More on McKay Discipline

Child Discipline by David O. and Emma Ray McKay as reported by their son Lawrence.

1--Expectations: It was very clear what we were expected to do and they themselves were so self-disciplined that we were never confused by seeing them behave in a way different from the way we were supposed to behave.

   Rule: Never give a child or an animal a command that you cannot immediately see is carried out. (A command was never given twice)

2--Love: Our parents' expectations provided the path for us to follow, and our love for them provided an irresistible motivation for us to walk that path.  We learned to love them because they first dearly loved each other and us.

Examples: Kicked a girl at school--When Father heard about it, he took me to girl's house for me to apologize.  He didn't scold me or nag me, just became part of the process of setting that embarrassing situation aright.

Scolding was not part of the repertoire of either parent.  Father just looked and we knew.  He never used any physical punishment but he had a firm rule: "Never repeat a clear command.  If you repeat it, the child will always wait for the repetition."  In a letter to his wife Father wrote:

 "There is a lively two-year-old boy here in the train, and a mother who is constantly, constantly, constantly saying, "Donald!" "Donald, don't do that!" "Donald, dear, come here!" etc., etc.  And Donald does "that" and Donald doesn't come here, and so another future American citizen gets his first lessons in disregard for law and order.  I am so glad I have a loving wife who is also a wise mother, and I love her because she is both and more."

Another example:  We were riding to Huntsville in the surrey.  Father was driving, Mother was in the front seat and Llewelyn and I were sitting on the rear seat.  I was not very old, and I was scuffling with Llewelyn.  This was dangerous, of course, because one of us could fall in front of the wheel.  Father quietly told me to stop.  I persisted.  Then Father let me out of the carriage.

I can still remember walking up the hill, seeing the team and surrey going along, getting farther away by the minute.  I was old enough to have walked the rest of the way and was certainly in no danger on the country roads of those times; but Father let me walk just far enough to comtemplate the lesson in sufficient leisure, then stopped and waited for me.  I was a much-chastened boy when I climbed back into the surrey.  There was no more teasing or quarreling.

Note: I think my mother must have read Mrs. McKay's booklet 'The Art of Rearing Children Peacefully' because she and Dad used this type of discipline.