What Now?

Friday I didn't get to see the Dermatologist who was supposed to do the Mohl? surgery as I was having a Gluten Attack and had to leave before he arrived.  So now I may go to San Diego and see my regular Dr. Barbara.   Working on it.  I was feeling apprehensive all week about this Surgeon so maybe this is for the best.  We'll see.  I feel positive about making this happen so it must be the right thing to do.

Today was a spectacular Spring day--Bandido enjoyed his walk and had a bath and seemed relaxed.  Mitch's friends came to get him.  He may be going to San Diego with me if I can get an appointment--or he will be flying there on Wednesday if I can't work it out.  Anyway Mitch and Mike and Maria are working with me to make it happen.  Mark said Mike could drive the Mazda if he gets insurance so we will see.  I should probably get my oil changed before I go...always something.

Last Monday morning I was working with Mitch in the yard doing the raking of the branches until I was too tired.  Now I have this pain that stabs me in the right thigh every once in awhile.  I can hardly walk and them voila, it is gone.  It is the strangest thing.  It never ceases to amaze me the things that can go wrong with my old body at times and then strangely be perfectly fine, what is that all about?

Loving my music, especially Chris Botti on his trumpet, so soothing.  When I get in the car and Mike's music blares out I can't change it fast enough and yet it makes him ill to listen to my music and Mitch's is entirely different again.  So strange at the great variety and we all relate to a different genre.  Love my music anyway.  The best investment I have made is the little music player from Wal Mart that I can dock my Ipod into and let it put me to sleep and turn itself off.  Love it.

Who Do You Think You Are?

On Friday nights Ancestry.com is featuring a  TV show called "Who Do You Think You Are?" and they have been using movie stars as their subjects for research into their ancestry.

The most interesting part is that they travel to so many different museums and places where special records are kept and explain what kind of original records they have.  It is very educational and fascinating and never boring.

For instance I never knew that the British hired Hesian solders to help them fight in the Revolution.  Rob  Lowe's ancestor was one of them who stayed in America and became a Patriot and famous citizen in Ohio.  They read from original documents at various sights in Washington D C and New Jersey.  They then went to Germany and found more of his ancestors there in the Church records.

They could probably have found out all of this from records stored in Salt Lake City but it is much more interesting to go to original sources.

It is a really a well done show and should encorage many people to start tracing their ancestry lines.  I am ready to plunge into Ancestry.com mysself and see if they have anything I do not already have--of course, this is what they want...

Today

Interesting article today about all the lavish vacations by Michelle Obama and the costliness to the American Taxpayers. 

The surprising part were all the hateful comments following the article.  So much hate out there.  Not hard to understand why.

Also an interesting article about the Feds and their crackdown on Medical Marijuana and wondering why.  Pharmaceutical companies behind it???? Makes you wonder.

What did I say about seeing only beauty and good today.  Impossible if you read the news media.  I better take a walk instead.

Yesterday...

I wanted to make some of my favorite gluten free bread but alas, I was out of yeast and so I tried the biscuits.  They were marvelous, raspberry jam on biscuits never tasted so good!!  Many thanks to Roben Ryberg, who put all these tasty recipes together in her book "Gluten-Free Kitchen."

I took too long of a nap and so I awoke early, early this morning and spent my time perusing blogs on the internet, Advice Blogs, for the most part and I was reminded of  2 Timothy in the Bible where he describes the perilous Last Days.  I remember emphasizing it with my high school seminary students back in the 70s.  He says in Chapter 3, Verse 7  "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."  So many experts out there with their wordy wisdom--bah, humbug.

I watched my saved TV program of Betty White and her antics with her "old" friends.  I must say they are a spry, clever group that make the young people laugh and wonder.  Very funny entertainment.  I thought about this "aging" thing and how we change.  Our minds slow down, our memory fades, we are not as quick on our feet or as fast at the wheel and it is interesting how the "younger" people treat us.

For the most part I must say most younger people treat us with great kindness and caring, especially if they see we need help in some way.  I have never been called "Honey" or "Sweetie" so much as in my latter years.  This speaks very well of human beings, being tender to those less able.  However, on occasion I have met those who are impatient and rude...mostly selfish, arrogant, impatient 30 something guys.  I must be reminded though that I am not always patient with the antics of my elder "Bandido".  Old people and dogs can be very exasperating and I understand that.

For instance I try and get up  before Bandido needs to wander out to the kitchen and hopefully outdoors to relieve himself.  Mostly we do well, but how upsetting when I kindly put him outdoors and he then quickly stands by the door again to come in as if he is finished and ready to eat and so proud of himself--only to make a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor 10 minutes later.  What is that all about?

Patience, patience, and understanding, we all need it, we are all faulty, we are all imperfect.  Which reminds me of a sweet, sweet movie I saw the other day of a beautiful, smart  lady looking for the Perfect Man.  She found him, but guess what, she didn't love him...she loved an imperfect, charming, funny, messy haired, faulty guy.  Isn't that wonderful?  We can be loved, even as imperfect as we are, and treated kindly.

Reminds me of the very funnty, always, Seinfield episode where they all looking in the crib at the amazingly ugly baby (supposedly) who the parents are gushing over...and they are all stumbling to know what to say.  Of course, we know they are all self-absorbed 30 somethings, they wouldn't know "cute" unless it was their own...

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"..I will.see only beauty and good today.  It is my choice.

Spring Time is Coming! Daffodils Announce Arrival!

 

 

 

 

Trust

Today I read about the "pat down" by TSA agents of a 4 year old from Montana.  So sad what America has come to, terrorizing children and no common sense anymore, anywhere.  I hate to fly anymore.  And then we read about the TSA agents getting "paid" to let drug dealers slip through the system--no sense at all and who can be trusted anymore?

I received my first DVD of "Holocaust" which is a series from 1978.  It is mild compared to the real documentaries I have watched and they have learned so much more about the Holocaust since then.  Still it is well done, has Meryl Streep and other great stars.  It is so obvious that the world did not understand or care what was taking place.

Mike says I shouldn't watch this depressing stuff but I think it is important to know--doesn't help with trust issues though.  This was the biggest problem for survivors of the Holocaust, to learn to trust again or ever.

Our favorite teacher Jane gave two great lessons on Sunday.  One on not fearing because we are prepared and the other on the importance of "writing our story".  She made the comment that the must mentally sound people are those who keep journals.  I must be very sound, I blog my journal, I write ongoing updates to my deceased husband and I keep every letter, card, note I receive.  Is tht writing my story or what.   I am up to 1970 on My San Dieog Years---My Lake Almanor Years are all up to date except for the first five.  The question is who will ever read about life in the 1933-2012 era?  My great, great, great grandchildren?  If my children save my books, maybe.

I love the way Jane teaches good values and principals from the Scriptures  and always leaves us with a positive message.  Great teacher!

Happy Birthday Girl!

What a beautiful family, Happy Easter 2012.  Love the hat, Kate.

Brynn Stewart, great granddaughter

April 20, 2012 One Year Old!

What a cutie, thanks for pictures, Kristi.

Oh, No!

I definitely have to go under the knife again.  All those years of sun have done me in.  It is basal cell and deep.  Woe is me.  I think I may have it done here or in Chico if need be, rather than going to San Diego.  I think when I go to San Diego, I want to be well, not all cut and bandaged up for awile.

Maybe Melissa will let me stay overnight, if need be.  Hope the Dr can do it when he comes up here.  My Dr says it must be done this month, I have waited too long as it is.  Hope my hair covers it...

Tanner Goes to College!

BYU-Idaho, Here Comes Tanner!

Great Picture!

Cousins already at College--Great!
Idaho Falls River

Brother Craig has an interneship in Washington this summer!

Love that sky, and Tanner may take up fishing???

More on the Holocaust

I read or I should say skimmed a huge book called "Hitler's Willing Executioners".

It was too much of an academic book to read every word...the book was the result of a Doctorate by Daniel Jonah Goldhagen of Harvard.  But it really cleared up the answer as to how Hitler was able to carry out the "Final Solution" for at least six million anyway.

Mr. Goldhagen "shows that antisemitism was already deep-rooted and pervasive in German society before Hitler came to power, and there was a widely shared view that the Jews ought to be eliminated in some way from German Society."  

Most of the executioners were not just the Nazis and SS but just ordinary Germans.  And contrary to belief, they were not forced to kill, they could have been assigned somewhere else.  They were also much more cruel to the Jews than to  other prisoners.  "They individually made those choices as contented members of an assenting genocidal community, in which the killing of Jews was normative and often celebrated."

Church leaders proclaimed "the Jews to be incapable of being saved  by baptism, owing to their racial constitution, to be responsible for the war, and to be "born enemies of the world and Germany".  They did not believe they could get to the millennium without the expulsion of the Jews.

It was a very interesting book (though too much for my eyes to read) and certainly clarified a lot of questions.  It was published in 1996.

Busy Day!

Today I started out with indexing a 120 names of the 1940 Census .  They were all in Fergus and Flathead Counties in Montana.  I will say this, most people had lodgers in their home or were living as lodgers in other people's homes  and most had lived like this for five years or longer!

Then I did a half hour of dancing.

And then I put up my wire fences around the Lily gardens.  The lilies don't come out till summer but I have to start early to deter the deer.  I am using the ribbons around the fences again this year to see if that will work.  I have used up most of the ribbon I brought from Mary's home in 2000--looks like May Pole country in my yard.

Then I cleaned off my desk, which is major,  and finally watched my documentary and the end of War and Remembrance.  Good to be busy.  Mike was in Sacramento.

Finished!

Today I watched the last DVD of "War and Remembrance". I had already read the ending but it was still a tearful one.  I do remember hearing about the War Refugees after WWII but I am not sure I understood how many lost children there were and how many were psychologically disturbed.  Most of them had lost their parents so were in reality orphans...some too old to be in orphanages.  They were spread all over Europe, even in England and some were sent to Canada.  Probably some were sent to America, I am not sure.

Of course, if they lived, they were the lucky ones but as the documentary showed I had watched earlier today, many had too much to forget and never get back into the mainstream of society.  I also learned that near the end of the war the Nazis did not bother to gas the children, they just threw them directly into fire.  Besides the ovens, they also had pits outside which were like huge drains and they would pile alternate layers of bodies and wood and then throw gasoline on the whole thing and let it burn and the ashes would fall into the huge holes under the large grate.


So if the refuges did survive, the older people did not have homes to go back to, as they had been usurped by others, and the children did not know where or if they had any family anywhere.

I still have three more DVDs coming on the Holocaust so my learning is not over yet.

Prisoner of Her Past

"Prisoner of Her Past" is a very interesting documentary on PBS about a Holocaust Survivor who is now living in a convalescent home but still keeps her bag packed and doesn't trust anyone.  She never talked about her past to her children but one day in her old age she packed her bag and left her home because "someone" was going to kill her.  She is experiencing PTSD according to the doctor's at the Home and now talks about her fears all the time.

In 1942, when she was 10, her mother sent her and her sister out of the home to hide so they would not be rounded up and killed, as was happening to the Jews in the Ghetto.  She never saw her parents again.  She cannot tell exactly what happened to her or how she survived but she obviously was sexually abused as that comes out again and again in her references now.

Her son, who is a writer, told her story as it became known to him and as he traveled to Poland to try and trace her roots.  It is an excellent documentary and adds more information to the Holocaust documentaries I have been watching.

It was interesting that it was not just the Nazi's killing the Jews -- it was the local Ukrainians and others policeman as well.  Whether they were being forced by the Nazis is not known for sure by these children survivors.  They were witnesses to a lot that happened but as one man said it is like a series of photographs in his mind, not a continual memory.  He listened as his mother was burned in a fire started by Hungarians when his family was hiding in a building.  Then he watched his father being beat to death by a man with a gun.   He was taken in by a Czech family, father only 24, but this father treated him so well, he learned to trust and survived without any PTSD.  His sister who was abused sexually as she grew older after they left the Czech farm came out of the war very ill and was never mentally well again.  Interesting though, he was the father who would not raise his son Jewish.  He siad,  "I was so good, I was so good, and God was not good to me, he took both my parents."

The two children of these Holocaust Survivors were having a conversation about being active Jews.  The one raised in Poland said his father did not feel it was good for him to be raised Jewish so he was  not.  The one raised in America said there was so much hate from the Holocaust Survivors  when they got together that it drove him away from Religion and he lost himself in his music.

Interesting documentary--in fact they end it with what they are doing with children who survived Katrina to help them not to have PTSD.  They interviewed some of those children and one girl told how she has a bag packed by her bed all the time. Of course, we are all supposed to have that, aren't we?  Most important of all for a healthy survival is to Tell Your Story!!!   Don't hold it all in.  That is what I do--we all need to tell our story.

Aussie Bear Joins the Hardys

 

 

 

 

Good News Today!

Camber's brother Chase and his wife Amy both graduated today from BYU Hawaii!!

Congratulations to a couple of smart, goodlooking, and California cousins!

 

Happy Birthday, Kelsi!

Kelsi turns 6!  And on Friday the 13th, too!  Hope it means good luck!
Love the long hair, Kelsi.  Have a wonderful year.

  

Casablanca

A more fun movie was the 70th anniversary of "Casablanca".  No wonder I did not think Humphrey Bogart was so handsome and that he was too old when I saw it.  I was only 9!  I liked Tab Hunter types at that age.

Anyway I thought he was much more handsome than I remembered.  I also understood the story much more after reading Wikipedia.  I think we missed a lot of understanding in the movies we saw as children.

One remarkable thing is how much better the sound was than in the movies I see every day.  It is because they put all this loud background music in the movies today and you have a hard time understanding what they are saying. 

I loved the old songs played, of course, "As Time Goes By" especially,  but I was surprised to hear a rendition of "Perfidia" also.  This was popular when I was a freshman in college.

Anyway, great movie, especially now that I understand the whole story and how noble Bogart was being and why they got back "Paris" and why it is such a great love story.

Snow Day/Movie Day of Auschwitz

This is what we woke up to and it snowed all day from there.  Mitch was up early and cleaned the whole 14 inch high driveway and the wide berm the old fashioned way--with a shovel!  What a job.  I think Mitch is a purist.  Mitch had a friend pick him up from Susanville so they could check out a house to rent.

I settled in for a great movie day.   Netflix had delivered the second to the last DVD of "War and Remembrance".   Horror scenes in Auschwitz!  Later I watched more of the PBS Auschwitz series and learned some new things.

 Nazi leaders were concerned at how this "Final Solution" was affecting the SS in charge but according to survivor SS soldiers they preferred this assignment to the Front.  They had ample food and drink and actually were not affected by the horrors they committed.  Few were the least bit sympathetic.  They had been indoctrinated from  childhood that the Jews had caused them great harm and even the children needed to be killed.  They understood and accepted this.

In one instance at the beginning 4100 children were taken from their mothers (who were killed) and sent to survive for themselves with other political prisoners in a concentration camp.  Later they were all put in a cattle car and taken many miles to be gassed.

A study done later has reflected on the fact that the morals of a society can best be judged by the way it treats it's children.

The Nazis learned to keep the children with the parents and went to great lengths to deceive them as to what was going to happen to them.  They made the entrance appear to be a pleasant train station with signs.  They were lined up and  some were chosen to be preserved to work themselves to death and others with children or the old and weak were sent for disinfection.  They were told to put their clothes with valuables in pockets in neat piles or on hooks.   They were herded to showers, which were actually gas, and then they fell to their deaths while wedged closely together naked.  It was a learning procedure as the Nazi's learned just the right amount to kill them quickly.  I won't soon forget those images.

The lengths the Nazis went to for secrecy is amazing.  They even falsified a whole community for a Red Cross inspection from Denmark to show that the Danish Jews were being treated very well.  The inhabitants  (after the great show) were  later sent to camps to be gassed.

They tried different methods of disposal until they built the ovens and then had the ashes sent down the river to the Baltic Sea.   Nazis were rewarded for their lack of compassion.  One of the most ruthless SS was a 20 year old farm girl.  After the war she was executed as a War Criminal.  Where had she learned to be so evil growing up on a farm???

So hard to conceive of a people so full of hate!  The money, jewels, diamonds, etc. that were found in the pockets was all meticulously recorded and sent to Berlin.  The Nazis gained great wealth and property from the Jews.  I was surprised that the Jews were taken from all over Europe, even the English Channel Islands.  Such deception.  The unbelievable thing is that when news first came out about what the Nazis had done it was not believed.  It was buried in the back of newspapers so they would not look foolish as they were duped into publishing it.  Even U S military officers who tried to get the truth out were demoted because they were pushing propaganda.  It was too unbelievable... what was being leaked out as fact.

One question unanswered is why the US would not bomb Auschwitz crematoriums, etc in June 1944 when proof was furnished from escapees and they asked the US to bomb so the killings would have to stop.  In another incident Eichmann offered to sell 1 million Jews for 10 trucks and England and the allies would not do it and a note on a memo said, "They might want to sell more and what would we do with them?"  The Hungarian leaders cooperated with the Nazis on furnishing Hungary Jews. 

Not enough was done by others who could have helped even when the truth was known.

There was about 1% of the people who were sympathetic to the homeless children and a few were taken in to live as an invisible person with a family until the end of the war.  It is remarkable that there were as few as there were but they were all frightened for their own survival so intense was the rounding up of the Jewish people.

As they realized the war was lost, the remaining prisoners were put in cattle cars and then left in remote places to die!!!  There were about 2000 children who were saved by by the liberating Russian soldiers.  Most of them wre twins who Dr. Carl Menger had been experimenting on.

Another horror of the liberation is that the slave labor Jewish women were raped over and over by the Soviet soldiers who were supposedly saving them!!!

There were possibly no lessons to be learned from Auschwitz except to what depths of evil and horror the human being is capable of.   And even though it was said, "Never Again" there has been genocide in the world since then and the world community did nothing (Ruwanda and Darfur, etc)  The PBS series "Auschwitz" is very educational and yet sickening to hear the truth.

My Easter 2012

I don't think there was more than 20 at Church today but we had good lessons and a nice talk.  Not like the Protestant Easters but very spiritual and meaningful.

For Dinner Mike made Ham and Broccoli Quiche and I made Creamed Corn and Au Gratin Potatoes (the Funeral Potatoes version) and we also had rolls.  I had intended to make my favorite Lemon Coconut Cake that I felll in love with in Texas but when the bell sounded on the cake I was shocked to see it had never risen.  That is what happens when you forget to change the Broil setting to Bake--it was like soft pudding under the browned top.

So I threw that away and made Heavenly Pie which was my brother Dick's favorite.  It is meringue on the bottom with lemon and whipped cream filling and topped with whipped cream--only I used Cool Whip.  Actuaully pretty good.  I had left Mitch and Mike some little Easter Baskets. 

Mitch did not go to Michigan and is going to be living in Susanville for awhile and working with his band.

Lea and Keira

We forgot to take pictures as did Linda, Jimmy and Maria.  They had gathered their families at Jimmy's house for lots of yummy food.  Keira looks a little worried, must be a cautious child like her Grandpa John was.  Look at all her hair.  Lea is looking beautiful at 12!

Keira at Easter 2012

 

Kelsi and Keira

We Miss You, John!

In 1963 we traveled to my parent's home in Idaho Falls and then on to the Cabin at Silver Gate.  John is all decked out in the cowboy outfit we bought at Ferrell's Store in Idaho Falls, (which was managed by my brother David).  Good Memories.

He loved Grandpa Ferrell's truck.

Happy Birthday, Melissa!

Beautiful Melissa, a college girl who is one smart gal.

Looks like she should major in Modeling instead of Accounting!

Lillie of Jersey

I have been watching another interesting British Series called "Lillie" and yesterday I found it is based on the life of a real person.  She lived in the Victorian Age and was one of the mistresses of Bertie -- son of Queen Victoria, who was married to Alexandra.  Lillie was considered the most beautiful woman in the world and was sought after by many men.  She became an actress and wealthy in her own right.  It is a very interesting series.  She was called a professional beauty--which was like a model who posed for many paintings.  That is how she got her start.  It is interesting the way men pursue married women and so many have affairs with the knowledge of their wives and/or husbands.

Another series I have put hours into over the last two months I am now on the the second Volume of DVDs--the series "Winds of War" became "War and Remembrance" and is not on the streaming list of Netflix so I get about two DVDs a week and still have many to go.  I am impressed with Netflix and their system.  Very impressive.  Anyway sometimes I can hardly bear to watch what is happening in some of  the Nazi WWII scenes but I have learned a lot and it is a very well done series.  The books would be fun to read but so long...

Since my big TV is broke I am enjoying DVDS, Roku, and TV all in my bedroom.  Good thing I have Mike's old TV--it is a big screen.

I also tracked down the book "Men Are Like Streetcars" written in the 30s and read when I was in high school.  It is a fun book to read.  Strange slang words and expressions they had in the 30's but there are little tips about dating and such.  That must have been what I liked in high school.

I am amazed how much I have been accomplishing on my San Diego Years book, it is tiring but I am glad to get it done though sometimes some memories come back I would just as soon forget but I am glad I have things written down,  I know this exercise is more for me than expecting anyone to read my writings and see my pix but good memories mostly.  Life is Good.  Just wish I had more energy.

Today I did a good food chart and I start my 17 points a day for 30 days...it is Weight Watchers and I really need to get off the fat and sugar and carbs so here I go again.

One thing good about Dish--I like their music stations!!!

Update on the Stewarts!

 

Ryan, Kate and Brynn
Great Grandchildren Cuties...

More Snow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the trees are so heavily coated with snow it is an indescribable beauty.  There is no wind and it won't melt for awhile.  Last year it froze instead of melting and many branches broke under the heavy weight.  The snow today is magnificent.

Snow Day

My postbox protected by the big tree.

Daffodils!

Snow creations!



Who I Was Named After

I remember my mother telling me I was named after Janet Gaynor.

Today I watched a silent movie called  "Sunrise" starring Janet Gaynor.  I don't think I had ever seen her in a movie and I did not realize she was a star of the silent films.   This movie was made in 1927.  It is so amazing how much they could emote with their facial expressions and body actions.  You hardly needed the few words on the screen they showed occasionally.

 
It is no wonder I never saw her, she retired from films in 1937 to travel with her husband.

She was one of just a few actresses who successfully went from silent to sound films.  I would love to see her in "A Star is Born"--the original of the remake that I loved Judy Garland in  many years later.

What exciting basketball games today!  And good conference this afternoon.  We had a power outage all morning, but first one this year, life is good.

Bad News

Today I had my annual physical and my cholesterol is up!!!  No wonder--I have been eating like a teenager this winter.  So saying goodbye  to bad habits and tomorrow is a new day.

I am telling myself I can't take a trip to San Diego until I lose 18 pounds.  That is not too much but it will be a good start so do it!!  I just need to cut out all the fat I have been eating


For some reason I had interesting conversations in the waiting room at the Drs.  I should really socialize more, it is good for me.  The first couple were just interested in listening to my Bandido story and we went from there and then the last three were interested in my Montana wolf jacket and wanted to talk about Montana.  One of them had a father in Scobey and another had a cousin in Billings.  They did not know where Cooke City was.  They liked my
jacket.


I finished "To Kill A Mockingbird".  So glad I read it again, and yes, every high school student should read it, everyone should read it.  I also watched another episode of "War and Remembrance" and it was such vivid images of details of the holocaust...so unbelievable what they did. 

When I was in 4th grade our teacher read us episodes of  Toby Tyler (joins the circus) every day after lunch.  I really enjoyed it.  Today I watched a movie that was made about him in the 60's.  Still enjoyed it.  Life is good.

Live in the Mountains

Meagan gave me a sign that said, "If you are lucky enough to live in the moutains, you are lucky enough."  That was so true today.  The sun was shining, it was not too cold and the grounds were still covered with snow.  So beautiful, so peaceful.

Poor Bandido, though.  He missed the driveway twice.  Each time he walked passed it and then turned around and came back.  I was letting him lead us on his leash.  The third time he turned in at the right place.  He didn't know when to turn in at the deck either.  He certainly cannot be outside at all by himself.  Poor Bandido.

Today I have been scanning pictures and listening to music.  I can't believe how much I accomplish since I went off Facebook.  Life is just a lot simpler if you are not involved in everybody's else's life.  As my FEMA friend said, "If anybody wants to communicate with me, they know where I am."  Guess that is true.

I have been writing again in my San Diego Scene and reading a lot of old letters.  It was a good time when we used to write letters, I am so glad I have them.

Pacific Beach in 1964

This is another fun picture I found today.  This was the day after my sister Carole's wedding in Pacific Beach.  I am on the left, then my Mom, sister-in-law Mary, Carole, and my sister Jeanne.  The children are Cheri ( Mary's daughter) Linda, Carole (Jeanne's daughter) and Johnny.  Evidently David and Marilyn did not come to the wedding.  Who had baby Maria?  In most of the pictures, Mary was holding her.  And I didn't see Richard in any of the beach pictures.  He must have had to work after taking off the day before for the wedding.

From 1956

This is another old picture I found of my first year of teaching in San Diego.  I was teaching in South San Diego and had too many students and no control in the second grade I was teaching.  It was my second year as I had taught one year in Billings, Montana.  The big difference is I had only around 20 students in Montana and here I had from 38-40 most of the year.  It was very difficult and depressing. 

My friend Norma (on the end right, who later set me up with Richard) had us all do a three act play and it was a wonderful diversion from my teaching experience.   Fourth from the left is Danny Prager who lives on the same street as Meagan in San Diego.  Second from the right is John who I dated when I first came to San Diego and next to me on my left is Bob who also wanted to date seriously.  He was very nice but I was not interested in anything more than a friendship.  After I met Bill, I didn't date any of the locals.

These young adults all were single and living in Fourth Ward in San Diego so we had lots of fun activites.  There were many more other single adults, also.  It was a very fun ward for us to be in--North Park of San Diego.  I am, of course, the fifth from the right and I was playing the part of the mother in the play and Danny was my son, thus I had powdered grey hair.  The big scene was when I had to kiss my husband...I can't remember if it was Bob or Chuck.  Chuck, on my right, introduced me to Bill when he brought him to my school.  Bill told me later it was love at first sight.  We did have a fun romance with dancing, dinners, sailing, the zoo, and the beach.  San Diego was a fun, sleepy town in the 50's.

1966 Winter Picture

I love to find pictures of Richard with the children.   This was probably the winter of 1966 and we had probably gone up to Julian when it snowed.  Nobody has mittens.  Richard always enjoyed having an outing with the family.  Looks like Linda and Johnny are throwing snowballs on Richard's back.  We probably had hot chocolate and marshmallows before going back home.

We had about four inches of snow last night and it is all melting today.  Glad I fertilized the daffodils yesterday before the snow.

Mitch came up to get the rest of his things and to say goodbye.  He is going to Michigan for awhile to work and stay with his Valko grandparents.  I hope he enjoys the change.  I wonder if they are still having winter there???

Exhausted

Bandido and I are both recuperating from our exhausting ordeal, both of us walking far more than we normally do.  Him seeking home, me seeking him.  I know I didn't have any sleep Friday night and I am sure he didn't either as he wound his way down hill to the lakeside.

At least we are both sleeping a lot now and that is good.

It was interesting to go online and read of other traumatic experiences of people whose pets have disappeared, some eventually finding resolve and others none.  I can see why people seek others online for similar experiences so they receive some kind of understanding in their anxiety.  When a pet is lost or a loved one leaves, you have the same kind of guilty feeling.  What should I have done that I didn't.? Was I negligent?  Did I not show enough caring and love?

It has been a long time since Bandido has wanted to snuggle next to me like he used to--almost like an Alzheimer's patient, not knowing who he is or who you are, but I have been trying to get him to cuddle more since he came back.  Does it matter to him?  I am not sure?  His eyes are glazed, I know he sees the shadow of my outline but does he see me???

"Yesterday was just awful"

...from the musical "Annie".

Last night while it was still light Bandido was on the deck but not ready to come in.  When I went for him again he was gone.  As I have said before, Bandido has only gotten off the deck once in the past year and that is when the snow was as high as the deck...and yet here he was... gone.

I looked everywhere in the house.  Had I let him in and forgotten???  When Mike came home we looked again and again, even under the beds.  It was so dark it was hard to see in the yards but I checked back and front over and over again.  He was gone...but where?

At 2 am I still l hadn't been able to sleep and Mike was up, too.  He drove us around just in case Bandido had been hit by a car or was on the side of the road.  Nothing.

Bandido has 4 tags--one with my cell phone and his name, one with my house phone and his name, one with his rabies information and one with his Vet's name and number.  I thought if someone had taken him in out of the cold,  they would call in the morning.  At 9 AM I called the Security...no one had reported a found dog. 

I walked all the lots near my home.  I had read on the internet about how dogs go off to die by themselves.  I looked under all the decks.  I walked up and down the street and across the street.  Everytime the phone rang I thought it will either be good news or bad news but sooner or later he has to be seen and someone will call.  There are not too many in the LAAC this time of year.  Most are summer homes so it could be awhile.

But at about 4 pm the call came.  Mary at Security in a cheerful voice said I would find Bandido laying on the beach at such and such a number on Peninsula.  After I hung up I thought he must be dead or why would he just be laying there?  But she did sound cheerful.  I realized Mike had my car so asked my neighbor to drive me down.

When we got there my neighbor talked to the man of the house and I walked directly to the beach behind their house.  I could see him laying in a fluffy ball, not moving, and I started to cry.  But when I walked up to him I could see he was shaking like a cold leaf but when I wrapped him in my towel he cuddled up and perked up and got more perky as we neared home.

After a long drink and good food and some warm cuddling he was soon walking around acting very normal but inspecting everything and he looked very comforted to be home.  He keeps going back to eat and eat, he must have used a lot of energy last night.

When I later tried to take him for a walk or even use the run he did not want to.  He was either very tired or afraid, I am not sure which.  Since Bandido cannot see very well or hear very well it must have been very frightening for him to walk all the way from my house at the top of the peninsula down to the east shore of the peninsula.  We will never know why or how he did it...his left leg slips out from under him quite often and he walks in circles a lot.  No wonder he was so tired.  It is a lot further than I could have walked, that is for sure.  Mike thinks he was interacting with the raccoons...we will never know.

When we moved here 13 years ago.

At least for now, he has another lease on life and deserves a lot of cuddling, we better go see Dr. Bob and see what we can give him in comfort for his last days.   Hard to believe Richard and I picked him out of a litter 16 years ago in November, just before Richard died.  He has been a good, good friend to me.