly as Carole and Jane told me about. 

 Michael bought some really spicy Chili Sauce for me and WOW did it make them good.  That is a wonderful meatball recipe.  I also made some of Michael's quiche with some ham leftover from the Branch party.  

Michael planned to make some Ramaki when Mitch, Melissa, 

and Sean  came from their Dad's house.

But he did have his Cheesecake ready.  We were just not sure how it would be after the pan had leaked so much liquid.  Actually it looked a little strange but was still delicious. 

 Michael also unwrapped his three presents from Mark, Barry, and his grandparents and he liked the shirts and hats and money.

I watched "The Nutcracker" all afternoon as performed by the New York Ballet and it was superb.  I think I enjoyed it more than I ever had before.  Camber and the boys and Kelsi called so I enjoyed talking to them.  Linda sent pictures of the children in the hats and scarves I knitted for them.


The gate closed at 5 so Melissa called and I went down to let her and Sean in.  But Mitch had gone home to get some things and did not have a phone!!! 

 Melissa went back to the gate a half hour later and waited and waited and finally came back.  A little bit later Mitch and Bruce came through the back door.  They had left the car outside the gate and taken the shortcut but it was so dark they had a very hard time.  When there is no moon shining it is almost impossible  to see without a flashlight on the Peninsula. 





Anyway Michael made his treat even though it burned a little and they ate our goodies and then hurried home, except for Mitch who stayed the night and played games with Mike.  Note to myself: Never put burned bacon items with sugary sauce on a paper towel.

It was a good holiday.  Melissa brought three presents from Crystal, Mark's wife,  though supposedly the peanut brittle was suggested by Mitch.  Anyway more chocolates and good hot chocolate for us.

Christmas Day, 2011

Christmas Day I awoke early and fed Bandido and sent him outside and then because I stayed up so late I went back to bed for another hour of sleep.  Oops, I awoke at 9:20.  Ordinarily if I did that I would say it is too hard to get myself together and be late for Church when it is only an hour anyway.

But I really wanted to go so I quickly dressed and made myself up (hair and make up looked not too good as I saw later in Melissa's pictures).  But I am so glad I hurried and only missed part of the first song.  Jane Brown's son and Kaylene, home from BYU, did some beautiful musical numbers.  Kaylene gave me a big hug after and is so happy to be at BYU.  She and I had talked on the same Sunday this past year and talked afterward a long time about going to BYU.  She looked more beautiful than ever.  Her sister is looking so beautiful, too, but I think when Kaylene is home Kristin takes a back seat and lets Kaylene get all the glory.

Anyway Ron Martin gave a good message and then BP Goolsby gave A Christmas Story.  It was about how life is like a puzzle and sometimes there is a missing piece and then when we find it, it fills and completes our life.  He told about the death of his second son at four months and how it hurt them and their marriage and the struggle they had and they decided to adopt because Darcy had diabetes and pregnancy was so hard on her.  The next year they unexcpectedly had the opportunity to get Josie a year before they thought they would be allowed.  She is part black but as soon as Darcy held her, she said This is our Josie!  And she has been such a blessing in their  life.  Darcy died when Josie was in Jr High and she was so strong through it all.  John said he asked her how she did it and she said,  "I don't know, Dad, I just do it."  She is a beautiful girl who married this past year.  

I found out his son Jesse writes and so I went on line and read a couple of his short stories and he is quite a writer.  He is writing a novel.  He is not active in the Church but has certainly done well in his education and is working at the pentagon now.  He has a lovely wife and two childdren.  Josie married in the Oakland Temple.  John is married to a nonmember but he said he felt Darcy picked her out for him.  She is such a lovely lady and is always a wonderful hostess to the Branch when we go to their home for parties but she does not come to Church for anything.  What a complicated life Bro Goolsby must have to maintain the balance.

2011 Pix

Pulsipher Christmas

Christmas Eve 2011

Christmas Eve started out with Mike and I making a cheesecake.  This is Mike's thing but he was leaving soon for Susanville to spend the Eve with his Dad and other siblings, so I did the crust.  I noticed that the flat bottom on the spring form pan didn't lay as flat as usual and I pushed it down as best I could but didn't think much more about it.  After it had been cooking for about a half hour the smoke alarm went off and smoke was pouring from the oven.  I couldn't imagine what this liquid was on the bottom of the oven because I had made cookies earlier and hadn't noticed anything.  Anyway, bottom line, I had to keep cleaning the oven and turning the oven off and on.   (Michael had left by now  and it was for me to finish!!)  I guess it was seepage from the cheesecake but it was clear and tasted like nothing.  We will see today whether it even completely cooked, whether it is too dry or what.  Oh, yes, and it did crack horribly on the top.  This is a no, no, for a good cheesecake. 

Then Lea called and asked if I had seen the movies of them skiing at Deer Valley and I then watched four movies of them skiing.  When I talked to Kelsi she said her Mom was teaching her to ski and she was just whizzing down it looked like.  And Jimmy went whizzing past her.  This was their first time skiing ever.  Yesterday they did the bottom of the hill for learning.  Kelsi said you just make your skis like a slice of pizza and go down.  No Fear, that girl!!  Lea looked good in her white jacket and Camber was on the sidelines skiing down looking lovely in a white ski outfit.

What did I eat, my favorites, I cooked a butternut squash and mashed it up well with lots of butter, had salami and cheese on a roll, and summer sausage and cheese on Ritz crackers with diet root beer and finished it off with peppermint ice cream, homemade ginger cookies and cinnamon bears.  Yes, the diet starts on Monday.

I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" which I hadn't seen in years and forgetting I had it on Roku I watched the longer version with all the commercials and that lasted until past midnight with stopping for phone calls from Maria and Linda and looking at both my Christmas books (from 1961 to 2010) and reading all the cards I had sent over the years.  Some of them were some pretty good poetry and some were pretty messy but it certainly gave me a time capsule of my life.  It was a pretty good life according to the Christmas cards.

Three observations:

1-In a Christmas card I had had the children draw Christmas pictures on and reprinted when Jimmy was 3, Maria 6, Linda 7 and John 9, John had drawn a little balloon over Baby Jesus with a line down to him as if this is what He was thinking about and in the balloon  was a drawing of the Crucifixion!!!!!  I wonder if I really noticed that before and asked him about it.  Amazing how children's minds work.   Linda had a very neat drawing of the Nativity scene and she said she remembered being very disappointed because she thought they were going to be printed in "The Children's Friend"!!!  Maria had a Santa Claus and Jimmy had something that looked like the manger.  Interestingly I just read that the manger would not have been wooden as has always been depicted, but it would have been made of stone.  In fact it said Joseph was not a carpenter but a stone mason!!!

2-In our 1981 card there was a picture of Meagan when she was around 1 year old and she had a big smile and showed her teeth which looked so much like Keira's Christmas picture.  Meagan had a little more hair but other than that, very similar.

3-After my 1997 card telling about the death of Richard at Thanksgiving time 1996 there was a beautiful letter from Sherry expressing her gratitude for living with us so long and everything Richard had done for her and expressed some  beautiful sentiments about him.   It was sad thinking they have both passed away.  In the 2004 card I didn't specifically address the death of John except as a byline, it was as if I thought everyone already knew about it.  I thought that was strange.

The Christmas cards also helped me to get straight in my mind when I had traveled where with SBA,  I do get those trips and years confused in my mind.

All in all,  it was not a lonely Christmas Eve sitting by the fire but it passed almost too quickly, just as my life passed too quickly as I viewed it through my Christmas cards and pictures.

Christmas in San Diego

Pulsipher Christmas Morning, 2011

Fun unwrapping presents in Las Vegas at Kristi's house on Christmas morning.

Fuqua Family Christmas 2011



My sister Carole's Family Christmas in Billings, Montana and Stephanie's in Livingston, Montana

Sunlight

 Today as I opened the blinds to let the sunshine in my dining room window, I was reminded that in the year 2000 I had gone to a man's house to pick up my census supplies so I could work for the 2000 Census (this was before my SBA job).  I loved the way the sun shined into his dining room window and I wished I could have that.

At the time the lot next to me was vacant and covered with very tall and thickly growing pine trees.   I could not even get reception from any of the TV companies. 

In 2005 the trees were mostly all cut down to make way for a new home.  Voila, sunshine in my dining room!!!

More Blessings

James gave me extra money for Christmas, how wonderful.

With the extra money I may be able to pay most of my HOA, that will be a big relief, I have been so worried about that!!!  Some people think it is silly to live in the club and have that cost but for security alone, I think it is well worth it.  It is a shame I do not use all the facilities and social aspects but...  It is nice I can walk across the streeet at high noon in my leopard  flannel pajamas to the postbox and not have to worry about anyone seeing me!

It has been so cold, I am so glad I discovered how wonderful it is to wear my long ski underwear every day and night.  Yesterday I made Linda a box from London pix.  It will be a delayed Christmas gift.  If only I had the boxes and calendars I could make Meagan and Camber one, too.  I used the box of the Vera Wang perfume Linda gave me and found the London calendar at Walmart.  Since we took a trip to London together it seemed appropriate.  I like the way it looks.

Michael and I are trying to decide what to have for Christmas afternoon snacking.  I have the meatballs and he is doing his favorite appetizers and making cheesecake and we still have the summer sausage and cheese.  I wonder about Meliss and Mitch???

A Wondrous Thing Happened to Me (Christmas Letter to my Children) 2011

Dear Linda and Gary, Maria and Johnny, James and Camber,


Saturday morning a wondrous thing happened to me. I had been feeling so dark, so discouraged, so hopeless and I just couldn't pull myself out of it.  It had gone on for months.  I had been seeking answers from the Lord and they were not coming. Friday night I pleaded again and cried for help.


Saturday morning the answer came. It was like I was getting patient instruction from a loving parent. It was:


"Janet, do you remember when ....and I did this for you... and do you remember this...and this... and He went through all the things I knew but was refusing in my dark mind to remember. All the many times the Lord has answered my prayers, has forgiven me, has carried me when I couldn't handle it all, has actually saved me from my myself and directed me down another path, all the many mini-miracles and tender mercies and all the loving people in my life, all the blessings, lifesaving experiences and learning experiences, and actual miracles.


The way I had been feeling was that I had had too much steeped on me and it wasn't fair and why didn't the Lord love me when I had tried my best to do what was required of me and why this and why that and my complaints went on and on.   I couldn't see where I was going from here, there was no joy in my life, I had nothing to show for all my work and struggle.  I was a failure and unloved.


And after the Lord instructed me it was like a great weight was lifted from me and He reminded me that everything was going to be all right and I should have peace and love and faith in my mind and heart instead of fear and doubt and discouragement. He reminded me that He had always been there and He would always be there. That we all have different experiences and what is really important and what doesn't matter and I should recognize the difference, I shouldn't be confused and doubt, I knew better. He was there always and all was well, He assured me He knew I was doing my best and I had done well. (I was also made aware of when I had failed to be my best but the pain from those experiences was lifted).


It was like a panorama of all my blessings of which my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are my greatest blessing now and I should just love and enjoy them and all the experiences of life that are still available to me. My home and the blessings of it are one. He reminded me of the many people in my life who had taught me, helped me, showed me the way and how blessed I was to have had them in my life. Richard as the father to my children and a faithful, loving, companion was one of my greatest blessings and I should not minimize that. The many experiences I had were for my instruction and not a curse in my life.


It all happened so fast, was I awake or still in sleep? I am not sure. I just know I was feeling joy and peace when it was over and it seemed I had so many things to do and I was excited to get on with my life and I felt such a strong knowledge of the Lord and the atonement and the plan of salvation and I was so grateful to have the gospel in my life and all it had brought to me. And all those bad feelings I had had for certain experiences were gone. I should have written it all down immediately. But what I have now is the feeling of peace and faith in my Savior and a desire to have more gratitude and a greater appreciation for each of you in my life. The fear I had been carrying for the future is gone. 

I am so thankful to have each of you helping me to endure to the end.  Each of you seems to have a different gift to give…  I know that life is good and we have much happiness in the simplest experiences we share. All is well. I will do the best I can and I know the Lord will make up the rest (probably through you). I love you all. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives.

Thank you all for being so patient with me.  Merry Christmas 2011.

Christmas Party in Rancho Santa Fe I Missed

White Elephant and Tacky Christmas Sweater Party at Hardy Home 2011

Amy Graduates from BYU

 

Crazy for Musicals

I just read about a musical I would love to see.  "Crazy for You" is a musical adapted from the Gershwin hit in 1930 of "Crazy Girl" but they have added a lot of other songs from other musicals.  It was first produced in 1992 Broadway and is now running for another year at least at a small theater, so it has had a long run.

If I had money, that is what I would do, go to New York to see a lot of musicals, go to Branson and see all the shows there, go to Nashville and see shows there.  I do love musicals.

Slooh and the Lunar Eclipse

Slooh is on my computer and you can watch interesting things happening in the skies.  This morning I woke up to watch the lunar eclipse.  However, as I looked outside at 5:30 AM I could see the crescent moon very bright in my own sky.  It was shining between two large pines and as I manuevered back and forth across my patio glass door I could see it get smaller and smaller in the next half hour.   I kept going back and forth between the real thing and my computer.  I could not distinguish the redness as it was covered, just the darkeness of the moon.

Eventually I couldn't see it at all and the early morning was so dark.  I could not see to the edge of the deck even.  Anyway I saw the Lunar Eclipse and Mike must have been traveling while it happened.  Because my noise had waked him, (he hates that), he decided to make his run to the ATM while he was awake and come back to sleep a few more hours before work.  He was not interested in the lunar eclipse at all!

Life

Bad news this morning, my SBA friend Bill has fallen and has to start all over again with physical therapy, he can't even stand,  He had been recovering well from a previous stroke and his wife Susan had  quit work to be with him 24/7.  Their life changed so dramatically from their skiing, traveling, full life.  Bill was such a healthy, physically fit man, a good Christian man who cared so much for family and friends.    Why we always wonder do good people have bad things happen to them.  He has spent a lot of time in physical therapy already and now he has to start all over.  He won't be able to be a ski instructor with his friends this year.  Even though he was only two years younger than me he was fit for this and loved it.

On the other hand I received a Christmas card from Richard's dear friend Vernon.  His dear wife died about the time Richard did.  He is at least 10 years older than I am.  He married last year  to the lady who lived across the street and is very happy.  What is amazing to me is how busy and active he has always been and still is.  Travels around the country in his camper for months every summer visiting friends and fishing.  His wife went with him this year.  Each week they entertain family at home and out.  They make regular trips to the hospital to cheer others and to the graveyard with flowers for loved ones.   They go to shows and other entertainment.  He lives like a young man, loves life and is extremely healthy.  Interestingly, as wealthy as he has always been, he has lived in a mobile home for years so a house and yard have not stolen his time of doing exactly what he wants to do with his life.  He is even writing western stories now, too.

Then their is my dear friend Myrna who has a problem with falling and so her 3 million dollar home in Manhattan Beach sits empty while she is in a convalescent home!!!  Myrna loved to dance, but no more.  She has lots of money but no place to use it.  She has always had many friends but can't go visit them or entertain them like she used to do.

When I walked into the Dollar Store the other day I glanced at a lady who had just come out.  She was much younger than I but very ragged and unkempt, very sad.  Looked like she was homeless.

Yesterday on the Dr. Phil show a very impressive 41 year old woman and her 37 yr old brother met the man who had killed their parents.  The woman was 7 when her mother was shot and she had to testify against the man in court.  Her father died 7 years later from injuries sustained that fateful day a drunken friend shot both of the parents.  The daughter said her father just could not live without his mother.  He had been a pastor and the woman and brother said their parents taught them about love and forgiveness.  The woman and man were amazing in their attitude of forgiveness and life skills they lived.   Her husband said she is the strongest person he knows.  She has written a book about it and the hateful third party person who had caused it all.  The book is called "The Devil in Pew 7".

Everyone has such different experiences and challenges, such different lives to live and who is to say who is doing the best job with what they were given.  As my granddaughter Meagan says, "everyone is just doing the best they can".  We like to believe that but life seems a lot harder for some people than others.  As Sister Parmely once said, "The Lord never said life would be fair, He just said He would be with you."  I hang on to that.

Little Things Mean A Lot

Several years ago I sat by a lady at a show in San Francisco and she talked about her long silk underwear her children had given her.  I now wear mine every day and heavier ones at night.  I love them.

For months I tried to find my favorite Loreal lipstick shade but finally decided it was discontinued and it was futile.  Than I discovered drugstore.com online.  They not only had the shade but at a reduced price and would ship free if I bought four of them.  Why not?  At least I won't have to buy any for awile.  So is it a discontinued shade and they just bought the left overs?  Or is it fake?  Or what?  I don't know but I am happy to find out about drugstore.com.  It appears to be the real thing, I received them in the mail.

Does it really work?  I have been eating a lot of grapefruit and voila I have lost a few pounds.  I am just not as hungry as usual.  How can that be???   Maybe I better buy some more grapefruit, I have already finished a big bag and that is only eating one a day.  I should be eating a half of one before every meal according to the article I read.  Maybe it really does diminish your appetite.

Bent Road

I've had a hard time focusing on a book lately,  starting them, putting them down, not listening to the audio, forgetting about the book, losing interest, etc. etc.

Then I started 'Bent Road' and listened all night and day, what a great book, the way the secrets unfolded, the suspense, the horror, the way I could envision everything so well.  It  will make a great movie and I am sure it will  be one.  The amazing part... this is the author Lori Roy's first book!

Great read, wish it wasn't her first book, I want to read more!

in Keeping with the Tradition

Only a small batch but something different.  These are gluten free.  Maria gave me a cook book that uses potatoe starch and cornstarch in lieu of the usual rice flour for gluten free.  However, they are really good tasting so I am happy about that.  I also made some cinnamon bread yesterday and shortbread cookies, all with the potatoe and corn starch and they are very tasty with a great texture.

Keira Goes to the Desert

Oh, my goodness...

Queen of the World

So peaceful out here.

I need those sunglasses, Mom.

15 Years Ago Richard Passed Away

This is Richard, when he was 45 or so. 15 years ago today he left this earth at age 65. Wonder how he is doing and when I will join him. I heard today that the only whole heart is a broken one. I will never forget that day I left our Rancho Bernardo house for the last time and I told my realtor Brian I knew what it was to have a broken heart. I also heard today that when we come into this life our hands are clenched because we think we need to get everything we can and when we leave this life our hands are open because we can't take anything with us. Richard didn't have much to take with him but he gave so much to others while he was here. A good man. I miss him so much.

Black Friday

Black Friday was no shopping day for me.  Instead I cleaned up the kitchen a little, slept a lot, and caugtht up on TV shows.  I had recorded Lady Gaga's Thanksgiving special and it was really good.  Unbelievably I had never heard her sing.  What a wonderful voice.  She sang a song from my youth that Betty Hutton used to sing "Wonderful You Walked By"--not sure that is the title but I know all the words and used to love to sing it.  Haven't heard anyone else do it since Betty Hutton.  Lady Gaga is an amazing talent.

Thanksgiving in Lake Almanor

Tuesday night we had to change plans to meet everyone at Tahoe because of some  Melissa car problems.  So I quickly took my Christmas turkey from the freezer and started Operation Thanksgiving 2011 at Home.  We had to bring up an extra table from the garage.

 Christmas one table

Thanksgiving on the other

Michael drove to Chico Wednesday afternoon to pick up Melissa and Sean, Maria and Johnny drove from Tahoe after just arriving there the night before, Mitch drove from Susanville, and Matt drove from northern Tahoe.

The dinner was fantastic.  Melissa made cranberry pecan pie which I really liked from the Lion House Pie Book and she also made pumpkin which was good, too.  Melissa also brought the rolls (I burnt the bottoms a little) and she made the mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and brought veggie appetizers.  Mike made an  excellent cheesecake and his famous Ramaki appetizers.   Maria made the sweet potatoes and stuffing and Johnny carved the turkey.   How did I used to cook a Thanksgiving dinner by myself when the children were little?  I can't imagine.

Matt brought flowers for all the ladies.   At the dinner table we played an interesting game that Camber had given Maria and learned a little bit more about each other.  Maria had brought leftover containers so everyone could take some food home.  At about sixish Mitch headed back to Susanville, Maria and Johnny headed  back to Tahoe for another couple nights and Matt and Mike drove Melissa and Sean back to Chico and then drove back up here.  A lot of driving today!

While everyone else was chatting and such Johnny was busy fixing the broken handle on my microwave and the hinges on the screen door.  I feel badly he has had to fix things each time he has been here, but it is certainly helpful to me.  Thank you, Johnny.

Oh, and I should also mention, not long after Matt arrived he had the troops organized and loaded my almost empty wood rack on the deck.  Thanks so much to Matt and the boys.
Maria and Johnny had brought Christmas for everyone and so that was celebrated before everyone went back home.    A very nice Thanksgiving and Christmas combined.

Thanksgivings Past

As I prepared for Thanksgiving I was remembering some from my past.  The second year of our marriage and when Johnny was about three months old we had Thanksgiving in our little apartment in Pacific Beach.  We had card tables in our living room and besides my sister Carole and her friend Jean, we had several others friends.  The tables really looked nice and as I remember our first big dinner entertainment was very successful.  Sounds like so much work with a new baby, I must have had lots of help.

The Thanksgiving dinners in our big home on the hill in Glendive were always memorable but mostly I remember when I was in high school.  Mom was such a great cook.  My brother Dick and his wife and baby Rod lived next door and of course, the missionaries were always in attendance.  The house had been remodeled and so there was a huge dining room with beautiful curtains on a huge sunny window.  Another favorite Thanksgiving in Glendive was in my junior year at BYU.  Marilyn had been dating an oilman from Arkansas in the summer and then she went to Idaho  to work in Ferrell's.  Arky called and proposed and we all gathered in our home on the 23rd of Nov 1954.  The Thayne's and I had come from Orem and Provo and I drove the plymouth back to use at BYU.   That was when I had my special Tender Mercy on a slippery hill in Wyoming.   It was a really lovely wedding with my Dad doing the nuptials and we all had long dresses.  Marilyn looked beautiful and Arky was so very handsome.

One memorable Thanksgiving with our children was at Knott's Berry Farm.  At that time they were serving family style and it was a huge room filled with lots of strangers and delicious food being passed around long tables.  I am sure they don't do that anymore.

Another favorite Thanksgiving destination when the children were little was Big Bear.  We rented cabins and went with the Martin Hardy family and visited Santa's Village on the weekend.

Another outstanding Thanksgiving in my mind is 2003 in Maryland.  I was working for the New York SBA and they had borrowed a Marriott kitchen in a motel and served a really delicious dinner.  The butternut squash was especially outstanding.  One of the guys and I had to drive from across the Chesapeake Bay to attend and only had to bring some bottles of wine and cider.  It was well worth the drive.

A couple of times I was in Fort Worth, Texas SBA for Thanksgiving and they would have huge potlucks and did the deep fried turkey out in the parking lot of the big SBA buildings.  Those Texans are marvelous cooks, it was so good, not only the turkey was outstanding, but the wonderful cakes and pies!!

The year of Katrina and Rita I was stationed in Galveston, Texas and we ate at a wonderful buffet.  Thank heaven things were up and running by Thanksgiving even though I had lost 20 lbs in Sept and Oct from scanty eating.

Unfortunately Thanksgiving will always be associated with Richard's death and my own brother Dick as well.  For my brother Dick's funeral I believe I flew to Glendive without Richard or the children.  It was the first time I had been in the new chapel built in Glendive and as I remember a very nice service.

Then my Richard died on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving after we had flown to Reno and Maria had picked us up.  He had heart attack at 2:20 am.  We had a sad Thanksgiving dinner and then Maria flew back to San Diego with me and Richard's body, not sure which day we did what, it is all rather foggy in my mind.  However, this time of year is always a little bit hard for me as it is a very sad remembrance.

My Worst Nightmare-Again!

Today I was headed into my office when the telephone rang.  Since I don't keep a phone in my office anymore I did a quick turn, tripped on the hall coat rack and went straight down on the floor.  Luckily my hardwood floor is a lot softer then cement and my left hand and knees took the brunt of it--two nails broken, knees were under heavy jeans so not so tragic.  However, it scares me how easily I can go down.  I have to step so carefully.   Ok, falling is one of my fears.

In the paper today I read about another flue fire.  Another of my fears.  I cannot get my fire as hot as I should to burn up the creosote.

 I was just reading last night that in the last days fear would grip the world, well, fears, I have them.

However, Pres Hinckley said 'Fear Not, Only Believe'.  Michael says I need to think 'more positively'--so what's new, I have always had a problem with that.  Problem is, since 1980 I have had more challenges than I deserved I think, so it is hard to think positively about the next 10 or 20 years, I mean, how can things can better at my age?  A miracle?  Michael asked me if I believed in miracles, I do, but not for me.

Two nights ago I watched the documentary about Gifford.  She and her husband and her mother certainly think positively and they have received and continue to receive a miracle I think.  Yes, I believe in miracles, but not for me.

Today I am listening to 'Diane Krall Radio'--so lovely, so soothing.  Music is my miracle, and the time to listen to it and appreciate it, in it's many forms.  Yes, music is my miracle.  What if I couldn't hear, that would really be tragic.

50's Music

I have finally found the perfect way to exercise.  Yes, it is dancing but so much easier since I discovered Paul Anka Radio brings music from the 50's with just the right beat to keep you moving and make it fun.  Yea!  Goal is a minimum of 1 hour a day at least.  So far I have done it but my legs are aching.  Still much better than finding myself a mile from home and panting and cold by walking in this winter weather.

Happy Birthday to Maria

Maria and Johnny having a wonderful Yosemite Birthday Weekend.  Happy Birthday to Maria on November 15th!

On facebook on the 15th Maria wrote she felt loved.  So happy for that.  The last time I felt loved was over 15 years ago.  Must cherish it while you have it.  Unfortunately we rarely recognize how really blessed we are until we have lost it.  We are too busy living our life to take the time to recognize the abundance in our life.

Singapore Wallhanging

I think the wallhanging and pillow covers fronm Singapore are such a reat addition to my Christmas. Meagan and I had such fun shopping for them and making the decision

I just realized I packed away Kirsten, my Swedish doll I dress in her Christmas costume, I think I will have to unpack her. "We need a little Christmas, Yes, we need a little Christmas" --I will have to get out my favorite Christmas cds and videos, too.

Pandora

Yesterday I created several radio stations on Pandora and then Mitch and Cara created several while they were here.   I am so amazed at all the bands and artists I know nothing about.

So I have not watched any TV today but just listened to music all day long.  It is very enjoyable.  Each song seems to have a memory from a time and place or a person.  And it is certainly more enjoyable than sad movies or depressing news.

Thanks Pandora.  I love your service.

Knitting Almost Over

Yesterday while finishing a hat for Mitch (didn't get the picture) and a second one for Mike (one that was large enough to cover his ear phones) I watched 'Ethan Fromme'.

It was over 60 years ago that I read it and over 15 since I saw the movie so I couldn't remember anything but the sledding accident. It was a total shock at the end. Certainly not the happy ending I like to have. However, when I read the Spark Notes about them making a suicide pact I totally missed that. My mind does wander but this is what is wrong with movies--in a classic like that you should just stick to the book. That being said, in my mind from watching the movie, I envisioned them planning on making their move west in the future and this sledding was just an enjoyable pleasure before Mattie had to leave. I thought they hit the tree when they avoided running their sled into the three children coming up the hill.

At any rate it is a sad fact that once choices are made you often have to stick them out if you don't have the means or the ability to change them. What a sad life for those three and you wonder how it possibly could have been more enjoyable for them to make the best of it but hard to see how--just had to endure. When I read it years ago it seems we were led to believe that they were being punished for their sins, but I am not sure I believe that.

When I read the Spark Notes I could see I had missed a lot of things the author was trying to tell us. But how do the critics know what the author means unless the author said so herself??? I had a literature teacher in college that said we could believe anything we wanted to from a story as long as we could back up our theory.  He wouldn't grade us down for a different opinion if we made a good point.

It made me think about the fact that are many lonely, unhappy people that are not being punished for anything, just don't know how to change their life. While I was eating lunch today I saw the brother of my neighbor sitting outside in 40 degree weather listening to his music. Was he banned from the house or was it his choice?

He used to come up with the neighbors after they built their house in 2005 and he would always bring his camper and stay in it even though the house has plenty of bedrooms. He liked to feed the deer and was kind to Bandido. He seemed very shy but ventured over into my yard once to tell me how much he liked it.

My neighbor had told me his brother had lost his good job and was living at home with their parents. He didn't have any other family. When he never came up again I inquired about him and my neighbor said that his cigar smoking made his (the neighbor's wife) unhappy and he didn't have his camper anymore so he couldn't come up with them. Since the wife wasn't with them on this two day trip I assume he had brought his brother to be kind but still he appeared to be banned to the outside although I did not see evidence of a cigar. Just looks like a very sad man.  Must be very hard to have a successful brother with two lovely homes and a nice family and he has nothing.  Lots of sadness in the world.

Mitch Turns 21

Mike brought home a pizza and I baked a cake and Mitch and Cara came up to celebrate Mitch's 21st birthday tomorrow November 13th. We played 'You Don't Know Jack' and Mike has new competition--Cara beat him one game!