I do my best thinking when I am driving--so two opportunities this week to think. First, I drove to Susanville to take a test for Census work. Unfortunately I had forgotten my glasses and they do make a difference. I was so slow. I only have to score a 70 so if I don't make it I will go back and take the test again. While I was driving down I was thinking about what makes us happy and unhappy.
I decided that children and old people are generally happy because they have no expectations--if you have no expectations, you can't be disappointed. I was remembering years ago while working at the Church welfare tuna cannery I was standing next to an older lady. I was a newlywed so she was imparting some of her wisdom on me. She said I should not have expectations about what my husband will say or will do in any given situation because they will always do it and say it differently than you had expected and thus you will be disappointed. I found later she knew exactly what she was talking about, it was so true. She told me she could just hear the words her husband was going to say and of course, he never did say those words.
Charles Shulz said it well, "My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy, I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" I'll tell you what he was doing right---absolutely no expectations!!
Edward De Bono said, "Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations." That makes a lot of sense. I always wanted to be able to sing. A few months ago I spent a lot of time singing on SnipSnap--a karoke on the internet. I was very unhappy with what I heard. It was so much worse than I expected. Since I stopped singing and ever expecting to be able to carry a tune I can truly appreciate the talents of others and be happy--no expectations for myself. Today Marjorie and I attended the Chester Community Chorus. I so enjoyed watching a lady named Patty. She sang with such feeling and enjoyment on her face, she was a joy to watch. It was particularly great this year--wonderful to listen to, lots of variety, very mellow and flowing. I love the way this director Elsie creates this marvelous production.
George Sand said, "There is only one happiness in life to love and be loved." The problem with that is--if you don't feel loved, you are unhappy. I learned long ago I would much rather really love someone else than worry about whether they loved me. It is a real joy to love your baby, your child, your man, your sister, and not have expectations of what you must have in return for that love.
H. H. The Dalai Lama say, "The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering, And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy." So true. I always liked Richard's answer when asked "Hi, how are you?" He would say, "Happy." I am sure he wasn't always happy but it was a self-fulfillment.
Henry David Thoreau said, "That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest." Oh, yes, that is so, so true.
James Oppenheim said, "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." I remember so well after Richard had his first heart attack and was zapped back to life. I can still see him as he looked in the wheel chair as they brought him to see the children. He looked so beautiful and full of life. I vowed never to say, "I'll be so happy when..." or "If only thus and so, then things would be perfect..." etc.
When I was a new school teacher in San Diego and worked with the three year olds in the Church nursery. There was one lady who had the most darling children but I didn't think she realized it. She was always cross with them. I look now at pictures of my darling children and wonder, did I really appreciate them as much as I should or was I always stressed over what they were and were not doing??? Something to think about, time goes so fast and the opportunity to enjoy that age or that experience is soon gone.
John Hilton said "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven."
Oh, why can't we learn that one, we cause ourself more stress and pain than anything else does.
And this is a good one for me from Albert Schweitzer, "Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." Yes, I have been blessed with a bad memory and I tend to forget the sadness of my life. That is a good thing.
I like this one, too. Kin Hubbard said, "It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an' wealth have both failed." I know one thing that makes you happy is when something unexpectedly nice happens to you. Yesterday when I went to start a fire I saw that someone had completely filled my wood bin--yea, no trip in the snow to bring in the wood. That made me happy, such a nice surprise. Ron had come over to fix my garage and did the wood bin thing-- Which reminds me of what Albert Schweitzer said, "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know; the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." Ron is a home teacher who serves so well, I am sure he is happy.
And finally in conclusion in my thoughts on happiness is "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis." as spoken by Margaret Bonnano. Every day is a new day to be happy...
Oh, yes, the second time I had could reflect on my thoughts this week is when I drove to Susanville to see "New Moon". No one else wanted to see it. So there I was with the rest of the old ladies and teen age girls. I enjoyed it very much, especially the wolf scenes and Vulcari (sp) scenes. They need to work a little on the chemistry between the stars, though. It was much better in the books.
So, what makes you happy???
